


I’m Never Saying Goodbye To You

by tiggerblu



Category: Glee
Genre: Drama & Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-02-07 14:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 61,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21459223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiggerblu/pseuds/tiggerblu
Summary: A promise given, words spoken, and then not kept. Kurt had promised Blaine on more than one occasion he was never going to say goodbye, but he did. Was there any way for them to get their love back, or was it just over. Was it worth the fight, or better left alone **as usual I don’t own glee or the song mentioned in this story. Enjoy. Eventual Klaine.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 35
Kudos: 41





	1. The Beginning

A/N: Here is my newest book, I have several going, but as I get stuck on one, I move on to the next for a while. Reviews are always welcomed, and responded too. Thanks for reading

oOoOo

I’m never saying goodbye to you, I’m never saying goodbye to you. Words Blaine had lived for, and believed in. Kurt had first said those words when he transferred back to McKinley. He had whispered those words into Blaine’s ear as he held him oh so tight, and Blaine had believed, he _ had _ to believe, _ needed _ to believe, even though that had been one of the hardest moments of his life. No they weren’t breaking up, but he also knew nothing would ever be the same again.

Kurt had said those words again when Blaine was worried about the separation from him at the end of Kurt’s senior year, when Blaine felt his world would surely fall apart. Kurt would be going to New York with all these new opportunities. How would Blaine be able to match up to that, all those new experiences, new more exciting people, more exciting than a high school boyfriend that he wouldn’t get to see every day anymore.

He might not have said goodbye per se, but he had pulled away. It started so slow, calls missed skype dates rescheduled, emails and texts going unanswered. Important things going on in Blaine’s life, important things he needed to talk to his boyfriend about, the person he loved more than anyone else in the world, the person he needed the most.

Normally when something like that happens you can turn to your best friend, you still have someone to talk to, someone to help calm your crazy, someone to talk you out of doing something stupid, someone who can bring you back from the edge and talk you out of doing the worst thing you could possibly do. But what do you do when they were one in the same, when you no longer have options, when you no longer have someone to turn too.

Kurt had become his best friend not long after meeting him, when he transferred to Dalton. It all started off so easy, them becoming best friends, and then them falling in love. Blaine can still remember what he liked to think of as the _ stages _.

The things he said to Kurt as their relationship changed, grew, shifted from friend to best friend, to boyfriend, to the love of his life, his person, his world. It still sometimes made him smile at the ridiculousness of how long it took him to realize, something everyone else had known for months.

1\. “_ I got your back _”, - when he had gone to McKinley the day that Karofsky had stolen Kurt’s first kiss, he wanted to be Kurt’s mentor and friend, to help him through a hard time, make him feel better, be a support system for him, he had wanted to help Kurt have courage, wanted to help he talk to Karofsky, to let him know he wasn’t alone.

2\. “_ You are so much better than that girl is going is going to be _” – right after they sang their very first duet together. In that moment alone, how could he not have known, not seen? The feelings were right there on the surface the whole time. When they sat on that couch and just stared at each other. Yes he had finally started feeling the pounding in his chest, but that didn't mean he had feelings for Kurt, no way…

_ 3\. “I really, really care about you; I’m not very good at romance. I don’t want to screw this up”. _– The day at the Lima Bean when Kurt had told him, he thought that Blaine was going to ask him out on Valentine’s Day. True, at that point he wasn’t good at romance, but he had learned; for Kurt he would have learned, or done anything.

4\. “_ You move me” _ – The day he finally opened his eyes and realized what had been right in front of him the whole time. The day Kurt had song Blackbird, and changed Blaine’s life forever. In that instant, nothing would ever be the same, the day they shared their first kiss, their first, first together.

5\. “_ I think it’s adorable, you are adorable” _ – the day they were at Regionals, and Kurt had been so very nervous about singing their duet. So afraid he was going to mess up, even though Blaine knew that no one else could have done that song but Kurt, and he knew that _ he _ couldn’t have done it with anyone else.

6\. “_ You did win, and so did I. We got each other out of all of this and that beats a lousy trophy don’t you think _.” – The day after they lost at Regionals, when they were burying Pavarotti, when Kurt said he had really, really wanted to win. To Blaine, that had been when it had really started.

Yes he had realized he cared about Kurt right before their first kiss, but in that instant he knew that he meant what he said to Kurt, more than he had ever meant anything else in his life. He had gotten something so much more precious than a lousy trophy. His life changed in an instant… _ he _ had gotten Kurt.

7\. “_ I am crazy about _ you” - The day that even though he knew Kurt really wanted to go to the prom, he would have passed it up because of how the thought of going had affected Blaine. After everything Blaine had gone through when he was still at Carson, being beaten up after the Sadie Hawkins dance Kurt would have passed on doing something Blaine knew he wanted to do, he would have done something else just to make Blaine feel better.

Oh when did that change, he thought realizing just how bad that hurt. When had he stopped mattering, in the grand scheme of all things Kurt

_ 8\. I love you _ – He had felt it for a while, it had started off so slow, but had built over time. Sitting in the Lima Bean, hearing about everything that had happened at Nationals, he had missed him so much that week, he just had to say it, he had too, it was bursting out of him, all this love he felt for his beautiful blue eyed boyfriend.

What was kind of funny was they somehow had become boyfriends without the words needing to be said. Usually you asked someone something that important, will you be my boyfriend, but Blaine had never asked Kurt to be his boyfriend, and Kurt had never asked him, they had just fallen into it so natural, they cared about each other, yes the words might not have ever been asked or answered, but they just were, the feelings and the intent was still there. They were happy; they were each others, just the way it was supposed to be.

oOoOo

He had always been so proud to call Kurt his. He had always loved just standing beside Kurt, telling everyone that he was Kurt’s boyfriend and that Kurt was his. He had never been more proud to say that though, than on the day of Kurt’s junior prom, when they had played a cruel joke and had voted Kurt prom queen, proud of how he didn’t let it destroy him. 

Yes he had walked out for a minute, but when Blaine asked him what he wanted to do Kurt had looked at him and said “I am going to go back in there and be coronated, I am going to show everyone that they can't touch me, they can’t touch us, or what we have.” Blaine had been so very proud to be part of that US.

He had been proud of him when he stood there with dignity and accepted that crown, and then watched in sadness as he watched Karofsky walk away refusing to dance with him. He had felt so proud to walk up to him, holding out his hand and ask for the honor of having that dance, their first actual dance. He can still remember the look on Kurt’s face, the surprise. He had fallen just a little more in love with him that day.

Kurt’s senior year Blaine had transferred to McKinley to be with him, he had to spend as much time with him as he could, before they had to deal with a year of separation, a year apart. Kurt’s senior year wasn’t perfect; they had the whole sexting issue with Chandler, which Blaine still didn’t really understand.

Yes he had pulled away from him a little, trying to practice for when he would be spending next year alone, once Kurt left, but he never thought that would push Kurt into cheating on him, because even though Kurt never really saw it that way, to Blaine it had been cheating. Kurt had asked him to forgive him, and he had. Like he could do anything different, ever really stay mad at him, like he could ever turn his back and say goodbye.

So they had survived their first argument, as far as Blaine was concerned that would be the worst thing they would ever have to go through. If only he knew just how wrong he was…

oOoOo

Cause I am barely breathing  
And I can't find the air  
I don't know who I'm kidding  
Imagining you care, and I could stand here  
Waiting a fool for another day

But I don't suppose it's worth the price  
Worth the price, the price that I would pay

But I'm thinking it over anyway

“I love you,” Blaine said to nothing but dial tone, clicking his phone to lock the screen he walked to his next class feeling so dejected and lost, how had they gotten here, how had he lost so much. Kurt used to be his, and he knew it, now…. He just wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

He was tired; he was so tired of being the only one who cared. Kurt didn’t seem to. Every time they talked now, it was nothing about them, now it was vogue, or NYADA, or Isabel Wright. Whatever happened to conversations about Blaine and Kurt? This is how last year had gone with him more interested in New York instead of their relationship.

There was only so much time he could kill; only so many clubs he could join, he was in them all, but they still didn’t help him keep his mind off of Kurt. At school he was fine, he was able to keep his mind busy thinking about other things, but when he went home, there was nothing there to occupy his time. His parents were normally really busy with work, and Cooper was usually on set filming whatever movie he just happened to be working on at any given time.

He hung around with Sam a lot but even he had things he had to do, family commitments he had to keep. He had to babysit his little brother and sister, make sure that they were taking their baths, doing their homework; he didn’t have time to baby sit Blaine as well. Not that he had ever said anything like that, but…

The final straw for Blaine came when he had been trying to call Kurt for three days, just needing to talk to him about different things, wanting to let him know that he had won senior class president. Sure it might not seem that important to Kurt, now that he wasn’t in school but it was to him. He had really worked hard. Last year he had helped Kurt with his campaign, he had hung up posters, he had gone to every single debate, and had held him while he cried when he lost.

He didn’t expect Kurt to fly home and plan an inaugural ball or anything like that but a little acknowledgement from the person who was supposed to love him wasn’t asking too much he didn’t think. But today, when Kurt had finally seen fit to call him back, it was just to let him know that he had to cancel yet another skype date because Isabel needed the magazine up by midnight, no congratulations, no I miss you or even a simple I love you. It was just I’ll call you back later, but Blaine had quickly learned a long time ago that Kurt wouldn’t call him back. Blaine felt like he was sinking, and there was no one there to pull him to safety. He was floating on his own, and he just sank.

oOoOo

Blaine cheated, he cheated, he cheated, how stupid could he have been, he knew the second it happened, the second he had let his lips touch Eli’s he knew in he’s heart that his relationship with Kurt was over, he knew just how badly he had screwed up, what he had just ended, what he had just thrown away. There was no way Kurt would forgive him for this, Blaine might have forgiven Kurt for the Chandler sexting, but he knew Kurt would never forgive him for this.

He had just started feeling so numb, he felt like Kurt no longer cared, no longer needed him. Why would he need a seventeen almost eighteen year old high school senior when you could be with someone older, someone more mature, but most importantly someone there.

Blaine wanted to be there, he really did, he just had to get through senior year first. They had it all planned out they would stay in touch, they would stay connected, they would survive. It was only going to be a year, they could handle a year in their sleep; they love each other that much. They could make this work.

The bad part was, he was the one who pushed Kurt to go. He hated seeing him work for the Lima Bean, putting up with snarky customers like Kitty, who lived to make people feel small, if she could make you feel small she felt so much better about herself.

He hated it when Kurt showed up at school at the beginning of his senior year, not that he didn’t want to see him, not that he was embarrassed for him to be there, just Blaine knew it was killing Kurt, and that was killing him, that he wasn’t in New York where he was meant to be. He wasn’t supposed to be in Lima, he was meant for New York.

Thinking back on it now he wonders how things would have turned out if he had just kept his mouth shut. Kurt was going to wait for him, but he had known deep down what that would have done to him, so he did the least selfish thing he had ever done and convinced Kurt to go on to New York, he would be there in a year after all, they would be fine.

That was before he stopped talking to him, stopped returning calls; for all intents and purposes as far as Blaine felt before he had stopped caring. Blaine was tired of feeling sad, tired of feeling lonely, tired of sitting home every night waiting on a phone call that never came, he was tired of feeling numb, and he just wanted to feel again, so he had done something stupid. He had gone out with someone else. He felt like he no longer had a place in Kurt’s life, that he had given up on him, on them.

He had gone over and met Eli that was a big mistake. He had really enjoyed the kissing at first; it had been 2 months since the last time he had been able to kiss Kurt, longer since he had been able to do anything else.

He had enjoyed it when they had stripped off their clothes started really making out, skin on skin; he especially enjoyed it when he crawled on top of Eli straddling his hips and started grinding down on him.

He had enjoyed it up until the point he was about to screw Eli’s brains out, condom on, and lube in hand, but he couldn’t do it. Kurt was the only one he was ever supposed to make love to, no, this wasn’t making love but still, it wasn’t supposed to happen with anyone but Kurt. He stood up, ripped the condom off, put his clothes back on, and said he was sorry, he had to go.

He had almost laughed when Eli had looked at him and asked “is it because I don’t look like my profile picture” he would hope the hell not because Eli’s profile picture had been a lighthouse. Yes he liked lighthouses, had at one point talked about getting one with Kurt, but he sure as hell didn’t want to screw one.

But still the minute it happened, the minute he had stepped in Eli’s door, the minute he had let his lips touch Eli’s, it had already gone too far. He knew in his heart that his relationship with Kurt was over. He knew it, and the whole in his heart that had been there since Kurt moved to New York grew bigger.

When Eli had asked him if he wanted to come over he should have just said no, closed his Facebook, and gone on to chess club or one of the million other clubs he had joined to keep his mind off of Kurt.

He had managed to sign up with enough that he was guaranteed at least two club meetings a day. That was all fine while he was still at school, but what about the nights when he had to go home, when he is usually alone because of the way his parents worked.

When he left Eli’s he did the only thing he could do he went home packed a bag, then got on a plane and headed to New York, he had cried during his whole flight knowing what he was about to lose, knowing it was all his fault because of what he had done, and knowing that none of it was worth it.

He had to confess, he had to tell the truth to the love of his life. He had never once lied to Kurt and he couldn’t do it now by omission. He hoped for the best, but prepared for the worst and unfortunately that is what he got.

When his plane touched down at LaGuardia, he got a taxi. Kurt had texted him the address just last week. He was supposed to have come here for a visit, he would have been seeing him in two weeks, two weeks that just yesterday had seemed like a lifetime away, but now in his heart he knew he was already facing a lifetime without him.

He took the elevator and then slowly walked up to his door, putting the confrontation off as long as he could. He knocked on the door and he sees his boyfriend, the person he had lived for, for so long standing there with a shocked look on his face, before it broke into a smile and then he was in his arms, kissing him.

“Blaine I hadn’t expected you for two more weeks” he said kissing him again

“I know, but I just needed to see you, I have really missed you,” Blaine says pulling him back into is arms wanting to hold him just a few more minutes. Knowing deep down this would be one of the last times he could. For so long he had lived for Kurt, how was he supposed now live without him.

Blaine saw Rachel and Finn sitting on one of the couches, he said hi to both before turning around to Kurt “Can we go for a walk, I have something I want to talk to you about” Blaine said wanting to do this in private. He knew Rachel would know as soon as Kurt got home, but he wanted to be able to talk, just the two of them.

They walked to Central Park, Blaine holding Kurt’s hand, needing to feel him close for a few more minutes.

“Blaine, you are scaring me, is something wrong, you are acting weird” Kurt stops walking looks at him and Blaine could see tears in those beautiful blue eyes, tears he never meant to cause.

“Kurt,' I love you, I love you with every fiber of my being, you know that right? We have been through so much” Blaine looked at him and had to pull him back in his arms had to kiss him one more time. He needed it like oxygen. He placed his lips on his softly one more time, bringing his hands up to cup his face wishing it wasn’t, but knowing this would be the last time, he would be able to kiss him. He slowly pulled away and saw the tears running down Kurt’s face

“Kurt, I need to tell you something, something I wish I could change but cant. Yesterday, when I kept trying to call you, I had something important I needed to talk to you about. You said you would call me back and you didn’t.”

“I am not trying to put this off on you, but I just need to explain myself. Kurt my grandfather died yesterday morning. I needed to talk to you if not as my boyfriend then at least as my best friend. I just needed to talk to someone and since you are my boyfriend and best friend I was out of options. I messed up, I kissed someone else, I just needed to feel again. I have never cheated on you before, never even wanted to but yesterday I was devastated. I am so, so sorry can you please forgive me” Blaine said tears running down his face

His worst fear was realized when Kurt pulled away from him “I’m sorry Blaine, I am sorry about your grandfather I am, but that didn’t give you the right to cheat on me, I trusted you, I believed in you” Kurt said hiccupping so choked up

“Please Kurt, please don’t do this, don’t end us, I need you,” Blaine begged crying so hard his whole body was shaking. “I forgave you Kurt, I forgave you when you were texting Chandler, I forgave you, why can’t you forgive me. I messed up, but please Kurt please, I love you so much, please don’t do this, I can’t lose you, I need you Kurt please.

“You said you wouldn’t ever bring that up again” Kurt said wrapping his arms around himself

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, but please, please forgive me give me a chance. I can’t lose you Kurt, please, you are all I have.”

“I’m sorry Blaine, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this, I can’t be with you right now, I love you I do, but I just can’t right now. I just can’t” Kurt said crying even harder; looking at Blaine with the saddest eyes he had ever seen.

"Please don't do this Kurt, please don't do this" Blaine said with tears running down his face.

Kurt just looks at him and whispers "That’s just it Blaine I didn't do this, you did. Goodbye Blaine” Kurt said shaking his head before turning around and running off, taking Blaine’s heart with him.

Blaine stood there in the middle of Central Park devastated, he had just lost the one person he loved most in this world, what was he supposed to do now. Kurt had just said the one thing to him he had promised he never would, he had said goodbye. He slowly slid down to his knees and put his head in his hands and completely broke down. He had just lost everything; he had just lost his world.

That night he checked into a motel room and cried himself to sleep. The next morning he was on a plane, heading home. He missed school that day and really couldn’t bring himself to care. Nothing matters anymore, his reason for getting up in the morning was gone.

A/N: Song lyrics in this chapter is Barely Breathing by Duncan Sheik


	2. Shooting Star

Blaine got back into life the best he could. He still hurt but everyday he tried to move on. He was almost there, he had gotten to where when he woke up, and he didn’t automatically wish he could die, because in the beginning that is all he had felt. How could he continue to live when there was nothing left to live for?

The first week he texted Kurt several times just to apologize, tell him over and over just how sorry he was, but never got a response of any kind, so Friday morning he sent his last text. “I love you Kurt; I love you more and more every day. I won’t bother you anymore. If you ever feel like talking you have my number. I will always be here because I will never say goodbye to you. Yours always, today, tomorrow forever Blaine”

When he hit send he cried, that was it. It was done, he almost expected some kind of response because Kurt had first been his friend, but apparently he couldn’t even be that for him anymore.

Tina and Sam really helped him out, they stepped in and gave him a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to

“Blaine, we have all been there, we have all gone through break ups before, I know it sucks, I am not even going to pretend it doesn’t hurt, but everyday it will get a little better, every day the pain will lessen a little more, and one day you will be able to smile again.” Sam said wrapping his arm across Blaine’s shoulders

“Sam is right, it does get easier. I am not saying that it will just go away, but the pain does lessen. Me and Mike were together longer than you and Kurt. No, I am not saying our love was better, or stronger, but I know how you feel.”

“When Mike decided we needed to take a break, needed see if we really belonged together. I am not going to lie, I screamed, I cried, I threw things, and honestly thought I wasn’t going to make it. But every day I forced myself to get out of bed. Forced myself to take a shower and get dressed, basically forced myself to live. I kept doing this until one day I realized I didn’t have to force myself anymore” Tina said, placing her arm across Blaine’s shoulders from the other side.

That day was the first day he made it all the way through all his classes without once breaking down. He went home, sat down to dinner with his parents and did his homework. That was also the first day he pulled out his keyboard since the breakup. He had lost all interest in a lot of things, music being one of those things. It had played such a big part of his and Kurt’s relationship. They were always singing together, either in choir or in the car going on a date.

He had lived for Saturday nights. That was the night he always had Kurt to himself that was their date night. They would go out to eat, sometimes a movie, but his happiest times were spent with just him and Kurt snuggled up on the couch at either his house or the Hummel’s, watching musicals, singing or just talking about their future, what they would do when they both graduated NYADA.

Blaine sat on his bed with the keyboard in front of him, and just started playing random tunes, whatever went through his mind. Before he even realized it, he had a melody, and then words starting running through his head. He quickly grabbed his notebook and a pen and started writing the words down. Before he realized what he had done, he had written his first song. He named it “Forever and Always” knowing that it had been written for Kurt.

He knew no matter what happened if they ever got back together, or stayed broken up he would love Kurt Forever and Always. No one else would ever be able to fill that hole in his heart, only his Kurt.

That song became his happy place. He recorded it and downloaded it to his phone, that way whenever he needed it he could play it, and while it was playing, he could almost forget that he was sad, he could almost forget that he was no longer part of an US. 

“Blaine, I have something I need to tell you” Tina said when he had walked up and saw her and Sam whispering Monday morning. He had instantly known something was wrong, by the look on both of their faces

“What is going on Tina” Blaine asked almost afraid to ask, he didn’t know if he wanted to hear what she was about to say

“I talked to Santana Saturday. I’m sorry Blaine; she told me that Kurt is seeing someone, a British guy named Adam. She said he was twenty and that they really seemed to be getting close. She wanted me to tell you, because Kurt is apparently planning on coming home next Saturday and will be bringing Adam home with him. She didn’t want you to run into them and be shocked. She thought it would be better to warn you.” Tina said looking at him, knowing how this would hit him

And just like that there went Blaine’s happy place. They had been broken up just over a month, and Kurt was already seeing someone else, and Blaine was just now learning to breathe again.

“Thanks Tina” Blaine said, he actually managed to say that without his voice breaking. “Umm I have a really bad headache, could you tell Mr. Shue I will see him tomorrow” Blaine said before turning around, running down the hall, out the door and managed to get to his car right before he fell apart.

In the back of his mind he has to wonders how long Adam has been in the picture, how long have they been seeing each other, it must be getting really serious if he was already bringing him home to meet Burt. His heart broke a little bit more that day.

Instead of heading straight home, he stopped at Hummel Tire and Lube. He wanted to talk to Burt one more time. He had gotten really close to him during the time he had dated Kurt. He had been like a father to him, but he knew that if Kurt was bringing someone home, he needed to back off.

“What are you up to kiddo, I didn’t think you would be out of school yet” Burt said looking at him. He had spent enough time around Blaine to know he wasn’t ok, he looked like at any second he would break apart.

“I just wanted to come by and talk to you for a minute” Blaine said not able to look at him, it finally hit Blaine today, that when he lost Kurt he lost Burt and Carol as well. How could he keep them in his life when he had lost Kurt, and the hits just keep coming.

“I meant to call you a few weeks ago, Kurt told me your grandfather died” Burt said waiting for Blaine to say what he came here to say, ask what he had come here to ask. Hating that he was going to have to confirm for him something that he knew Blaine already knew and knowing how bad it was going to hurt him.

Kurt had told him about Blaine kissing another guy. Burt had been really upset about it, until Kurt went on to tell him, that to be honest he had been seeing someone else already, they had been going out for a while, almost since he had moved to New York. Kurt had planned on waiting for Blaine to come for a visit and he was going to tell him about it and then break up with him.

Burt loved his son and always would, but he was ashamed of him. Kurt had thought it was ok to let Blaine walk away hurt, thinking that he was the one that caused the break up, when in actuality Kurt had done far worse. Blaine had kissed a guy once and had felt so guilty he had flown to New York to tell him about it, Kurt had been dating this other guy for almost 2 months before that and hadn’t said a word.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here, I won’t bother you anymore” Blaine whispered turning around and started walking back out to his car.

“I know why you are here Blaine, I honestly wish I could tell you what you apparently heard wasn’t true, but it is. He is seeing someone else. Im sorry son, I really am. I honestly figured you guys would be broken up for a few weeks and then be back together, I never expected this.” Burt said in a sad voice wishing he could be saying something different, knowing Blaine deserved the truth, but couldn’t be the one to tell him.

“Thank you for being honest with me sir, and still being willing to talk to me after what I did” Blaine said tears filling his eyes, his shoulders shaking from trying to hold it together, and not cry in front of Burt. He held it together until Burt pulled him into his strong arms, and then he completely lost it, Burt stood there holding him until his tears finally stopped.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me sir its Burt. Blaine you are like a son to me, I will always be here to talk to you, please don’t ever think otherwise. If you need anything call me.” Burt said pulling him back into a hug smacking him on his back, before watching him turn around and walk out the door.

He had looked forward to Blaine being his son one day. He had known in his heart that him and Kurt would one day marry, that they were two people that would make it for the long haul. He never figured on Kurt doing what he did. Pulling away, pushing Blaine to do something Burt knows he never would have any other way.

oOoOo “Ok, everyone let me have your attention; I want to go over our set list for Regionals, since Blaine was voted the new Rachel at the beginning of the year we know he gets one of the solo’s, but I am wanting to have one more. I want your opinion on……..”

All of a sudden there were gunshots ringing in the air, footsteps running down the halls, doors slamming and people screaming. Mr. Shue and Coach Beast ran to the doors and quickly shut and locked them making sure everyone got to the middle wall were they would be safer. They stayed there huddled together for 2 hours, crying holding each other not knowing what was going on, if they were all going to die.

The world as they knew it ended with the sound of that gunshot. Their lives would never be the same, yes they all lived, they all survived but at what cost.

One by one they pulled out their cell phones to call their families. Blaine got his mom’s voice mail “Mom, I don’t know if you have heard yet, but there was a school shooting today. We are hiding in the choir room. We are ok. I just wanted to call you and let you know that I love you, Dad and Cooper very much. I want to thank you for everything you have done for me, for loving me unconditionally. I love you mom so, so much. Please tell dad and Cooper I love them.”

When the police finally walked them outside, the first person he saw was Burt. He ran straight to him and into his waiting arms, he held him tight making Blaine feel almost safe again. He stepped slightly away from him to thank him and saw his mom running from her car, his dad right behind her. They ran up to him and pulled him into their arms and just held him crying.

“Blaine baby, are you ok. I was so worried, I heard the news, and then saw you had called. Blaine sweetheart I am so sorry I missed your call. If that had been the last time…..”

That was the last thing she was able to say before she was pulling him back into a tight hug and breaking down, kissing his cheek, rubbing his back and the back of his hair. His dad right there, holding on to both of them, crying with relief that his son was ok. If he had lost him, he couldn’t have survived it. He knew they hadn’t really been that close, but lately they had been building that bridge, finding common ground again.

He told Burt goodbye and then was being led toward his dad’s car and was heading home. They spent most of Saturday just holding each other crying, and then a big part of Sunday arguing.

“Blaine this isn’t up for debate. You’re transferring back to Dalton on Tuesday. Monday we will drive you to McKinley, let you clean out your locker and tell your friends goodbye. I’m sorry son I really am, but we can’t let you stay there anymore, that just proved to us you aren’t safe.” His dad finally said getting aggravated. They had been “discussing” this for over an hour and they weren’t backing down.

“But I am senior class president, what about my friends, what about Tina and Sam” Blaine asks already knowing he was fighting a losing battle. Until he was eighteen, his parents were in charge. He knows they are only trying to protect him, but he had already lost so much this year, he didn’t know if he could handle losing more.

“They can come here, or you can go to them on the weekend, but you are leaving that school Blaine, you are going back where you belong” His mom said before turning around and walking away, ending the discussion.

He was transferred that next Monday away from Tina and Sam, the two people who had kept him sane after the breakup. They had become two of his best friends. They still talked on the phone and hung out, but it wasn't like it used to be, their innocence had been taken away that day all with the firing of a gun.

That had disturbed him, but what had hurt him the most was that he had really thought that after the shooting, Kurt would have called, that he would have called to check on him. He had to have heard about the shooting at McKinley, Burt had been there and it had been on national news for days, and yet he didn’t call, it was almost like he didn't care if Blaine was hurt, or even dead. He died a little inside that day.

Yes he had messed up, he had cheated, but he had apologized for it. He had begged Kurt to forgive him, to give him, them a second chance, but he had ended it. He thinks back to when Kurt had been texting Chandler his senior year, Blaine could have refused to forgive him, but he had loved Kurt so much, he could have done nothing different, he could never have walked away.

But if he _ had _ broken up with him over it, because to be honest he had been mad enough and hurt enough to; If he had heard anything about the possibility of Kurt being hurt, he would have been there whether he was angry or not, he would have been there.

In that moment he realizes it was truly over, _ they _ were over. Up until that moment he had almost deluded himself into believing that they could be fixed, their relationship could be put back together, _ they _ could somehow get back together, make it work; now he knew just how wrong he had been.

Kurt no longer cared. He had Adam, what did he need with a high school senior, what could Blaine possibly offer Kurt that Adam couldn't. Adam was older, Adam was more mature, and the worst of all Adam was there...

That day he broke a promise he had made to himself. He had promised himself he would never text Kurt again, right after they broke up, Blaine had texted Kurt several times apologizing to him, begging him to give him a second chance, but he didn’t get any type of acknowledgement or response so he promised himself never again, he wasn't going to keep putting himself out there only to be disappointed again.

This would be the last time. "Kurt, I know you are upset with me, I know how badly I hurt you, but I honestly thought you would have cared enough to at least call to check on the person you once said was your "best friend". Don’t worry, you will never hear from me again after this; but after hearing about the school shooting how could you not have called or texted or emailed me just to see if I was ok.

“How could you not have called to check on how I was handling the nightmares that had me waking up screaming every night? I guess you really are done. Did you ever really care, or was I just a distraction to get you through school, so you could move on to bigger better things. Like I said you will never hear from me again.”

“I love you Kurt, now as much as I ever did, but I can't keep doing this, caring for someone who apparently doesn't care about me. I was supposed to have been at least your friend, you once called me your best friend, or was that all a lie?”

“Looking back, I sometimes wish I could redo us. Go back to the day we met, the day I was walking down the stairs, the day you reached out and touched my hand, because that is what started the beginning of us. I don't regret us, I just regret the pain. I regret the hurt caused by both of us. I don’t regret us per se, just where we ended up, how we ended. I honestly think if I could go back I would, but instead of turning around, talking to you, I would just keep walking, who knows….

“I really hope you enjoy your life Kurt, that everything works out the way you have always wanted it too. Enjoy your life Kurt..." he then hit send and deleted Kurt's contact information from his phone. yes, he would always still remember the number, but he would never have to look at it in his phone again.

oOoOo

Blaine had been accepted at NYADA, he had applied right before him and Kurt had broken up, he figured he would wait until he either got in or was denied before he made his decision to go. He almost sent the letter back saying thank you for the opportunity, but he was going to decline. The more he thought about it the more he decided he wanted to go. They had one of the best musical theory departments in the U.S., he would be stupid to pass it up because of Kurt.

No, he was going to go and he was going to kick ass in that school. In that moment something changed in Blaine. When he had first transferred to Dalton from Carson, after things had gone so violently wrong, he had learned to take care of himself, he learned how to survive, be strong, he found himself. In dating Kurt he had lost some of that. He had let the love he felt for Kurt guide him, change him. It was time to find _ HIM _ again

Blaine got his letter and ran to his mom’s office, “Mom, I got in, I got NYADA” Blaine said with a big smile on his face

“Blaine, I am so proud of you, I know how much you wanted that” Pam said standing up and giving him a hug

“Thanks Mom” Blaine said with a smile hugging her back “I thank it’s time for a change” he said kissing her on the cheek.

“What do you have in mind” she said laughing looking at her youngest son

“Well, I think it is time to change things up. I am going to be going to New York, I am thinking new wardrobe, new hairstyle the works” Blaine said laughing. He hadn’t felt this free in a long time, he wanted something completely different than the way he dressed around Kurt, he wanted to shake off the identity of Kurt Hummel’s boyfriend and find Blaine Anderson again.

He remembers back before they met, he had felt secure in himself, he had found his place at Dalton, he had learned so much. After he had met Kurt and transferred to McKinley, it was like he had lost himself, he became Kurt’s boyfriend, he had almost lost his own identity.

Yes he still loved Kurt, would do anything to be part of his life, but it was time to stop putting his life on hold waiting for something that was never going to happen. He felt that he needed to reinvent himself in a way.

“We can do that,” Pam says looking at him with a smile. She had been really worried about him since the breakup, if changing his wardrobe, would bring her son back she was all for it.

They went shopping Saturday and Blaine had a ball, he bought blue and black skinny jeans that were actually long enough for him, thinking about some of the clothes he had worn, looking back on it, in a way trying to fit in with Kurt. He stayed away from polo’s and bow ties and got t-shirts and button downs.

Next he went and got a haircut talking to the stylist he found a new way to control his hair without all the gel, it looked so much more natural and felt so much lighter. He loved that he no longer smelled like the raspberry hair gel and could actually run his fingers through his hair without getting them stuck.

That night at dinner his dad really surprised him, they wanted to take him to New York the next weekend and look around for an apartment. They figured if he had his own place, instead of living in the dorm that he would be able to study more.

“Blaine me and your mom are really proud of you; getting early admittance to that school is something special. You should really be able to do something with yourself graduating from there. We want to buy you an apartment, to let you know how very proud of you we are.” Michael said standing up and hugging him. Things had changed between them after the shooting, they had gotten closer, realizing how quickly they could have lost each other.

When Blaine got home from school Friday, him and his parents head to New York, his dad had been working with a real-estate agent all week, letting her know what area they were interested in. They wanted one in a good location and as close to the school as possible. They looked at four different apartments before they found the one. It was a two bedroom, two baths and about five blocks away from NYADA.

Blaine loved how from the living room windows you could look down and see central park. He could already tell he was going to love it here. He was given the keys that day and could start moving in at any time. Blaine had a little over a month before graduation, so that would give him plenty of time to get it set up the way he wanted it.

He walked up to his parents and hugged them. “Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate it. I promise I am going to work hard” Blaine said looking at them

“You always do son, we had no doubts” his dad Michael said hugging him

“Also me and your mom have been talking” Michael said pulling a credit card out of his pocket and handing it to him. “I know you have an emergency one, but this one is for setting this place up. We don’t want you to have to use your money. We want you to leave that alone for your future. Get what you want”.

“We know you will be coming back and forth over the next month setting this place up, all we ask is that you keep us informed when you will be leaving and coming back, and even though I know you know this, you need to keep up with your school work, it is almost time for graduation, and you have put too much into it to mess up now.” His dad said looking at him

“I promise dad” Blaine said looking around his new apartment, still not believing they had bought it for him. They got the floor plan from the agent so Blaine would know the sizes of the rooms so he could start getting furniture set up. He loved having a second room, that way if Sam or Tina decide to come visit, he would have a place for them to stay. He knows that Sam has been having a hard time lately, him and Mercedes had spit up. She had decided to concentrate more on her musical career and less on her high school boyfriend.

One by one all the glee club relationships had ended, none had survived. He had heard from Tina that Brittany and Santana had even broken up. They had always said their glee club was jinxed, they just didn’t realize how badly.

oOoOo

Blaine spends the next couple of weekends in New York, getting his apartment set up, buying furniture, setting up his kitchen the way he wanted it. He met a few people while walking around, he stopped by NYADA and was able to get his class schedule and familiarize himself with the school, a few of the people he talked too would actually been in a few of his classes. It was nice that he would be starting classes already knowing a few people that was a plus.

Blaine was glad that Dalton and McKinley’s graduations were set on different days, he wanted to be at McKinley cheering Sam and Tina as they walk across the stage next week, and they in turn wanted to be there to see him graduate from Dalton.

He had always had big dreams of his high school graduation, his parents and boyfriend setting there together, looking on with pride as he walked across the stage to get his diploma, well at least he will have his parents and two best friends.

Graduation day for Blaine came and he had to admit, if only to himself, he felt disappointed. He had almost convinced himself that Kurt would be there, he would come to his graduation if nothing more than to see his friend walk across the stage, see him achieve something he had been working his life for. But once again he was disappointed.

That day, Blaine decided this would be the last time. He knows he had promised himself that before, but no more. He was better off without Kurt, everyone else knew that, it was time he did as well. One Hummel was there that day though to see his big day, Burt was sitting in the audience sitting by his parents cheering him on.

He went to see Sam and Tina walk across the stage standing up and cheering loud as they walked across the stage, proud of his friends. He had really missed them since transferring back to Dalton, laughingly thinking about the Super Hero’s Club, wishing that Night Bird, Blonde Chameleon, and Asian Persuasion, could have had one more run, but childhood was over, it was time to face the rest of his life, and he was finally ready.

He had everything that he would be taking with him to New York packed and it was going to be delivered in two days, his suitcases were packed, he was ready. Time to get his new life started.

oOoOo

Blaine started NYADA the next Monday. So far he liked his classes, and the teachers. He spent some time before class, meeting some of the other students. Blaine noticed there were quite a few cute guys in his class and he caught of few of them checking him out. That really helped his confidence that had taken a big hit with everything that happened with Kurt.

He was on his way to his second class of the day when he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning around he saw a really cute guy smiling at him.

“Hi, my name is Adam. I have been watching you since you walked in the door before class, and that wasn’t meant to sound stalkerish at all” he said laughing

“Hi, my name is Blaine, nice to meet you” he said and meant it

“Would you be interested in going with me to get a cup of coffee, and maybe get to know each other” he said looking at Blaine

“Yea that would be nice” Blaine answered, this guy was super cute, and Blaine loved the accent

They spent an hour talking over coffee. They found out that they really had a lot in common, especially their taste in music that had Blaine laughing. When Adam asked him if he would be interested in going out with him that night, Blaine said yes. He wasn’t used to this, having someone ask him out. He had always been the one to do the asking. It was nice that someone had asked _ him _.

Blaine was smiling when he walked into his next class, he had a date tonight and he was really looking forward to it. He pulled out his notebook and books and got ready for class to begin. He had chosen one of the back row seats, wanting to get the feel of the class before sitting up front.

This was one of his elective classes. Theater readiness wasn’t one of the ones he needed for his core major, but it seemed like it would be fun. He was sitting there looking around at everyone, when he got the biggest shock of his life, there, walking in the door was Kurt, and he looked different. Gone was the smile that could light up the room and the over the top clothes. He had changed so much, he didn’t really look like the same person.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of him, even after being broken up for seven months Kurt still had the ability to make his heart flutter, and realize just how very much he was still in love with him. He knew right away that Kurt didn’t see him, he just walked in, sat in a seat, and didn’t look at anyone around him, just sat with his head down.

When the teacher started talking, Blaine took his attention away from Kurt and watched her, but in the back of his mind he was thinking that he was glad he had taken time with his looks today. He looked nothing like he did when he was still going to McKinley, gone were the wild color choices and bow ties, today he was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a tan button down and his favorite pair of Jimmy Choo's. From the way he was being stared at by several guys in the room, he felt like he was looking his best.

“Ok everyone, this is going to be a get to know you kind of class.” She said looking around at everyone. She started calling off different students names and asking them what their favorite song types were, and then giving them almost the opposite.

“Kurt Hummel” she called.

“I lean more towards show tunes” He answered her

“Ok then for you” she said looking at the list in front of her “how about some Katie Perry or Pink”

Blaine almost laughed that was his favorite types of songs, and he knew that Kurt wasn’t really a fan.

“Blaine Anderson” she said looking around the room, and she wasn’t the only one. Blaine noticed Kurt’s head whip around and just stare at him

“Katy Perry, or Pink” Blaine answered her, now staring at the back of Kurt head

“Ok for you Mr. Anderson I want you to pick a song from Little Big Town. It can be any song you choose.

She went through the rest of the room, calling out students names and assigning them a song or group to pick from that they would sing for the class. She was giving them four days before the assignment was due, and he had no clue. He had never even heard of the group before. He was putting his books and things back in his bag getting ready for his next class, when he saw Kurt make a b-line for the door.

Damn, was he that afraid that he was going to talk to him. Blaine had not planned on it anyway, but for him to have acted like that makes Blaine mad. So much for friends and all that, but he isn’t going to let that ruin his day. He ended up having three more classes with Kurt. Two of them he got there before Kurt, but the last one Kurt beat him.

Blaine walked in talking to Alan, a man he had met in his last class, they really hit it off, and he had even asked Blaine out for that night, he unfortunately told him he already had a date for tonight, but could he get a rain check. Blaine didn’t really know how to act, he had never been hit on so much in one day. That was two different men asking him out. He had no idea where it was coming from.

Blaine went to his apartment after school and did some research on Little Big Town before Adam was due to pick him up for their date. Country, why would she have picked country for him he asked himself as he walked to his bedroom to get ready.

He had a really good time. Adam took him to a really nice Italian restaurant, and then a walk through central park. On the walk back to Blaine’s apartment, Adam reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Thanks for going out with me tonight Blaine, I really had a good time and I hope we can do it again,” Adam said looking into Blaine’s eyes

“Thank you for dinner. I really had a good time as well, and I would like to go out again” Blaine said with a smile on his face, Adam slowly pulls him closer and then Blaine watches as Adam slowly lowers his head and gives him one of the softest kisses he had ever had. He walks Blaine the rest of the way to his door, places another light kiss on his lips, and then smiles and tells him good night. 

Blaine decides he could get used to that. It was nice having someone taking him out for a change, and Adam was really nice and sweet. He smiles as he walks into his apartment, shuts and locks the door

They met for coffee the next day, and went out for dinner again the night after that, he was really starting to like Adam. The next morning they met for coffee again.

“Ok, let’s play question and answer” Adam said laughing looking at Blaine, holding his hand as they walked from the coffee shop to the one class they had together

“Ok, that doesn’t sound scary at all” Blaine laughed.

“Ok, skeletons in your closet, or exes in your pantry” Adam said looking at him

“I don’t understand the question” Blaine said even though he thinks he does

“ Tell me about your last boyfriend and I will tell you about mine. No names of course to protect the innocent” He said laughing again

“Ooookkkk, well my last boyfriend was my high school sweetheart. We met during my sophomore year in high school, he was a Junior. We started off as friends but were boyfriends by the end of the year. I went to a school called Dalton Academy, I was the lead soloist for our glee club and he had come to spy on us” Blaine said laughing, remembering how Kurt had tried and failed to match their uniforms

“He ended up transferring schools because of an issue he was having so he came to Dalton for a few months before transferring back to McKinley. By then we were a couple so the next year I followed him. It was really good, we managed to have more classes together plus we both got to be in the New Directions together, that was the name of our old glee club.”

“We knew he was coming to New York and I would be following the next year, we had it worked out that we would skype at night or on nights we couldn’t that we would talk on the phone, but things didn’t work out as planned. He stopped calling me about two weeks after getting here and stopped returning my calls or texts.”

“I was stupid and I kissed someone else, I cheated on him and when I told him he broke up with me. We had been together for almost two years, and then he is in New York just under two months and we were broken up.” Blaine said looking at him

“Wow, sounds like a jerk, sorry” Adam says squeezing Blaine’s hand.

“Ok, my turn. My last boyfriend and I met his first week at NYADA, and we started dating the next week. He was really funny, even though he had a strange obsession with clothes. It used to bother me, because he would get a lot of texts and phone calls that he would ignore, it made me think he might be seeing someone else.”

“He was also very high maintenance, who ever his last boyfriend was apparently spoiled him. He wanted to spend every day together, talk hours on the phone and I usually didn’t have that kind of time. But, I have to admit he was really good in bed” Adam said laughing

“Wait, did you say McKinley and the New Directions” He asked Blaine not noticing just how quiet he had gotten “You might have known him, he was from Lima, and was in the New Directions. Did you know a Kurt Hummel” Adam said looking at Blaine

“Yes, I knew him” Blaine said quietly. Adam, this was Kurt’s Adam and he was calling Kurt his ex. “We were in the glee club together” Was all Blaine said, feeling sick to his stomach.

“Aaahh then you would understand why I had to break up with him. He wanted to always be together, and he used to say things like “_He_” didn’t have a problem with it and “_He_” always liked spending time with him. He never told me who “_He_” was but let me tell you I could happily kick _his_ ass” Adam said laughing

Blaine stood there in shock. He had felt so upset when he cheated on Kurt with that kiss, he had gotten on a plane so he could face Kurt and confess. Kurt had broken up with him, had left Blaine in Central Park broken and crying because he had just ruined everything, when all along he had already been seeing Adam, had started seeing him within two weeks of meeting him, and never said a word. His were the texts and phone calls Adam talked about Kurt ignoring.

Blaine slowly pulled his hand out of Adams, he needed to get away from him, feeling like the seven months since him and Kurt had broken up had only been seven days, feeling the pain of betrayal. Kurt had cheated on him and hadn’t had the decency to tell him. Before Blaine could walk away he saw Kurt walking towards him and the look on his face was priceless.

"You two know each other?" he whispered

"Well... hi there Kurt, me and Adam here were having a really nice conversation I had just told him about my ex breaking up with me because I kissed someone else, about a month and a half after he moved to New York, and then Adam told me how he had met his ex. How they had started dating 2 weeks after he moved here from Lima. It's a really interesting story Kurt you should listen to it sometime” Blaine said looking at him, realizing he didn’t really know Kurt, and wondered if he ever had.

"Blaine, I can explain" Kurt whispered looking at Blaine

"Keep telling yourself that Kurt, have a wonderful day" he says turning around and walking away.

"Kurt was your ex wasn't he" Adam asked running to catch up with him looking at Blaine, realizing what he had just told him

"Yup" is all Blaine said before turning around and walking away.

Blaine was quiet the rest of the day, he attended his classes, but couldn’t tell you anything that was discussed. After everything Adam had said, it felt like the break up happened all over again. All the time he had beaten himself up for hurting Kurt, for cheating on him, Kurt had been seeing someone else.

He knew in that moment that that was the last time he would ever worry about Kurt. He was going to live his life for himself beginning now. He had just walked past an empty class room when Kurt grabbed his hand and pulled him into it.

“Did you come to NYADA to mess with me because I broke up with you?” Kurt asked in his accusing voice that he had perfected years ago

“No Kurt I had my application filled out and sent in before we broke up, you should know that, you were with me when I did it, it was the last weekend we were together remember you were at my house.” Blaine said as he pulled Kurt close to him, leaned over and whispered in his ear

“Remember that day, it was the last time we made love. Were you already sleeping with him sweetheart, was he good in bed?” Blaine asked in a soft voice, blowing warm air into his ear, the way he knew always turned Kurt on.

“He must not have been judging by how you begged me for it. Not that I hadn’t already planned on making love to you anyway, but you just begged so prettily remember sweetheart”, Blaine said reaching his hands down to Kurt’s ass pulling him close, feeling how hard Kurt was.

Kurt leaned in like he was going to kiss him and then realized what he was doing and pulled out of Blaine’s arms and ran away.

Blaine watched him leave, only then realizing his mistake, because yes he might have purposely turned Kurt on, but in doing so he turned himself on as well.

“I miss you” Blaine whispered shaking his head watching as Kurt walked away, turning he walked into his next class.

By the time he was in his Theater Readiness class next, he was ready; he found the perfect song to sing. 

_I know I'm probably better off on my own_   
_Than loving a man who didn't know what he had when he had it_   
_And I see the permanent damage you did to me_   
_Never again, I just wish I could forget when it was magic._

Blaine continued to play, letting his feelings come out with every word he sang

_I know I'm probably better off all alone_   
_Than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute_   
_And it's always on your terms; I'm hanging on every careless word_   
_Hoping it might turn sweet again like it was in the beginning_

It took everything in him to keep singing that song, because even though he acted like he didn't care, like finding out the truth didn't kill him inside it did. Kurt, his Kurt had cheated and thought it was ok to walk away, leaving Blaine feeling broken, thinking he was the one who had destroyed them, instead of just admitting what he had done, and that he wanted to end it.

_You push my love away like it's some kind of loaded gun_   
_Boy, you never thought I'd run_

_Sometimes in the middle of the night I can feel you again_   
_And I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man_   
_And I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand_   
_I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man_

_A Better Man_

“Who was that song for Blaine” Alan asked him when he was done. Every person in the room hearing the emotions in Blaine’s voice

“Oh, just somebody that I used to know” He said standing up and walking back to his seat, sitting down, he then watches as Kurt gets up and runs out the door.

A/N: The song in this chapter is Little Big Town's - Better Man.

In every book I have written except What Kind Of Fool, Blaine has been the one who cheats. This time I decided it should be Kurt, yes Blaine did cheat by kissing Eli, but Kurt already had as well. I remember in one of the episodes Sue had called Will, Weepy The Vest Clown, for some reason in season 4 I started thinking of Blaine that way. He changed from the strong person he was while he was at Dalton into Weepy The Vest Clown. That is how my first chapter started, but Blaine will get his fire back, he becomes the Dalton Blaine again. As always, this will be a Klaine fic. I just always seem to have to make them go through things to get there. Thanks for reading and the reviews, they help more than you know


	3. Floral Apologies

oOoOo

A/N: Thank you for the reviews on both Fanfiction and AO3. I am glad you like my story. I want to thank the guest reviewer that I couldn’t message directly to say thank you, unfortunately as a guest it doesn’t give a reply link but thank you so much. Thanks to Catcat85, TheresaG, JayhawkWrites, and Pandas.Mom for always reviewing my stories. T.B.

oOoOo

Blaine was starting to have second, third, and fourth thoughts about coming to NYADA. He thought he could do it. Not the work, the school work was no problem at all, he was loving it, loving the college experience. It was seeing Kurt multiple times a day. He had thought his anger would be enough, so seeing him wouldn’t hurt, he was so wrong, because it hurt like hell.

On top of that there was Adam, who he now ran into all the time. Not that he really cared anything about Adam, he had really enjoyed the time they spent together, but the thought of him being with Kurt, hearing the way he had talked about him, knowing that they had been intimate, had made it impossible to be with him.

The bad thing was deep down he knew that if Kurt would apologize and mean it, he would take him back. He missed him that much. He after all he had cheated too, he might not have gone as far as Adam said Kurt did, but he had been right there. He had been ready, they had both been naked and Blaine had been enjoying himself, he had taken the time to prep Eli, he had even had the condom on, but just couldn’t go through with it, he couldn’t take that next step with anyone but Kurt.

Kurt was supposed to be it, the only person he should ever be with, so even though he had been sooo ready to move forward with Eli, he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t take that step; to completely ruin something that meant the world to him.

So Blaine kept going, kept going to classes, kept doing his school work, and kept hanging out with his new friends. He joined a few study groups, and a few clubs, basically the same thing he had done last year to keep his mind off of Kurt.

Blaine is talking to a group of people that was in his Theater readiness class, their teacher had assigned a massive amount of homework for them to do and suggested for them to set up a few study groups to share the work.

“Well if you guys are interested, I don’t live far from here and we can get together, and study and knock some of this stuff out” Blaine said

“That actually sounds like a good idea, I am in” Alan said smiling at Blaine. He would pretty much agree to anything if it got him more time with Blaine.

“Ok, if you want to give us your address, we can meet you there. I need to go and get some papers from my dorm that might help with the homework she assigned” Sara agreed

“That works for me too, I could really use the help since I have been loaded down this semester with homework. I don’t remember ever getting this much stuff to do the first few weeks of classes before. Aanndd since you are the one hosting, this little soiree Blaine, I can stop on the way over and grab some snacky type things.” Annie said laughing, and maybe flirting with him a little. She thought Blaine was hot.

“Ok, that sounds like a plan. Say around 5?” Blaine asked

“Works for me” Alan said with a smile accepting the paper Blaine had passed each of them with his address on it. One by one they all agreed.

“Are you guys starting a study group, I would like to join if you are” Kurt quietly asked walking up to Blaine and the group of people he was talking too.

Kurt was in awe of how quickly Blaine had fit in here. When he had first started classes it hadn’t been that easy for him. Adam was the only one who had really spent time with him outside of class. But Blaine had always fit in, no matter what the situation was. He just had one of those personalities that drew people to him. Kurt should know that better than anyone.

“Oh that's ok Kurt, I understand how busy you are working for Vogue and Cassandra, getting those last minute articles out, don't worry about us, we will be fine without you”. Blaine said picking up his book bag.

“Blaine please!” Kurt said his voice breaking as Blaine was turning around, walking away with the rest of the group.

“_Blaine what Kurt _ ? Now you want to talk to me? I tried to get you to talk to me for two months Kurt, two months in which you ignored me. Two months in which you couldn’t take time away from you busy schedule to answer your damn phone, or return a text. Well guess what _ Kurt _, now… I no longer have time for you” Blaine said turning around and walking away. Not caring how the rest of the group stood there staring between them.

“You promise you would never walk away from me” Kurt yelled at Blaine’s retreating back

Blaine turned around and walked back over to Kurt, looking him in the eyes “And you promised me you would never say goodbye. I guess we both broke promises didn’t we.” Blaine said looking at him, meaning it in more than one way, before turning around and walking away

Blaine was pissed; well beyond pissed that Kurt could say that after everything he had done. After every single call that he had ignored. After not even taking time away from Adam to pick up his phone and check on a friend after a school shooting. What he had said to Kurt was true, now... he no longer had time for him. The sooner he could get over him, the better off he will be. He just hadn’t been able to figure out how to do that yet.

His world had revolved around Kurt for so long, how did he didn’t really know how to start over, to be with someone else, or if he ever would be able to again. Sitting down on his couch waiting for everyone to show up, he contemplated just going home. If his parents hadn’t bought him this apartment, he might actually think about doing it. Blaine wasn’t a quitter, but this was so much more difficult than he ever dreamed possible.

At 4:30 Blaine heard a knock on his door and went to answer it, not really surprised that Alan was the first to arrive. They sat around talking for a while until the other two showed up and then they started working on the presentation that had been assigned to them. Blaine had a good time.

They worked on their project until 9 and then Sara and Annie left, but Alan stayed behind, wanting to spend a little more time alone with Blaine.

“So, you and Kurt huh” Alan asked looking at him

“Yeah we were high school sweethearts” Blaine said looking at him but not wanting to get into anything right now.

“Where you together long” Alan continued

“Two years” was all Blaine would say, 

“Hummm, so you are unattached then right” He asked

“Yes, very much unattached” Blaine just smiled at him

“So, what do I have to do to get you to go out with me” Alan said walking up close to Blaine.

“Humm, maybe this” Blaine said leaning in and placing a kiss on his lips, and before long Alan had taken over, deepening the kiss, and pulling Blaine as close to him as he could get him.

Alan was really starting to like Blaine, they spent a lot of time just talking, but he wanted more. He wanted to take him out, spend time with him and see if they could build on some kind of relationship, and if he was honest he wanted Blaine in his bed.

“So, after class tomorrow, do you want to go have dinner with me? I know a wonderful place not too far away from here that I would love to take you too.” Alan said before kissing him again

“Umm sounds like a plan” Blaine whispered as Alan gently pushed him back against the door and got as close to him as he could, sliding his hands down Blaine’s side and across his ass pulling him closer.

“Oookk I think I need to leave before this goes a whole lot further than we mean for it too” Alan whispered in Blaine’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then” Blaine said looking at Alan, seeing how red and swollen his lips were. Blaine knew it was a good thing that Alan pulled back, because in that moment he wasn’t sure if he could have. 

It was kind of funny, he had been with Kurt for over a year before they ever had sex, but here he was, not even having gone out with Alan the first time, having thoughts of him naked in his bed, writhing under him. Yup it was definitely time to say goodnight.

The next morning Blaine walked into his first class of the day that he shared with Kurt. He walked passed him without even looking at him. He went to his normal seat by Alan. He had, had a really good time with him last night after their study group had broken up, and everyone else had gone home. He had been so turned on it was painful, looking forward to their date tonight.

He looked up when the teacher walked in, and for the first time noticed the vase of yellow and red roses on her desk. It was like a shock to his heart, those were _ their _ flowers, the ones they had always shared. He had sent the last ones when he was trying to get Kurt to forgive him, when he was breaking apart because he had cheated and broken Kurt’s trust. If only he had known.

“Mr. Anderson, you had some flowers delivered for you” Mrs Knight told him

Blaine just sat there staring in shock, feeling as every single person in the room stared at him, especially Alan, not knowing what to do, but he knew he wanted nothing to do with those flowers, hated to even look at them now.

“They look beautiful on your desk Mrs. Knight why don’t you keep them” Blaine said trying to hold his smile.

“Well thank you, do you at least want the card that came with them, so you know who sent them” She asked looking at him in shock. Most people are thrilled to get flowers, especially roses.

“No, that’s ok, just throw it away. I’m sure it doesn’t say anything important” Blaine said refusing to even look at Kurt when he knows he has turned around in his seat to stare at him. Blaine went right back to talking to Alan, like nothing had happened until class started. Trying to act like everything was normal.

When Blaine had found out Kurt had cheated on him, he felt so beyond hurt, he felt destroyed, and then he just gotten mad, mad because Kurt had felt it was ok to leave him suffering, beating himself up for what he had done. Kurt had left him alone in central park after begging for his forgiveness, he had just walked away. Sending him flowers wasn’t going to fix that, not after everything Kurt had done.

The next day in class it was time for Kurt to do his assignment, to sing the song he had chosen. He would be the last one in the class to perform. Blaine had dreaded this moment, knowing Kurt would be standing up in front of the class, in front of him. 

Blaine tried not to look at him but his eyes kept going to him; he had loved him so much, more than he had ever thought it was possible to love someone else. He had given him everything, only to find out his everything wasn’t enough.

Kurt walked to the docking station the teacher had set up for their use, hooked his iPod to it. He then turned around and looked at the group. “I was assigned to do either a P!nk or a Katy Perry song. I chose this song because of the words it says. I hope this helps me say something I really need to, to someone who is so very important to me, someone I really hurt” He then turned around and hit play.

_Right from the start_   
_You were a thief_   
_You stole my heart_   
_And I your willing victim_   
_I let you see the parts of me_   
_That weren't all that pretty_   
_And with every touch you fixed them_

Kurt sang these words looking straight at Blaine, never taking his eyes off of him not caring what every other person in the room might think. He had to find a way to get through to Blaine, a way to make him understand that he knows he messed up, and just wants to find a way to get his forgiveness, and get his love back. He had quickly realized what he had lost; now… he just needed to figure out how to get it back.

_Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh_   
_Things you never say to me, oh, oh_   
_Tell me that you've had enough_   
_Of our love, our love_

_Just give me a reason_   
_Just a little bit's enough_   
_Just a second we're not broken just bent_   
_And we can learn to love again_   
_It's in the stars_   
_It's been written in the scars on our hearts_   
_We're not broken just bent_   
_And we can learn to love again_

Everyone clapped for Kurt; he had done a really good job. Everyone clapped that is except Blaine. There had been a time when he would have clapped the hardest, would have proudly cheered the loudest. He had always been so proud of Kurt and his accomplishments. 

Thinking back to when he had performed for Carmen Tibideaux when he was trying out for NYADA, remembering him in those gold lamé pants that had hugged every one of his beautiful curves.

Blaine had sat in that auditorium with Will Schuester, his heart swelling with pride, watching Kurt perform better than he ever had, cheering him on. But this time he just couldn’t, he just sat there staring at Kurt as he walked back to his seat, Blaine feeling a fresh wave of pain with every step he took. Kurt never once took his eyes off of Blaine, hoping that he had gotten through to him.

“You are so wrong Kurt you are so very wrong, we are broken”. Blaine whispered, not caring that Alan heard it, or saw the tears in Blaine’s eyes, that he was trying so hard to control. This time Blaine stood up and walked out.

What he hadn’t expected was that Kurt would follow him out. Not wanting to have the discussion he knew Kurt wanted to have in the middle of the hallway, he walked into the first empty room he found knowing that Kurt would follow him in. Blaine kept his back to him trying to get his emotions under control, refusing to cry in front of Kurt ever again. He had cried over him enough for a lifetime.

“I never had sex with him Blaine” Kurt whispered looking at him, tears running down his face

“Adam tells a completely different story” Blaine said still keeping his back to him, not wanting to look at him.

“Did you ever think that Adam might have lied? I have done a lot of things Blaine, but I have never once lied to you. Sure I might have kept things from you, I let you think that you were the only reason for our break up and I know how shitty that was, but I have never lied to you ever Blaine” Kurt said staring at his back, just wishing he would turn around.

“Why did you do it Kurt, why did you start with Adam to begin with? You knew I loved you, I was there for you, I would have done anything for you. How could you just throw away what we had like that, like it was nothing” Blaine asked finally turning around, looking at him, and in that instant Kurt wished he hadn’t, because the man standing in front of him wasn’t his Blaine. This man was hard in a way his Blaine never had been, and he knew that was all his fault. He had done this.

“I'm sorry Blaine, I am, and there is no way to say this without hurting you. You were the first person to ever pay attention to me, to want to spend time me with. You made me feel special, important. You gave me courage and self confidence I had never had before. You made me feel worthy of being loved.” 

“When Rachel got to New York she called me all the time, she was so lonely without Finn. He wasn’t calling her that much. She understood, but it didn’t make it any easier. She had only been here like two weeks when she met Brody. You know how she was a McKinley, Finn was her Blaine. He was the only one to ever paid attention to her, he had given _ her _ the confidence to be able to spread her wings and find someone new.”

“Brody sounded amazing when she talked about him. All the fun things they were doing together. Here was another man that liked her. Someone more mature, someone worldlier than Finn, wanting to be with her, take her to places she never would have gone alone. She made it sound so very perfect. I started thinking that maybe there was someone else for me”

Hearing Blaine’s sharp intake of breath he looked at him, and saw the pain in his eyes, the pain he had put there and just wished he could go back and undo everything. Not ignore that first call he ignored. Or said no the first time Adam had asked him out.

“I’m sorry Blaine, but like I was saying you were the only one who ever showed me that I was worth being with, that I was worth spending time with. You made me feel so loved. You made me feel like I could do anything be with anyone I wanted to be with” Kurt said looking at him, hearing for himself just how bad his words sounded.

“So this is my fault Kurt for loving you too much, is that what you are saying to me” Blaine asks softly, not believing what he was hearing.

“God no Blaine, I am just trying to explain” Kurt answered him

“You know Kurt; I would have done anything for you, given anything to be with you. I transferred schools to be with you. I walked away from my friends who had been there for me from the time I transferred in from Carson. People who cared about me, people who helped put ** _me_ ** back together after those boys at that dance tore me apart. I gave that up for you Kurt. I gave up so much of myself for you.”

“I was happy at Dalton; I had finally found my place. You talk about me helping you get your confidence, well Dalton gave _ ME _ mine back. I fit in there like I never fit in anywhere else, like I never did at McKinley even. I loved it at Dalton, but I walked away from it, because you asked me too. I left to be with you, because I loved you that much.”

“And now you stand there saying you knew coming to New York you were going to be looking for something _ better _, like our love wasn’t enough, well you know what, it was enough for me. What I did, I never would have done, but you shut me out, you made me feel like I wasn’t part of your life anymore. You took everything from me Kurt, and you left me with nothing.”

“I know Blaine and I am so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you I really didn’t. I just wanted to try something different. I had always followed the rules, first my dad’s and then yours. I wanted to be me for a while with no one holding me back” Kurt said knowing he wasn’t doing a good job explaining himself

“What rules did I EVER make you follow Kurt, WHAT. The only thing I ever asked you not to do was when you were texting Chandler, and yes I know I promised I would never bring that up again, but that was the only thing I ever asked you to stop doing. So what rules did I make you follow” Blaine asked staring at Kurt, getting more and more upset with every word coming out of his mouth.

“Ok, rules may not have been the best way to say it. I wanted to see what it was like living here in this city, a place where I was normal for once, without having someone holding me back. I wanted to be free to do what I wanted to do, go where I wanted to go. To be free.” Kurt continued

“Ok, so why didn’t you just break up with me Kurt, if I was holding you back. Why did you put me through hell, why did you let me think I was the only one that messed up?” Blaine said shaking his head not believing any of this.

“I was afraid Blaine, I didn’t want to let you go, I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to hold on to you, because as long as you were there I wouldn’t ever be alone. I wanted to date other people, and see if what I had with you was better, or if there was something better for me out there. I wanted to be free to make that choice, but still have you there in case.” Kurt said knowing that was the last thing he should have ever said judging by the look on Blaine’s face.

Blaine walked up to him so his face was inches away from Kurt’s “That is the difference between you and me Kurt, I already knew there was nothing better for me out there, because I had you. So now Kurt I ask you how does it feel, because guess what you are free” Blaine said before turning around and walking out the door without looking back, hearing as Kurt broke down and for the first time in their relationship he just couldn’t bring himself to care.

A/N: Song in this chapter was P!nk’s Not Broken Just Bent


	4. Goodbye

Blaine walked away, still so in shock, still so hurt he could hardly breath. His world had just imploded around him. He walked out of the door of the school and straight to his apartment. He didn’t talk to anyone didn’t want to see anyone he just wanted to go home. It had been bad enough when he found out Kurt had cheated on him, but to find out that he only stayed with him as long as he had because he didn’t want to be alone, he had kept Blaine around because he was safe bet.

He had been home for twenty minutes when he heard a knock on his door. He didn’t want to see or talk to anyone so he almost ignored it but they knocked again. Drying his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths he finally walked over to the door and opened it.

“Are you ok” Alan asked taking one look at Blaine and knowing he wasn’t

“No, I really don’t think I am” Blaine answered him. Shit, he had forgotten he had a date with him tonight.

“Do you want to talk about it” Alan asked softly reaching out and pulling Blaine into a hug, and then Blaine fell apart. Alan managed to step further into the apartment so he could shut the door, never letting Blaine go; he just held him and let him cry it out.

“Well that is embarrassing” Blaine said with a small laugh, when he was finally able to get himself under control “Give me a minute” he said before walking to his bathroom so he could wash his face.

Right as he got to the living room, his phone started ringing; with a small smile at Alan in the way of an apology he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Hello” Blaine answered

“How did you know” Blaine asked with a small laugh. Sam always seemed to know when Blaine was going to need to talk. They had gotten really close their last year of school, even after his parents made him transfer back to Dalton

“Oh yeah, more times than I even want to talk about, I have several classes with him” Blaine answered

“Oh no, he isn’t ignoring me; he bought me our fucking flowers and had them delivered to me in class”

“I know, I know”

“I honestly don’t know Sam. I don’t know what I am going to do”

“I might head home for the weekend”

“You know I will; do you doubt that”

“I need to talk to Burt too”

“Oh yeah it was a mistake, a big mistake. Listen I have someone here, I will touch base with you this weekend and tell you everything. Is Tina home be any chance, I know she is going to want to hear this too, and I can tell you both at the same time.” Blaine asked “Thanks Sam” Blaine said pressing the end button on his phone.

“Sorry that was one of my best friends. I don’t know how, but he always seems to know when I need to hear from him” Blaine said walking over to the couch where Alan had sat down, sitting beside him.

“No problem, now then, do you want to talk. I saw the look on your face when you walked out of class, and then he followed you out” Alan said looking at Blaine.

“Oh yeah that… I basically found out the last two months of my relationship with Kurt was a complete sham. Well actually longer than that I guess. We met in high school, and I fell so in love with him, I even transferred schools just to be with him. I used to go to an all boys private school.” Blaine said looking at him

“We met my sophomore his junior year. We were together for the next two years, and as far as I knew we were happy. We had the normal couple hiccups but nothing major. Hell we were the only couple in our glee club that never even fought.”

“At the beginning of my senior year, Kurt moved to New York for school, and he started working for Vogue. At first everything was ok, but then I started hearing from him less and less. I would call or text him and a lot of the time he wouldn’t answer his phone. The bad thing was Kurt was also my best friend. The person I talked to about all the craziness.”

“I guess I just started feeling like I lost him, that I wasn’t part of his world anymore, and I went out with someone else. I cheated. It wasn’t anything more than a kiss, but still that was cheating. I came to New York to tell him what I had done, and to beg him for his forgiveness. He broke up with me.” Blaine said looking at Alan with a sad smile.

“I still thought we would get back together, I just knew it, our love was that strong. Or at least I thought it was. I would text him randomly at first to apologize and he never once responded. I finally decided to give him some space to calm down, I texted him one more time to let him know I would leave him alone, but I was always there when he was ready to talk”

“We had a school shooting, it made national news and he never even called. He never once called to check on the person he always said was his best friend. In that moment I knew we were really over. Until then I guess I had convinced myself that we were going to manage to work us out. I got mad which helped.”

“I had applied for NYADA before the break up. He was even there and helped me fill out the application. He had come home that weekend out of the blue to see me” Blaine said laughing without humor, standing up walking to the window

“After the shooting and him not calling like I said I was mad, and hurt. I had almost convinced myself not to come here until then. I didn’t think I could handle it if we saw each other. Him not calling even if just to check on me made me so mad and gave me the push I needed to come here. I wasn’t going to let him make me miss the opportunity of a good education.”

“As you know I went out with Adam a few times, only to find out that from the time Kurt moved to New York, he was dating Adam. Today, I found out that he didn’t break up with me when he decided he wanted to date someone else because he didn’t want to be alone. He thought he could try out dating someone else and if it didn’t work out, he still had me. I was his little safety net” Blaine said turning around looking at him

“Damn Blaine” Alan whispered looking at him. “What are you going to do?” he asked looking at him.

“That is what Sam asked, and to be honest I don’t know yet. I know I wish I never came here, I wish I had never seen him again. I think after class tomorrow I am going to head home for the weekend; I want to talk to Sam and Tina, they have been there for me through everything, the funny thing is I met them through Kurt, I am only friends with them because of him” Blaine said looking at him

“Do you feel like going out with me tonight? If you don’t I understand, but I kind of hope you do” Alan said looking at Blaine with a gentle smile

“Can I get a rain check? I know I am not going to be any kind of company tonight” Blaine said looking at him, in a way glad that Alan had given him an easy out.

“I completely understand” Alan said standing up “I will go ahead and leave now, call me if you need to talk, I guess I will see you tomorrow”

“Thank you for understanding, I just know I will be Debbie downer tonight” Blaine said trying to laugh, but almost breaking down instead.

Blaine walks Alan to the door, allows him to kiss him goodbye and quietly shuts the door. The minute it closes he slides down to the floor and falls apart. He still couldn’t believe the words Kurt had said to him today, he felt so beyond used, and hurt. He had spent most of his senior year feeling guilty about cheating on Kurt. He could have been having fun, running around with his friends, but instead he had sat in his room watching the old movies him and Kurt used to watch together, missing him more and more.

When his parents had first gotten him this apartment, he had fallen in love with it, and even though he had still been mad at Kurt for the whole not calling after the shooting, he had it built it up in his mind that somehow they would see each other, Kurt would realize he still loved Blaine enough to forgive him and they could share this apartment together. After today he knew it had all been a pipe dream.

Blaine stood up, walked to his bedroom and packed a suitcase, he was going to go home tonight, he would just skip class tomorrow. He needed to be around people that loved him again. He wanted to be with his parents, to see Sam and Tina and for a brief minute to forget.

When he had his bag packed he called for a taxi and went to the airport. He was lucky and was able to get a flight leaving in an hour. He sat in the waiting area until his plane was called and then boarded, he didn’t even stop to call his parents to let them know he was on his way home.

When his plane landed in Ohio, he grabbed a cab and headed home, the only place he wanted to be. When he walked in the front door the house was quiet, he first looked in the living room, then the kitchen and then finally his dad’s office, that is where he found them, snuggled up on the couch watching a movie, when he opened the door, his mom turned around, took one look at him and jumped up and ran over to him.

“Blaine, sweetheart, what’s wrong” she asked pulling him into her arms feeling when his whole body started to shake.

“He cheated on my mama, he cheated on me” Blaine said sobbing. He hurt so bad

“Who cheated on you” his mom patiently asked him, looking at his dad when he walked up to them. As far as they knew Blaine hadn’t been in a relationship with anyone since Kurt broke up with him.

“Kurt, he was cheating on me almost from the time he moved to New York. That is why he stopped taking my calls. He left me believing that I was the only one at fault for our break up. Yes I kissed Eli, but mama he was dating someone almost the whole time he was gone” Blaine said looking at his parents

“How do you know that son” Michael asked looking at Blaine. He had always liked Kurt, and thought that the two of them made a good couple. If his son had to be gay, at least he was with someone that was good to him, or so he thought.

“I met this guy named Adam, we had a class together and we really hit it off. He was a year older than me, was British and just really seemed nice. We went out a few times and somehow we ended up talking about our exes. Since Kurt was my only one, I told him about Kurt. He proceeded to tell me about this guy he had started dating the year before, how they had met after the guy had been in school for two weeks. He was talking about Kurt.” He answered

“Are you sure son, that doesn’t sound like Kurt” his dad asked looking at him

“He confessed, he told me himself. When I asked him why he didn’t just break up with me, if he wanted to be with other people, he told me that he was afraid to break up with me because it might not have worked out between them, and he would still at least have me. He used me so that he had a backup plan in case Adam didn’t work” he answered tears slowly sliding down his face.

“Come on sweety, let’s go sit down and snuggle like we used to. It looks like you could use it,” she said grabbing Blaine’s hand and guiding him to the couch. Pam sat by Michael and Blaine laid down with his head in her lap like he used to when he was little, back when laying in her lap could make everything better. She just held him, stroking his hair with her hand.

“What do you want to do Blaine, do you want to stay at NYADA, or do you want to transfer somewhere else” his dad asked him. He was so beyond pissed at that little shit that had hurt his son; he didn’t like the idea of them being in the same place anymore. He didn’t want to watch his son hurt.

“I honestly don’t know” Blaine whispered “I don’t like the idea of being a quitter. I don’t want to let him run me off. You know. I have a feeling I would regret it for the rest of my life if I did.”

“Well just know we will support you no matter what decision you make. If you want to stay there, transfer schools or just come home for a while. Whatever you think is best for you, is fine with us.” Michael said looking at Blaine with a small smile on his face. He was so glad to have Blaine home, he had missed him. He hates that it is for the reason it is, but…

Blaine almost falls asleep, feeling his mom rub his head had him so relaxed. He slowly sits up. “I think I am going to head to bed, thank you both for everything” Blaine said leaning over, and hugging his parents, before walking out of the room, just so glad to be home.

Blaine walked up to his room, and looked around. The last time he had been here he had been so happy for his new adventure to start. Looking around his room he sees so much of “ _ them” _ still laying around. On his cork board by his desk was a picture of the Warblers. The one taken right after Kurt had joined them. Beside it was a picture of all of the New Directions when they had won Nationals, Blaine standing with his arm around Kurt’s waist, as always so proud to be standing beside him.

On his bookshelf was his favorite book that just happened to be the very first thing Kurt had ever given him. And Blaine knew that if he opened his nightstand drawer, right on the very top was a black and white picture of Kurt that he had, had taken his senior year in high school. Blaine crawled up on his bed and remembered their first time. He had just played Tony in Westside Story, and Kurt had shyly said he wanted to come here, to Blaine’s house.

That had been the most magical night of his life; he had never loved Kurt more, he had known that they were going to be together forever. He had been so very wrong. Blaine stands back up and walks over to his closet, opening the door, he looks at all his old clothes he wore when he was in McKinley, mixed in was his Dalton uniforms. He should throw them all out. He couldn’t see himself ever wearing any of them again.

Blaine slowly made his way back to his bed grabbing his keyboard as he did. He had a song running through his head that he needed to get out. He slowly played the chords running through his mind and before he even realized it, he had a lyrics. He quickly started writing and before he knew it, he had written his third song.

Finally feeling tired after a very emotional day, Blaine stripped down to his briefs and crawled into his bed, so very glad to be home. He slept till nine the next morning, something he hasn’t done in forever. When he finally got himself dressed he walked out of his bedroom, and went to the kitchen. His mom had left a note that she had some errands she needed to run but would see him later. She had left Blaine some coffee; he quickly drank it before walking outside, getting in his car and heading to Lima.

Blaine was pulling up in front of Hummel Tire and Lube before he even realized where he was going. He knew he wanted to talk to Burt, but it was almost like his car had been on autopilot. Blaine sat there for a few minutes before opening his door and getting out of his car. He needed to know if Burt had known what was going on and didn’t tell him.

“Did you know” Blaine asked walking into Burt’s office

“Did I know what” Burt asked softly, and from the look he was giving Blaine, he already had his answer

“Why didn’t you tell me, warn me? I walked into that stupid school blind. I thought you cared about me Burt, how could you do that” Blaine whispered feeling so beyond betrayed by a man he had always thought of as a second father.

“I couldn’t tell you Blaine, it wasn’t my place; he needed to be the one to tell you” Burt said standing up from his desk and walking over to face Blaine. He had hoped that he would never hear the truth.

“How long did you know” Blaine asked starting to get a little aggravated

“He called me after he had been at school a week and a half saying that there was a guy he had his eye on. The next week he called me and told me that they had gone out on their first date. I asked him then if he was going to break up with you, and he said he wasn’t sure yet. He wanted to see how things went with Adam first. I tried to get him to tell you, to do the right thing and he refused and made me promise not to tell you anything, that he would tell you when he was ready.” Burt said wishing he would have done what he felt was right from the beginning.

“I don’t understand how you could do that to me. You knew how torn up I was because I had cheated on Kurt, how bad it was when he broke up with me. You let me go on and on and never thought it was important enough to tell me. I trusted you Burt, I thought you cared about me. I guess now I know.” Blaine said turning around, heading back to his car, ignoring Burt as he called out to him, trying to get him to stop.

Blaine got in his car and drove off. He went to the Lima Bean went in and ordered himself a medium drip, and just stopped himself from ordering a grande’ nonfat mocha. He almost broke down again, wishing now that he hadn’t stopped, that he hadn’t come here, there were too many memories and ghosts hanging around. Blaine pulled out his phone and called Sam to see if he could talk

Blaine sat there for ten minutes and when he looked up he saw Sam and Tina walk in. He had never been so happy to see them before. He stood up and hugged them, before they all sat down.

“What is going on Blaine” Tina asked. When Sam had called her yesterday asking if she could come home, he had told her a little but said that Blaine would need to fill her in on the rest. Blaine slowly tells them what he found out how Kurt had been dating someone else the whole time and that was why he had stopped talking to him.

“What are you going to do” Sam asked still so in shock, if anyone ever asked the glee members which relationship they thought would make it, it would have been Kurt and Blaine. They had always been so perfect together, two halves of a whole. When Blaine had come back to school that Monday, after flying to New York to confess to Kurt they had both been so shocked. That wasn’t something they ever saw Blaine doing, he loved Kurt too much for that. To Blaine, Kurt had hung the moon, now, he was sitting in front of them devastated.

“What are you going to do now? Are you going to change schools?” Tina asked looking at him

“I don’t think he should, I don’t think he should give Kurt that much power over him, I think he will regret it if he does.” Sam said looking at Tina

“Funny, that is exactly what I said to my parents last night” Blaine said with a sad smile

“I think you should go back, act like you could care less. Maybe transfer out of the classes you have with him but stay in school” Sam said looking at both of them

“When did you get so smart” Tina said looking at Sam before busting out laughing.

By the time they finished talking Blaine knew what he was going to do, he wasn’t going to let Kurt ruin his education, a decision he had made before starting at NYADA at the first of the semester. He would however change out a few of his classes. He knew he would need to stay in theater readiness but the rest he didn’t care anything about. He would stay with the ones he needed for his major and not worry about the rest.

He drove home feeling so much better. Talking to Sam and Tina had been just what he needed. He spent the rest of the weekend with his parents before heading back to New York so he would be ready for class on Monday

oOoOo

From that point on, Blaine concentrated on his school work. He still went out with friends and enjoyed himself but it never went back to the way it was, and he was ok with that. Towards the end of Blaine’s first year at NYADA, the students in his theater readiness class were called to the auditorium. Blaine held off walking in, wanting to make sure that he wasn’t stuck sitting with people he had been trying to avoid since first semester.

“Ok group we have a special treat. One of our schools benefactors June Dalloway will be here in two weeks; we are going to be changing the name of this auditorium in honor of her. We have three of you picked out that we would like to perform for her. When I call your name, please come forward and you will be given the song you will be performing for her.” Mr. Marcs said

“Karen Jones, Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel” Shit Blaine whispered standing up and walking to the front. He didn’t want to be involved in a project that included Kurt; he had managed not to be anywhere near him all year except that one class.

Walking forward, Blaine was given the song Story of my life. He wasn’t really familiar with the song; at least they were given two weeks to learn it. Blaine had just turned around to walk out and go to his last class of the day, when he felt a hand on his arm. Before turning around, he knew who it was going to be, and almost kept walking, but Kurt had once been his best friend, and if he was honest he still missed him.

“Blaine can I talk to you a minute” Kurt asked him softly, Blaine hadn’t really looked at him in a while, he always tried to avoid him, but looking now he noticed that Kurt’s already thin body was even thinner, he had dark circles under his eyes, and the hair Kurt had once spent thirty minutes to fix was just laying flat on his head like he couldn’t be bothered with it anymore.

“Kurt, are you okay” Blaine asked concerned, hating to see Kurt like this. He had always been Blaine’s beautiful boy, now he just looked like he didn’t care

“I’m ok, I wanted to apologize to you again for everything I did, and let you know just how much I regret hurting you, hurting us. I love you Blaine, you are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I just wish I had realized that before it was too late. I know you don’t want to talk to me and I understand. I just didn’t want to leave without telling you goodbye.

“What do you mean leave without telling me goodbye” Blaine asked looking at Kurt in shock

“I think it is time for me to leave. I know that you have been avoiding being with me, and I understand why, I do, but it has just gotten to where it hurts to bad. I miss my best friend, the person I could always talk to about everything; the person who knew me better than I knew myself most of the time. I am leaving NYADA; I am going to go to London College of Fashion beginning next semester. I just told Mr. Marcs that I won’t be available for the show so he can give my part to someone else” Kurt said looking at Blaine feeling as a tear rolled down his face.

“When did you decide to change your major, you never said you wanted to go into fashion, all you talked about was being on Broadway” Blaine asked before he realized he was actually talking to Kurt the way they used to, back when everything was still normal between them.

“Probably about six months ago. I just can’t do it anymore; I can’t handle seeing you and not being able to be with you. I can’t get into acting anymore, Rachel of course is freaking out but she is going to be playing Fanny so she wasn’t going to be around much anymore anyway. I guess I need to go, I just wanted to tell you bye and hope you get everything you want out of life Blaine, because if anyone deserves it, you do. I will love you forever” Kurt said before turning around and walking away leaving Blaine standing there in complete shock.

Kurt, his Kurt was telling him goodbye


	5. Showtime

Blaine stood in the same spot, looking at the door Kurt had walked out of. He had been standing there for five minutes, unable to move. Feelings he hadn’t felt in months crashing down around him.

Even though he had been avoiding being around Kurt, had avoided spending any time with him at all, Kurt had been _ there, _Blaine could have still seen him if and when he was ready too, but now, now he would be living in another country, so very far away. Blaine realized in that instant if nothing else, he missed his best friend. He missed the relationship they had always shared.

From the first instant they had met at the bottom of the Dalton staircase they had clicked, and they had soon become inseparable, if you saw Blaine then you saw Kurt, and vice versa, they were friends. Kurt had been there when Blaine had crashed and burned at the gap, when he just knew for sure he was in love with Jeremiah. Until Kurt, he hadn’t known what real love was. Kurt had stood by him and was the only person who hadn’t laughed when he was rejected.

Kurt had been there when he kissed Rachel, trying to be straight so that maybe he and his dad could be close again, like they had been before he had come out to him. Kurt had been there when he kissed Rachel again sober and knew for a fact that he was definitely gay. Kurt had held him tight the last time he and his dad had had a bad fight, when he had told Blaine he was disappointed in him, before they had finally gotten close again.

Standing there thinking about everything that had happened, what he had done, and what Kurt had done, Blaine was lost. In that instant he knows he wants Kurt back. They will have a lot of issues to work through to get back to where they were, if they could, but THEY were worth it. With that thought Blaine takes off running, trying to catch up with Kurt, trying to find him and stop him from leaving and going to London.

He runs to the different classes he knows Kurt is in and tries to catch him before he leaves campus, but has no luck. He walks out the front door, hops in a cab and heads to Kurt and Rachel’s apartment in Bushwick. He runs up the stairs, not wanting to waste time waiting on the elevator, and then he knocks on the door, a smile on his face. When the door opens the smile drops.

“Blaine, what are you doing here” Rachel asks staring at him. The last time she had seen him was right before him and Kurt had broken up.

“Where is he Rach, I need to talk to him,” Blaine said bending over trying to catch his breath

“He’s gone Blaine, he said he was going to go talk to you and then he was catching his plane.” She answers looking at him with a sad expression on her face.

“When does his plane leave” he asked

Looking at her watch Rachel gave him a sad smile “It should have left ten minutes ago”

“No…” Blaine said pulling out his phone, and dialing the only number he had ever bothered to learn by heart

“We are sorry but the number you dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service……” was the recording Blaine heard

“He had his phone disconnected yesterday. He said he would need to get a new one in the U.K. anyway”

“When he gives you his new number Rachel, please call me and give it to me. I need to talk to him, it is really important.” Blaine said trying to keep the sound of desperation out of his voice.

“I can’t Blaine; he made everyone promise not to tell you. He said he didn’t want you to know, that way when you didn’t call he could try to convince himself that is was because you didn’t have his number, not that you just didn’t care about him anymore.” Rachel answered. “He also closed his email account as well. He will create a new one when he starts school”

“Rachel please, I need to get in contact with him, I messed up and I know it, but I need him” Blaine asked no longer afraid to beg.

“I’m sorry Blaine, I really am” Rachel said hugging him for a minute before stepping back and shutting the door.

Blaine waited a week, giving Kurt time to get his new phone, and then called everyone that might have potentially been given the new number, even finally breaking down and calling Burt; he heard the same thing from everyone that Rachel had told him. No one was allowed to give Blaine his new number or email address. Kurt was gone.

Blaine tried one more thing before finally giving up. He sent a letter to Kurt at the school he had said he was going to. In the letter he begged Kurt to call him, he even wrote his number down, even though it hadn’t changed in case Kurt didn’t have it. He waited and waited; only to have it returned to him, unopened. On the front of the envelope, in an unfamiliar handwriting it said “Student unknown”

Blaine finally gave up; his search for Kurt was done. He had no more avenues available to him. Blaine threw himself into his school work, and learning the song he needed to sing in two days for June Dolloway.

oOoOo

Blaine slipped into his tux jacket, making sure his bow tie was straight. The last time he had worn a tux was at Kurt’s senior prom, or as they had called it the Anti prom. The first time Kurt had seen him without his hair being slicked back with hair gel. Blaine can still hear Brittany calling him Mr. Broccoli Head. But now he could almost laugh about it. The last time he had worn a bow tie was the day of the school shooting. They were all still hanging neatly in his closet at his parents’ house.

When he was dressed, he picked up his wallet, phone, keys and watch and was heading out the door. He had called a taxi to pick him up. Even though he didn’t live far from school, he hadn’t wanted to walk down the streets of New York in a tux. When he stepped outside the taxi was already waiting on him. He quickly slipped in, told the driver the address he needed to go to and then sat back and enjoyed the ride. 

Blaine still wished he didn’t have to go tonight. He would probably be the only one there without a date. He knows he probably could have asked Alan, but Blaine hadn’t talked to him since the night he had canceled their date. He also wasn’t in the mood to sing a song to a stuffy old rich woman, who probably had no sense of humor and would probably look down her nose at everyone.

Blaine had promised though, so he went. He was the first person to perform and was glad when he was finally done. He walked over to the bar that had been set up, and ordered himself a bottle of water, taking a long swallow, almost lost in his own world.

“You were amazing young man” Blaine heard from behind him, turning around he was face to face with June Dolloway herself. He almost choked on his water.

“Thank you Mrs. Dolloway” Blaine said so in shock looking at her.

“Call me June, Blaine, I think we are going to be friends” she said with a smile

And that is what happened. Within weeks of meeting June, she had arranged for him to do a showcase, allowing him to invite Sam and Tina. She thought he had an amazing voice and could go far. After the first showcase she arranged another and another. Three months later she was introducing him a manager, and a month after that Blaine was signing his first recording contract.

He formally withdrew himself from NYADA, and with the approval of his parents, he moved to California. When he was finally ready to record his first album every song on it was his, he had written them all. After Kurt had left, and Blaine had no way to contact him, he poured his feelings into his songs, letting them flow through his lyrics.

His first single “Because It’s You” hit the top of the billboard chart the first week it was out, and became one of iTunes most popular downloads. For a while Blaine was happy again, he loved recording his music and even though to him it sounded a little weird, he liked hearing his songs playing on the radio.

Blaine brought Sam on as part of his band. That had made the touring he had to start doing less boring. He had someone that he could talk to, someone who let Blaine talk about “_ him” _ as much as he needed to, and with the help of Tina as his assistant, he was never really alone.

After a while the whole in his heart didn’t hurt as much, the second time saying goodbye to Kurt even though painful hadn’t been as bad as the first. He knew he could survive it because he had survived so much worse.

oOoOo

Blaine was in his second week of a sold out tour when he looked out in the audience and saw the prettiest set of green eyes he had ever seen, they were nowhere near as pretty as the blue eyes he loved, but he was interested enough to meet him. During a song break, when only the instruments were being played Blaine motioned for Tina to come forward just to the side of the stage.

“What’s up?” she asked, this was new Blaine had never done this before

“See that man, second row middle with the green button down shirt” Blaine said discreetly pointing him out to Tina. “Bring him back stage for me” Blaine said looking at her.

“Are you sure Blaine” She asked, she knew what today was, her and Sam both did

“I’m positive, bring him backstage as part of the normal meet and greet” He said looking at her

“Blaine, the list has already been made out” she said looking at him

“Well add another too it” He said with a wink walking back to the mic and finishing his set.

The rest of the show Blaine sang with a little more energy, he bounced around stage the way he did when he was still with the Warblers, in other words for the first time in a long time he enjoyed himself. In that moment he decided he was tired of being sad. He was tired of reliving the past that couldn’t be changed.

This would be the first time Blaine had ever asked for a specific person, to be brought back stage. Normally he left that up to his crew, to pick the lucky fan or fans, but in that moment he decided it was time to start living a little again, and he wanted to meet him. He knew what caused his sudden decision, but doesn’t care; Kurt and Blaine had been broken up 2 years today.

After the concert, the fans that had been selected for the meet and greet were brought backstage. Blaine had been talking to his manager, when he saw Mr. Green Eyes walk in he continued to talk, Blaine not wanting to let him know just how excited he was to meet him

“Blaine, I would like you to meet Erin Sanders, Andrea Phillips, Mark Krieger, and Alex Maxwell” Tina said introducing everyone to Blaine, even though he only really had eyes for Alex

“Nice to meet you all, thank you so much for coming to my concert and coming back to meet me,” Blaine said with his signature smile

One by one he talked to them, signing his autograph and taking pictures. When he got to Alex he smiled softly “Well, Alex tell me about yourself” Blaine said looking at him

Alex just smiled a shy smile looking at Blaine “I am 20 I am a sophomore at The University of Nevada, Las Vegas I am a Criminal Justice major. I love to read and could watch musicals every night, I love romantic comedies and Disney movies” he said and then almost as if realizing what he had said he turned red “I know exciting right” he said almost like he was expecting Blaine to laugh at him and walk away.

“You just named off three of my favorite things. I love reading, watching romantic comedies and I am a Disney fanatic” Blaine said laughing

“Wow… I can’t believe I am talking to Blaine Anderson right now” Alex said turning red again realizing how much of a fan boy he sounded.

Blaine walked up close to him, and whispered in his ear, “And I can’t believe I am talking to Alex Maxwell” giving him a wink before stepping back

“Blainer’s, you ready to get out of here and go grab some dinner” Sam asked walking over to Blaine and throwing his arm across his shoulder

“Yeah, sounds great” Blaine said smiling at Sam before turning around and looking at Alex

“Listen, I am in town until tomorrow night, are you interested in getting together and getting something to eat” Blaine asked

“Yes…. I would like that” Alex said with a shy smile

“Ok, give me your number and I’ll call you sometime tomorrow and set something up” Blaine said before turning around looking at Sam laughing knowing what he was thinking. He could almost hear bow chicka bow wow from Sam

“No Sam, just no” Blaine said laughing harder, seeing as Alex looked between them

“What….” Said Sam looking at Blaine with an innocent look in his eyes

“Are you two a couple” Alex asked the question he had wanted to since the guy came over and put his arm across Blaine’s shoulder. He had really been enjoying their talk until then, but if Blaine was with someone he couldn’t be involved with him, not that he would ever get a chance to be involved or anything like that

“No, he just wants to do me” Sam said laughing as he started to walk away

“That was funny senior year Sam” Blaine said but unable to stop himself from laughing before turning back to Alex.

“No me and Sam are not a couple. He is one of my best friends from high school. He is one of the only people who could put up with this crazy life I live. Now then can I have your number” Blaine asked again, pulling a scrap piece of paper out of his pocket and handing it to Alex with the pen he had used to do the autographs with.

“Thanks” Blaine said with a smile, “I’ll call you tomorrow” Blaine said before turning around and following Sam to where they knew Tina would be, letting security take the fans out of the side door.

Blaine had one of his security team go out the next morning to buy him a generic phone. He decided that yes he would call Alex, but didn’t want to use his real telephone to do it. He didn’t want to take a chance on his actual telephone number getting out to fans and making it where he would have to change it. That wasn’t something he wanted to do. He wanted to keep the same number in case Kurt ever tried to call him.

He enjoyed the time he spent with Alex the next day, enjoyed getting to know him, but he knew the minute he had dropped him off, that this would be a one time only thing. He wasn’t ready after all. Blaine had kissed him goodbye and cried all the way back to his tour bus. He had just kissed the first person that wasn’t Kurt since their breakup, and even after two years it still felt so very wrong.

Blaine waited another six months before trying it again. He dated off and on, he would meet someone on tour, get their number spend some time with them and then never talk to them again. He kept waiting to find that one person that would help him forget Kurt; he was beginning to think he would never find anyone, and then he had met Bradon.

Bradon was the first man Blaine kissed that he didn’t feel guilty about afterwards. He had met him after a concert in Boston, Blaine had seen him in the audience. It had become a thing for Blaine to see someone and arrange to have them meet him after the show as part of the meet and greet. Tina no longer found it strange.

Blaine had looked out into the audience his first night in Boston, and saw Bradon standing there. He didn’t look like he was a normal fan, he actually looked bored and Blaine was fascinated by that. He had gone out with plenty of fanboys. It would be nice to go out with someone, who really didn’t seem interested. He was a glutton for punishment it would seem.

Blaine had almost fallen in love with Bradon; he was the first person that almost made him forget about Kurt. He was a lawyer from a very respectable family. He didn’t need Blaine for his money or influence; he had enough of that on his own. They dated off and on for a year before their relationship fizzled and Blaine couldn’t bring himself to look anymore. He just didn’t have the heart.

Bradon’s main problem was that Blaine wouldn’t have sex with him. That was just one thing Blaine couldn’t bring himself to do. That was the one thing he knew he would never be able to do with anyone but Kurt. They had done everything up to the point of intercourse and Blaine just couldn’t take that last step, they decided to just end it there while they could still be friends.

oOoOo

“_ Damn, why does that song always have to be playing every time I get in the damn car _” Blaine thought to himself so over that song. Couldn’t they find another fucking song to play? Blaine was so beyond frustrated

“Topping the Billboard One Hundred again this week “_ For You _”, by Blaine Anderson” the radio announcer said.

Most people would have been happy to hear their song on the radio, to make it to the number one position of the billboard One hundred but not Blaine. He hated that song; it was too raw and still hurt too bad. He had written it the day he had come back from New York. The day he had curled up with his head on his mom’s lap and cried his eyes out, the day it had finally hit him that his whole last year with Kurt had been a joke.

He had been a safe guard so Kurt wouldn’t be alone, only a safety net. He could go out with other men, find out if he was missing something, but still have Blaine in the background waiting patiently for him to finally be ready to talk, to remember he still had a boyfriend, someone who loved him. When Kurt had finally broke down and told him the truth Blaine had been devastated.

He had wanted to go back, back to when their love was new. Back to when everything was so easy and simple. Back before the first hurt, and sometimes he wished he could go back to the first meeting. If only history could be re-written.

If he could re-write history, this song now playing on the radio would never have seen the light of day. He wishes again for the hundredth time he hadn’t recorded that song. He had let his manager go through some of his work; he had found “For You” and wanted to record it. Blaine in all his stupidity thought it would help chase the memories away for good, he was oh so wrong.

The only song that could hurt him worse was Shooting Star. He had written it after the shooting at McKinley, when after the third day Kurt hadn’t called him, the day he finally realized he really was gone forever. If only he had known then that he had been gone long before that.

oOoOo

Blaine hated that “For you” could bring Kurt so quickly back to his mind. He had been doing good, he hadn’t thought of him once today, and then the opening chorus of that song came on and it was like he was standing in the middle of central park all over again, watching as Kurt walked away from him, or standing in that vacant classroom as Kurt finally confessed to everything.

Blaine closed his eyes and felt as the first tear escaped from his eyes. He hated that Kurt still had that effect on him, that he still loved him that much, because he did. He had tried over and over to forget Kurt, to move on. Especially after Kurt had left, and left him with no means of contacting him. Blaine had had boyfriends, he had tried but it was still just Kurt. 

Blaine did the same thing he always did when it got this bad, when it hurt so bad he had trouble breathing. He went home, grabbed his boyfriend Matt’s hand and pulled him into the bedroom. He needed Matt, so that he could try to get the thought of Kurt out of his head. He quickly stripped his clothes off and then removed his own and pushed him down on the bed, crawling up and on top of him.

Blaine was hard, and so was Matt, he started thrusting his hips down so that they connected. This was the only type of intimacy he ever allowed himself. When he and Matt had first moved in together, he had been up front with him, about what he was willing to do. He didn’t want a repeat of Bradon.

Blaine continued to move his hips rocking forward and back, enjoying the sweet friction he got from it. He closed his eyes and began thrusting his hips faster,when he felt Matt come warm between them he started speeding up, thrusting down on him faster, harder and then he was coming, head back, eyes closed, and just like that he was making love to Kurt again.

Did it make him a bad person maybe, but that is what he had to do to survive, to be able to breathe again. He was fine until he opened his eyes and looked down into Matt’s eyes, and even though he had blue eyes, it was a different color of blue, and even though he had a brownish auburn hair, it was a different color brown, and even though he had the same build, it wasn’t the same, it could never be the same because it wasn’t the person he needed so bad.

He rolled over on his back and threw his arm over his eyes. He really needed to stop this. Him and Matt hadn’t really worked for a long time, but Blaine just couldn’t let him go. He needed him there. He needed him when he wanted to snuggle at night when nightmares invaded his sleep; he needed him there when like today he just needed to feel again.

“What was that about Blaine, talk to me” Matt said sitting up and turning around so they were facing each other

“I needed you, wasn’t it obvious” Blaine said sitting up, not wanting to have this conversation right now. 

“So, I was convenient” Matt asked softly

“Yes” was all Blaine could say. He had never once lied to him, never once acted like this relationship was anything more than it was. Blaine didn’t like one night stands; he preferred to be in a relationship with the person he sleeps with. When it no longer worked, he said goodbye and moved on.

Matt just nods his head slowly standing up, putting his clothes back on, without even showering first, he then walked to the closet. Blaine watched him as he pulled his suitcase out and started packing his clothes, the only thing he had ever brought with him, even though they had been living together for almost six months.

When he had the last of his clothes packed he closed his suitcase picked it up off the bed and headed to the door never once saying anything. Blaine watched as the door shut behind him, before standing up and heading to the shower. Tomorrow he was back on tour, now he would be going alone, something he hated. It was bad enough being on tour, but to be alone made it worse.

He had decided that at the end of his current contract he wasn’t going to renew it. He was tired of being on the road. He would agree to do a few albums but no longer wanted to be under contract. He had enough money, and he would still get royalties so he didn’t need to keep touring. He should have stopped a while ago, when it had just stopped being fun.

oOoOo

Blaine was on his second week of tour, they were in Paris, a place him and Kurt had once talked about visiting. He was on stage playing one of his most recent songs; it had just hit the top ten. He was proud of it, it was one of the first songs he had written that wasn’t about Kurt. He was looking around the concert hall when he saw someone. He did a double take, and almost missed a note, because there in the second row, third seat middle was his past, looking more beautiful than ever, if that was even possible.

When that song was over, he did something he never did; he decided to change his song list. He walked over to Sam on bass, and whispered in his ear, what he wanted to do before walking back over to the mic. “Ok, we are going to do something a little different than what I normally do. There is someone in the audience tonight that I just saw. This person meant a lot to me at one point of time, and to be honest they still do.

“We lost connection with each other, but I hope we can catch back up. You know who you are. This song is one sung by my dear friend Adele who has given me permission to use it. I hadn’t planned on it for tonight because we are really just learning it, but I need to say something to this person, and the words of this song say it all. In our relationship we have many times used songs when we had something we needed to say and just couldn’t find the right words. This is for you…

_Everybody loves the things you do_   
_From the way you talk_   
_To the way you move_   
_Everybody here is watching you_   
_Cause you feel like home_   
_You're like a dream come true_

_But if by chance you're here alone_   
_Can I have a moment_   
_Before I go?_   
_'Cause I've been by myself all night long_   
_Hoping you're someone I used to know_

_You look like a movie  
You sound like a song  
My God, this reminds me  
Of when we were young  
_

Blaine never took his eyes off of Kurt, he couldn’t. His heart was beating so very hard, looking into the eyes that had always told him everything he needed to know. Eyes of the person he still loved beyond belief.

_Let me photograph you in this light_   
_In case it is the last time_   
_That we might be exactly like we were_   
_Before we realized_   
_We were sad of getting old_   
_It made us restless_   
_It was just like a movie_   
_It was just like a song_

_I was so scared to face my fears_   
_Nobody told me that you'd be here_   
_And I swear you moved overseas_   
_That's what you said, when you left me_

Blaine kept singing that song, never taking his eyes off of Kurt, afraid if he did he would disappear out of his life again. Feeling as tears pooled in his eyes and spilled over. Still so very much in love with his best friend...

“That song goes out to the person who has always been my best friend, the person I still miss beyond belief. I am not going to say your name, but you know who you are. My number hasn’t changed, and if you are interested, your name is on the list, and has been at every concert I have ever had. I love you” Blaine said before wiping a tear off of his cheek and finishing his song list.

After the show, he took one more look into the audience, and Kurt was gone, and his heart broke. He lost track of how many times he wished he could go back to that empty NYADA classroom, wished he could take back some of the things he had said, the text messages he had ignored of Kurt saying he was sorry, that he loved him and that he regretted everything, to please give them another chance.

But he can’t undo it, he can only move on. So, with yet another broken heart he walks off stage, thanking his manager when he handed him a bottle of water and a towel to wipe off his face. Tonight had been long, it seemed to take more out of him than usual. He was so very tired of this life, he still had his New York apartment his parents had bought him 4 1/2 years ago when he had gone to NYADA with big dreams, maybe when he quits touring he’ll go back there.

He went into his dressing room, and sat down in the chair in front of the dressing room mirror and started removing his stage makeup, his mind running a hundred different places all at once. He still can’t believe he saw Kurt, and could almost beat himself up that he had said he loved him. Way to go Anderson…. It probably wasn’t even Kurt he tried to convince himself, but he knew that was one face he would never forget, or not be able to recognize from across the room no matter how long it had been since he had seen him.

When his dressing room door opens, he didn’t even turn towards it. “Where is our next show Tina” Blaine said in a tired voice already dreading the flight. He just wanted to go to his motel room, take a shower, climb into bed and forget

“_ Blaine _”

A/N: Song in this chapter is Adele: When We Were Young


	6. Here

A/N: This is the first chapter of any of my stories that has been beta’d, and to be honest I learned that they all needed to be lol. Thank you so much to my wonderful beta JayhawkWrites, for reading over this and understanding my rambling mind.

_“Blaine”…_

Blaine sat still for a few seconds, tingles running down his spine, hearing the voice he loved more than anything, the voice he had wanted to hear for so long, _his_ Kurt. Taking deep breaths with his eyes closed before slowly turning around and looking at the person he had missed more than he ever thought possible, the love of his life.

“_Kurt,_” Blaine whispered, his voice breaking on a sob. He was out of his chair and pulling Kurt into his arm for the first time in 5 years, and in that instant, he was finally home. They held each other tight, both openly crying, their body’s shaking from the force of their tears.

“I missed you so much Kurt, I missed you so much” Blaine whispered with tears running down his face, hands framing Kurt’s face before leaning in and placing a desperate kiss on his lips, putting as much feeling as he could in that one kiss, feeling Kurt responding, he deepened the kiss.

Then it hit him, what he was doing, he didn’t even know if Kurt was free, if he was with someone. That thought, even though painful, had him stepping back a little, but he reached down for Kurt’s hands, holding them, not wanting to ever let him go. If Kurt was with someone else, then they would be friends. Blaine couldn’t lose him again; he needed him in his life in some way, shape or form. He needed Kurt like he needed oxygen to breathe.

“Hi,” Blaine whispered, looking at Kurt with a soft smile on his face. He reached up with his right hand and rubbed his thumb across Kurt’s cheek like he had done hundreds of times before.

“Hi,” Kurt whispered back, looking at Blaine like he was seeing him for the first time, the love he had always felt for Blaine shining in his eyes. When he had seen that Blaine would be performing in Paris tonight, he had bought a ticket right away. He just had to see him. He had never really expected Blaine to notice him among everyone else in that packed auditorium. He thought he would be just one of the thousands of people who showed up to watch _‘his’_ Blaine perform.

He had been shocked when he watched Blaine notice him. Then he sang that song just for him and all the love he still feels for his wonderful friend came flooding back. He could only cry when Blaine said that he was on the “list”, and had been on the list of every concert he had ever had. He was still important to Blaine, and that thought alone had brought him so much joy. Then Blaine told the audience that he still loved him, his heart soared.

A knock on the door disturbed them, it opened a crack and a blond girl stuck her head in, “Blaine the limo will be leaving in five minutes to head to the motel. Sam and Tina said they would meet you there”

“Ok thanks Jillian, have a good night,” Blaine answered with a smile on his face.

“Well, I guess it’s time for you to go, you must be really worn out after that performance tonight,” Kurt said in a quiet voice. He didn’t want to lose Blaine so soon after finally getting to be in his arms again, even if he had only been in them for just a few short minutes.

“Yeah, luckily we were able to check-in the hotel this afternoon before the show. It always makes it easier when we have a late show like tonight. We don’t have to deal with midnight check-ins,” Blaine said with a smile.

“Where are you off to next?” Kurt asked trying to stretch their time together just a little bit more.

“We have one more night in Paris and then we will be heading out to the next concert venue, which to be honest, I lost track of where we were supposed to go next. Sometimes it’s all just a big blur,” Blaine said gently stepping away from Kurt, grabbing his jacket off the back of the chair he had been sitting in.

“Well it was really good seeing you again, I… have really missed you, Blaine,” Kurt said with a tear rolling down his cheek. This was it; he wondered how many years it would be before he was able to see him again, if that was something Blaine even wanted to do.

Blaine looked at Kurt, knowing he didn’t want to let him go so soon after he had just found him again. He didn’t want to lose him again. “Umm… well umm... what are you doing now? Would you be interested in coming to the motel with me? I mean that will give us more time to talk… but only if you want to,” Blaine said struggling to say things the right way. He did not want Kurt to think he was asking him back to the motel for any other reason than to talk, to reconnect. He felt like he was rushing his words by wanting Kurt to go with him so bad, and not wanting to watch him walk away again.

Kurt looked at Blaine with a smile spreading across his face, “I would like that.”

Blaine reached down and took Kurt’s hand like he had thousands of times in the past, feeling that same sense of contentment; of home like he had always felt when he did so all those years before. Blaine can still remember the first time he had held this man’s hand, standing at the bottom of the Dalton staircase looking up at the most beautiful boy he had ever seen in his life, falling in love with him in an instant even though it would take him months to really recognize that.

He looked at Kurt and smiled before opening the door and followed one of the auditorium runners to the outside door. Still holding Kurt’s hand he walked with him towards the waiting limo. Millions of light bulbs started flashing around them as he waited for Kurt to slide in before following him in. With a sigh, he laid his head down on the back of the seat. He was usually always drained after a concert, and most of the time just went to his room and crashed.

“You look tired,” Kurt said softly looking at Blaine. “You were wonderful tonight. I always loved watching you sing, but tonight... On that stage, you were amazing.”

Blaine turned his head, opening his eyes so he could look at Kurt. “Thank you. I’m not going to lie, when I saw you, I might have put a little more into my performance than usual,” he said with a wink, staring at Kurt.

“You were great! I sat out there in the audience and watched the performer you had become, remembering all the times you would sing and perform at Dalton and then at McKinley. You were always this amazing singer, but now you’re unbelievable,” Kurt said looking at him, remembering when Blaine sang “Teenage Dream,” feeling like he had been singing it just for him.

Blaine just stared at him, wanting to ask so many questions, but not knowing if he wanted the answers he would get. He wanted to know if Kurt was seeing anyone? Did he have a boyfriend? Has he loved anyone else? He decided tonight he would just live in his protective bubble, and be with Kurt as long as he would let him be.

Before Blaine was ready they were pulling up to Four Seasons Hotel George V, the hotel they were staying in for this leg of the tour. It was a beautiful place, but Blaine was a little jaded, after spending night after night alone in a hotel room, they kind of all blurred together. He was so ready for this tour to be over so he could just go home. Wherever home might be now.

His apartment in California didn’t really feel like home and if he was honest with himself, it never had. To him, it had just been a place to keep his stuff. He never even took the time to decorate it. The way it was when he moved in, is the way it still is all of these years later. It had even come fully furnished. Nothing in that apartment except for his clothes had been chosen by him.

When the limo swung in close to the entrance, and before the driver could open the car door, Blaine looked at Kurt, “Sorry about this, but there are going to be a lot of cameras around and reporters asking questions. If you would rather leave instead of dealing with this I will understand.” He was feeling down all of a sudden at the thought of Kurt walking away when he was finally with him again.

“I’m fine, Blaine. I understand and I want to spend some time with you while you are in Paris, unless you would prefer me to leave,” Kurt asked wondering if that was Blaine’s polite way of asking him to go.

“No, Kurt. Trust me, I don’t want you to leave. I can promise you that,” Blaine said leaning in to press a soft kiss on Kurt’s lips before he could stop himself. “Ok, let’s go.”

Blaine slid out of the car and reporters immediately started asking questions and taking pictures. Everything got quiet for a split second when Blaine turned around and reached into the car to take Kurt’s hand and helped him out. Then the cameras started going crazy again.

“Blaine, Blaine, who is this?”

“Blaine, is this your new boyfriend?”

“Blaine, where is Matt? Isn’t he with you?” the last reporter yelled. Matt had gone on the last tour with Blaine and had been slated to come on this one also, but things had ended between them and Blaine was honestly happy about that. If he had still been with Matt he wouldn’t have been able to be here with Kurt.

Blaine held up his hand laughing. “Ok. one at a time, please. First of all, thank you to everyone who came out for my concert tonight I hope you all enjoyed it, and _this _is my best friend in the whole world,” Blaine said pulling Kurt close to him wrapping his arm around his waist.

“Is this the person you talked about during your concert, the one you said you lost connection with, the one you sang that song too?”

Blaine looked at Kurt with a soft smile, “Yes, this is the person I was talking about. We had… let’s say, a ‘disagreement’, a little over four years ago and we haven’t seen or talked to each other since then. I saw him in the audience tonight, and I had to reach out to him, I couldn’t let him leave without trying to talk to him again, so yes that song was sung for him,” Blaine said looking at Kurt again.

“Now, if you will excuse us, this has been a really long and emotional day for both of us, and we still have a lot of talking to do. Once again thank you to those who were at the concert tonight and I hope to see you there again tomorrow,” Blaine said before reaching down for Kurt’s hand and walking with him toward the door that was already being held open for him. Not caring for once about the cameras flashing behind him. He was in his happy place beside Kurt, if only for now.

“Mr. Anderson, welcome back. The dinner you requested will be brought up to your room shortly, sir. Please let us know if there is anything else we can help you with,” the concierge said smiling at Blaine

“Actually, John, can you have them bring up enough for two? Also, please add a second glass of wine, and two diet cokes please,” Blaine said smiling at Kurt

“That will be no problem, sir, we will have it up to you in about twenty minutes,” John responded

“Thank you. Have a good night,” Blaine said before putting his hand on the small of Kurt’s back, guiding him to the elevator. When they were inside, Blaine hit the button for his floor and then reached down for Kurt’s hand again, not wanting to let him go any more than he had too. He wasn’t sure how much time he had left with him.

“I can’t believe we broke up five years ago,” Kurt says softly, keeping his head tilted down.

“I know, but let’s not talk about that now ok? We don’t have much time together, and I don’t want the time we do have to be sad. Let’s just spend some time enjoying each other’s company tonight, and maybe if you are interested we can talk about the difficult stuff tomorrow,” Blaine said hoping Kurt would agree because that meant he would get to see him tomorrow as well.

“That sounds nice,” Kurt said with a shaky voice. He knew there was a lot they needed to talk about, a lot to discuss, but he didn’t really want the time he had left with Blaine to be sad. He wanted it to be more like it used to be, when he was still Blaine’s best friend, back before he ruined everything by being stupid and losing the most important person in his life.

“Good,” Blaine said with a smile on his face looking over at Kurt.

When the bell rang notifying them that they were on the right floor, someone was there waiting on them. “Night Blaine, see you in the morning,” the man said with a serious look on his face.

“Thanks, Greg, how is your wife doing?” Blaine stopped for a minute to ask.

“She is doing great. I talked to her a few minutes ago and she is going to her sister’s house tomorrow she can hardly wait. Thanks again for that by the way,” Greg said with a smile.

“No need to thank me. I hope she has a fun visit. See you in the morning,” Blaine said turning left out of the elevator, still holding Kurt’s hand.

“I guess you can tell that was Greg,” Blaine said laughing softly. “My band and crew have this whole floor. Greg’s job is to make sure no one gets off the elevator on this floor that isn’t supposed to be on it. We have had issues before with some fans sneaking around, trying to get into rooms looking for me,” Blaine said looking at Kurt. “I’m not sure why someone would go to that kind of trouble for, but who knows,” he said shrugging his shoulders.

Kurt just looked at Blaine wanting to ask, _don’t you know who you are? Don’t you know how many fans you have?_ Blaine was still Blaine in every way that really mattered Kurt thought with a smile. He was still the person that for the longest time didn’t think he was good enough. He had always been ready to stand up for Kurt, to be a champion him, but had never really learned how to be a champion for himself. He had doubted himself and situations, and Kurt knew he added a lot to that.

“This is me,” Blaine said stopping in front of one of the doors slipping his key card in and then opening the door, standing back to let Kurt walk in first.

The room was massive. It looked like someone’s apartment instead of a hotel room. The living area was bigger than Kurt’s whole apartment combined. The first thing he saw when he walked in was the view. It was beautiful, and from the window, he could see the Eiffel Tower.

“Blaine this is beautiful,” Kurt said turning around looking at Blaine.

“It’s nice. I don’t know why they always put me in such a big room for. When I first started out touring, we always had these little rooms. The label refused to let me pay for my own, so I got what they paid for, now…” Blaine said looking around shrugging his shoulders.

Blaine looked at Kurt with a smile, “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go take a quick shower. I always feel so grimy when I get off stage. It gets really hot up there with all the lights,” Blaine said. “Hopefully I will be out before the food gets here, if not, can you let them in?” Blaine asked looking at Kurt

“Yeah, I can do that,” Kurt whispered as he watched Blaine walk away. Watching as he pulled his shirt off and tossed on the floor by the dresser. Kurt about lost his mind, as he watched Blaine lower his arms, stopping at his waist. Kurt heard as he started unbuckling his belt just as he was walking into the bathroom. His heartbeat accelerated thinking back to all the times he had watched Blaine undress.

He moved a little closer to the bathroom door and could only smile, Blaine was singing in the shower. He had always loved sitting on the sink when they were together, and just listen to Blaine sing while he was in the shower. This time Kurt could just make out the words to ”Teenage Dream,” and couldn’t stop the tears running down his face. All the time he had missed with Blaine because of his own stupidity. Tonight, he knew, was going to be an emotional rollercoaster for both of them.

He had always been happy in school being Blaine Anderson’s boyfriend. He had someone that loved him and always wanted to be with him. Blaine had always seemed proud to be with him, and Kurt had always been proud to be with Blaine. He had sometimes wondered why someone like Blaine, who could have had anyone they wanted, had wanted him.

Blaine had given him confidence with the love he showed him. Blaine had never been afraid to love hard, and to show that love no matter who was around them at the time. He had also given Kurt the courage to go after his dreams. To be what and who he wanted to be.

He had learned to be more secure in himself being Blaine’s boyfriend. He had felt like he could do anything he wanted to do, be what he wanted to be. And how did he repay all the support, and love Blaine had shown him? He moved to New York and did the one thing he knew Blaine had been worried about. He said goodbye. After high school, living in that big city he had lost himself, lost his way, and in the process lost the person that meant the world to him.

Hearing the water turn off, Kurt went back into the living area and sat down on the couch. His jaw dropped when he saw Blaine walk out with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips, running another one over his hair. He had almost forgotten how amazing Blaine’s body was, and he had never been afraid to show that body to Kurt.

Kurt had always felt a little self-conscious of his body, well, until Blaine that is. He was always telling Kurt how beautiful he thought he was, dressed and undressed. He had gotten used to looking up and catching Blaine staring at him after a while. Staring at Blaine now under his lashes, trying not to be obvious, he felt his mouth go dry. He could tell just by looking at him that Blaine still worked out.

Kurt could only smile when he watched Blaine slip into a pair of Dalton lounge pants and a McKinley t-shirt. Leave it to Blaine to still have those. He remembered back to when they were both still at Dalton, and how they used to snuggle up in Blaine’s room. Blaine always had a change of clothes ready for Kurt to put on.

The first time they had ever tried to do anything sexual, Blaine had gotten frustrated at how tight Kurt’s pants were. He had tried to slip his hand under Kurt’s waistband and couldn’t. Kurt could still remember the groan that had slipped out of Blaine’s mouth and almost laughed. He had tried to be so romantic and loving, and instead, he had just looked at Kurt shaking his head.

_“I love your pants sweetheart, I love how your gorgeous ass looks in them,” _Blaine had whispered in his ear_, “but I really want to see that gorgeous ass out of them.”_

After that, when Kurt went to see Blaine he always had some lounge pants laid out for him to put on. Kurt smiles thinking back to their happy days, when things were still new, back to when they were just starting to explore each other’s bodies. Blaine had decided from that day on, Kurt needed to be ‘comfortable’ while he was there.

“You still wear them,” Kurt said looking at Blaine, unable to hold back the smile crossing his face.

Blaine just laughed. “Yeah, I do. I can’t seem to get away from them. I love being comfortable,” he said, raising his eyebrows up and down. And at the moment Kurt knew Blaine was thinking about the same thing, he had been.

“You’re still a nut,” Kurt said laughing.

“And you still love me, so who’s the bigger nut?” Blaine said starting to laugh, until he realized what he said and then laughing stopped. He just stood there staring at Kurt as the sadness he hadn’t felt in a while slipped over him. “Sorry,” Blaine whispered just as a knock sounded on the door.

He walked over to open it, while trying to wipe tears out of his eyes without Kurt noticing. Blaine knows he still feels that way, he is still so in love with Kurt, but that didn’t mean that Kurt still loves him. _Wishful thinking_, he thought to himself, as he let the waiter roll in the tray.

“Give me a sec,” Blaine said walking back towards the bedroom, Kurt watched as he picked up his wallet and pulled out a handful of bills before walking back into the room to hand them to the waiter. “Thanks so much,” Blaine said with a smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Anderson. I hope you have a good night, sir,” the waiter said before walking back out of the room.

Taking a deep breath Blaine turned around and looked at Kurt. He just wanted to pull him into his arms, and kiss him for the rest of the night, but he knew that wasn’t possible and that really hurt. There had been a time when he wouldn’t have thought anything about doing what he wanted, but Kurt wasn’t his anymore, and he hadn’t been for five years. Blaine wanted to crawl into bed and cry just thinking about what they had lost, but he didn’t want to waste the time he had left with Kurt being sad.

“You ready to eat?” Blaine asked with a small smile trying to cheer up.

“Yeah,” Kurt whispered back looking at the man he still loved.

Blaine pushed the tray closer to the table and set the plates and drinks on it. He waited for Kurt to sit down before sitting down himself and pulling the cover off of the plates. Kurt looked down and saw beef bourguignon and chocolate soufflé, and almost broke down. This had always been his favorite meal, and Blaine had actually ordered it for himself not knowing that Kurt would be here with him to eat it. He looked at Blaine questioningly.

“This is what you always ordered when we went to that French restaurant for our date nights. You always talked about how this was your favorite meal. Sometimes I order it just to remember,” Blaine whispered, his face down so that Kurt couldn’t see the tears building up in his eyes and trying to blink them away, not wanting to let them fall.

Every Saturday had been their date night. Most of the time they would go to Breadstix, but once a month Blaine would take Kurt to Andrés. He knew how much Kurt loved all things French and wanted them to have a special night once a month, something besides their normal date night to look forward too.

After their split, when Blaine started missing Kurt too much, he would do things they used to do together. He would go to a French restaurant wherever he was and ordered beef bourguignon and chocolate soufflé, and then usually spend the rest of the night watching _Moulin Rouge_, snuggled up with a pillow, wishing Kurt was with him. When he was heading out for the concert that afternoon, Blaine had really been missing Kurt. He ordered the one meal he knew would make him feel better, even if just while he was eating.

“Oh,” Kurt whispered playing with the fork in front of him, waves of pain crashing down around him.

“Kurt, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I want us to enjoy the time we have together. I have missed you,” Blaine said reaching out placing his hand over Kurt’s before he could stop himself, gently squeezing it and then pulling his hand back.

“I missed you too, more than you will ever know,” Kurt answered back looking at Blaine.

“So, do you live in Paris now, or are you just visiting?” Blaine asked trying to lighten the mood again.

“No, actually I am only here for a month. My boss was setting up a new shop and wanted me here to help get everything started. I have another week and then I will be going home,” Kurt said with a smile. He had loved Paris, but he missed his own place, his friends and especially his cat. Plus, he had always hated living out of a suitcase.

“So, where is home?” Blaine asked taking a bite of his food, and then a sip of his wine.

“I still live in London. After school, I got a really good job working for a designer. He has several studios around the world. I really enjoy working for him, it is busy sometimes but I really like what I do,” Kurt said with a smile.

“Anyone I would know,” Blaine asked looking at Kurt, still not asking the one question he wanted the answer to the most. He was just not quite ready to hear that Kurt was in a relationship, that he wasn’t free. The thought of anyone else touching Kurt hurt. He knows that it was wrong and maybe a bit hypocritical since he has been in other relationships, but Kurt had always just been his.

From what Kurt had told him before leaving New York, he had never _been_ with Adam, but who’s to say he hasn’t been with someone else since then? It had been five years, and Kurt was gorgeous, he must have men all over him all the time.

“André Baptiste,” Kurt said with a smile. He had met André, his third year of design school. He had been at a show set up by the school. They had talked for close to an hour and then André had asked him out. Kurt at first had hesitated, but then agreed. He had seen in the paper that day that Blaine was dating a guy named Bradon, and he had decided it was time to try to date someone again. He knew he needed to try to get on with his life the way Blaine apparently had, but it still hurt.

Being asked out by someone else had made him feel good about himself again, so he agreed. Kurt and André dated for three months, but then decided they were better off just being friends. When Kurt graduated, André offered him a job. Kurt loved working with him, he was a nut and had always reminded him a little of Blaine, not in looks, but in mannerisms.

“Oh wow, I actually have a couple of his pieces. I got them at a shop in LA. He has an amazing collection,” Blaine said. He actually had bought several outfits, and loved the way they felt.

“Yeah, André is wonderful, and so creative,” Kurt said with a big smile.

“Soo… are you two together?” Blaine asked trying to sound nonchalant, taking another bite of his food, not wanting Kurt to know how just that thought was tearing him apart.

“No, we dated for a few months, but then decided we were just better off being friends. He helps keep me grounded sometimes, and tells me when I am being stupid,” Kurt said, knowing what André would say if he was here.

Kurt had told him about Blaine, about what had happened with their relationship. He knew André would tell Kurt to stay away, that there was too much pain on both sides, and that it was better to leave things alone before they hurt each other again. But Kurt couldn’t do that. He needed Blaine, needed him in his life, if not as a boyfriend at least as his friend. He liked André, loved spending time with him, but he missed the conversations he and Blaine used to have about everything under the sun. He missed their connection.

“So are you dating anyone else,” Blaine asked not looking at Kurt, raising his wine glass to his lips, taking a sip. Biting the bullet and asking the one question he could no longer wait for the answer to. He needed to know, even though he might not like the answer.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone. I dated someone for a little over a year but we broke up before I came here. He didn’t want me to come to Paris. He was afraid that something would happen between me and André while we were here. I tried to tell him that André wasn’t even coming on this trip. He tried to _forbid _me from coming. To say the least, we broke up,” Kurt said looking down at his plate, fiddling with his fork again.

He didn’t want to talk to Blaine about Tristan. That whole relationship had been a mistake from the day it started. Kurt had just been so lonely. He was tired of sitting at home alone with just his cat, so when Tristan asked him out for the second time, he had said yes. It had been a convenient relationship. Kurt had someone to spend time with, someone to talk on the phone with again, and he didn’t feel like he was so alone in this world.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Blaine said with words, but felt the complete opposite inside. Kurt was free. Bringing up his glass of wine, he took a big sip to cover the big smile he couldn’t stop from spreading across his face.

“So, what about you?” Kurt asked Blaine.

“Unfortunately, my life and relationships are played out in the papers, on display for anyone to see. I try to keep my private life private, but that doesn’t always work.”

“Yeah, I saw in the paper where you and Matt broke up, I’m sorry,” Kurt said wanting to say _sorry, not sorry_. But he didn’t, he just took another bite of his food, pulling the soufflé over to him, laying down his fork and opting for a spoon instead. “Hmmm,” he said after taking the first bite. This was the first time in over five years that he had had it. After the break-up, he couldn’t bring himself to eat it; instead, he had opted for the New York cheesecake that he knew Blaine had always loved.

“No big deal, we had been over long before we ended it, technically it never should have started to begin with,” Blaine said being honest. That relationship, even though almost a year old, should never have happened. He had just hated living alone so much. He had latched on to the first person that made him laugh. Too bad the laughter hadn’t lasted.

Blaine and Matt had lived in the same apartment and shared the same bed, but shared nothing else. They each had separate lives, and toward the end, they hadn’t really spent that much time together. The day Matt left had been the first time in over a month Blaine had even wanted to touch Matt, and the only reason he had done it then was because he needed to try to chase thoughts of Kurt out of his mind. Not that that had even been remotely what happened. It just made him miss Kurt that much more.

“That bad, huh?” Kurt said looking at Blaine.

“Not always, but we just didn’t have a lot of time to spend together, between studio time recording new albums and then touring…” Blaine said looking at him.

“I guess that happens,” Kurt said barely stopping a yawn. “Sorry,” he said and Blaine watched as a beautiful blush crossed his face. He had missed that, watching as color flooded Kurt’s cheeks. It used to make him want to pull him close and kiss him, and if he was being perfectly honest it still did.

Looking at his watch he looked at Kurt. “Well, you do have a reason to yawn. It’s 2:00 in the morning after all,” Blaine said looking at him.

“Shit, Blaine, I’m sorry I stayed so late, I’m sure you are tired after the concert tonight,” Kurt said taking the last sip of his wine before standing up. He walked over to the couch where he had laid his jacket when they had first come in.

“Will I see you again before you leave?” Kurt asked softly, not really wanting to leave, but he had no right to stay, or even to ask to stay. He had given up that right 5 years ago, when he had broken Blaine’s heart, and in the process broke his own.

“Kurt, it is late. Why don’t you just stay here? I’m sure I have something you can wear to sleep in, and if you want I will sleep on the couch and you can have the bed,” Blaine said hopefully. He was not ready for Kurt to walk out his door yet, well technically not ready for him to ever walk out of his door.

“I don’t want to kick you out of your bed Blaine,” Kurt said hesitating. He wanted to stay, but he didn’t want Blaine to sleep on the couch. “That is a king-sized bed, I think we should both be able to sleep in it together. It wouldn’t be the first time we have slept together,” Kurt whispered.

“That’s true. We spent several nights together as friends when Dalton hosted those slumber parties for the borders. If you're sure...” Blaine said happy, the thought of just holding Kurt making him smile.

“I’m sure,” Kurt said with a smile. “Now, you said you had something I could wear?”

Blaine walked into the bedroom opened his suitcase and bit his bottom lip, a habit he had picked up from Kurt a long time ago. Slowly without looking at Kurt, he pulled out a McKinley t-shirt and lounge pants. Turning around and handing them to Kurt without looking at him. Kurt wondered why the mood in the room had changed until he looked down and realized he was holding his own clothes.

Kurt looked up at Blaine, back down to the clothes he was holding in his hands, and then slowly back up at Blaine again in complete shock. Blaine had kept them all this time.

“You left them at my house the last night you stayed there. I kept them because they were yours, and for the longest time they smelled like you,” Blaine whispered looking at Kurt, feeling as once again tears rolled down his face, remembering their last night together. 

Kurt had shown up at Blaine’s house out of the blue. He had been in New York for two weeks and Blaine had already been missing him desperately. He had never gone more than a day without seeing Kurt other than when New Directions had gone to Nationals. Now it had been two weeks and Blaine already felt like he couldn’t breathe. He knew it was because the separation was still so new. He knew he would eventually learn how to deal with his time without Kurt, but that morning he had just needed to talk to him.

He had tried several times to call and text Kurt, but never was able to contact him. Blaine had started wondering how he was going to be able to do this. How was he going to go a whole year without seeing Kurt at least once a day? He had spent that entire Saturday, near tears and feeling sorry for himself. He had binge watched every Netflix show him and Kurt ever watched together until he fell asleep around ten.

Kurt had woken Blaine up crawling into his bed, pulling him close to him. “What is it, B? You have been calling me like crazy all day,” he had said into the back of Blaine’s head. Blaine had rolled over, took one look at Kurt and had held him tight. 

“I just missed you so much,” Blaine whispered, feeling like if he talked any louder Kurt would disappear.

“I’m here now, B,” Kurt whispered back. That had been the last night Kurt and Blaine had made love.

The next morning, Kurt had asked to borrow some clean clothes so he could shower before going back home. He had helped Blaine fill out his NYADA application, gave him a long hard kiss and then was walking out the door, catching a cab and heading to the airport. It wasn’t until later that day that Blaine realized Kurt had left his lounge clothes in his bathroom. Blaine still had a hard time believing that Kurt got on a plane to see him in those clothes.

Blaine remembers he had smiled as he carried them into the laundry room, wanting to wash them so that they would be ready when Kurt came back. He never did, though. That had been the last time Kurt had come to his house. Blaine had put them in his dresser, and when it was time to move to New York, he had taken them with him, still believing that somehow he and Kurt would work everything out, and be together again.

After the breakup, when he moved to California, he had taken them with him there as well. They had also gone with him on every single tour he had ever been on. Sometimes he would sleep in them when he needed to feel close to Kurt.

“I can’t believe you kept them,” Kurt said sadly not able to look at Blaine.

“I couldn’t throw them out, Kurt. I know they’re only clothes, but it’s almost like they are a part of you. I had to keep them,” Blaine said walking over, sitting on the side of the bed and running his hands through his hair, not able to look at Kurt.

“I still have your t-shirt and shorts,” Kurt whispered, finally looking up at Blaine.

“What?” Blaine asked looking at Kurt, knowing he couldn’t have heard right.

“The shorts and t-shirt I borrowed that next morning, I kept them. They’re in my suitcase in my motel right now. I always take them with me,” Kurt said softly, understanding more than Blaine could have realized.

“Oh,” Blaine said looking at him, feeling just a little bit closer to Kurt.

“Yeah, oh. I’m going to change my clothes, I’ll be right back,” Kurt said standing up and walking into Blaine’s bathroom, noticing right away the skin care products on Blaine’s sink. Every one of them had been what Kurt had used in high school; none of the bottles had ever been used. With a smile, Kurt quickly cleaned his face and then walked back into the bedroom seeing that Blaine had pulled the blankets back and was waiting for Kurt to crawl in.

Once Kurt was in bed, Blaine slipped in between the cool sheets, turning the light off before rolling over and facing Kurt. He lay there for a few minutes undecided, and then gave up, reaching over and pulling Kurt to him, holding him tight, like he had done it last night instead of five long years ago.

He doesn’t want to go to sleep, even though every fiber in his body was yelling for it. He didn’t want to waste one precious second of the time he had with Kurt by sleeping. He closed his eyes, before fighting sleep again and opening them, so he could look at Kurt’s beautiful face. He had missed him so much, and it was wonderful to have him back in his arms again. But where do they go from here? He was still on tour, and Kurt still lived in London.

Blaine felt his eyes slowly start to close again, thinking Kurt was already asleep; Blaine gently brushed the hair off of Kurt’s forehead and whispered, “I have missed you so much. I love you, Kurt,” before finally allowing his eyes to close and to drift off to sleep.

Kurt had heard every word, laying there as tears rolled down his face he whispered back, “I love you, too, Blaine,” before closing his eyes and allowing sleep to pull him under.


	7. The Talk

A/N: Thank you for the reviews I received on this fic they mean more than you know. Thank you to my beta JayhawkWrites, for fixing so many of my mistakes.

oOoOo

_Blaine was on stage singing his heart out, playing his guitar performing one of his newest songs, and just like always, he looks out into the audience. He does it at every concert and with every song. Blaine can't stop himself from looking for one specific face. The face he spent the last four years of his life looking for. The one face that had always brought him so much pleasure and then so much pain._

_Every concert Blaine got his hopes up, and every show those hopes were dashed to the dirt, until tonight. He was looking out into the audience holding his mic a little away from his face, closing his eyes for a moment, as the emotions from singing "Always You" hit him. As always, Blaine has to close his eyes when he got to the line, "When you walked away from me, for the last time, you left me with nothing," because that was a feeling he knew intimately. When he opened his eyes slowly, it was like they were drawn straight to "him."_

_Blaine looked away because at that moment, singing that line; he knew he was only seeing what his heart so wanted him to see. That wasn't him. That wasn't his Kurt, so he made himself look away for a moment before he allowed his eyes to go back. For the first time in four years, Blaine felt like he could breathe again because right there in front of him, was his life._

_He spent the rest of the concert, singing only to him. Blaine didn't care how many warm bodies were in the auditorium tonight, nor how much money they had paid to be here to see him. He couldn't make himself care because his person had finally come. The only person to Blaine at that moment that mattered._

Blaine slowly started to wake up but was fighting so hard not to. He didn't want to wake up. He didn't want to leave the most fantastic dream he had ever had. Usually, he was glad when his dream ended. He had lost track of how many times he had woken up screaming from one, but this dream, this dream had been so very perfect. Quite frankly the most amazing dream Blaine had ever had. He didn't want to move, because moving means he's awake, and the moment he allows himself to be awake, Blaine knows that more than just the dream will be gone. Kurt would be gone all over again, and he didn't know if he could go through that again.

Raising his hands, Blaine rubs his eyes with a deep sigh. _It had been such a perfect dream._ He slowly reached out for his phone. Looking at the time and groaning… five o'clock, wonderful! He thought before sitting up. His internal clock was so out of whack. He knows when this tour ends, when he finally gets to go home again, it will take him forever to get back into a normal sleep pattern. It always does after a long tour. Slowly sitting up, he starts running through his head everything he needs to do before hitting the stage again tonight, so ready for it to be over this time.

While he was sitting there, he felt the bed move beside him, heard someone sigh, and then what felt like someone snuggling back into the pillows. Shit, what had he done? He might call random men for a meet and greet backstage, but he never invited strangers back to his bed, especially when he knows he hadn't been drinking last night. _Please don't tell me Matt decided to show up_, Blaine thought to himself. He closed his eyes for a minute, shaking his head. What the hell happened last night, what had he done? He slowly moved his body so he could see the person lying beside him, his breath hitched, and the biggest smile spread across his face because lying there beside him was Kurt. Last night hadn't all been a dream, Kurt was really there.

Blaine couldn't take his eye off of him. He slowly brought his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them and wrapping his arms around his legs, just sitting there watching Kurt. He used to get so lost watching him as he slept. Kurt awake had always been beautiful, but Kurt, asleep had always been more so. He would always have this look of contentment on his face when he slept that was not always there when he was awake. Blaine had always secretly hoped he was the reason for that look.

Blaine studied Kurt's face, noticing the little changes that had taken place over the years. Kurt had changed from the boy he loved to the man he had become. Blaine hated that he had missed even one of those changes, that he had missed even a second. _What was Kurt's life like now? Was he happy?_ Blaine wonders in the back of his mind if Kurt had missed him as much as he had missed Kurt. They had talked last night, but with a mutual agreement had decided to keep their conversation light. Now he wished they had talked more. He hoped today they would get that chance.

Blaine could have happily sat there all day just staring at the beautiful man "his" Kurt had become but his bladder had other ideas. Blaine slowly stood up trying not to wake Kurt up. Yes, he would love for him to wake up so they could talk. He hated that he was losing even a second of their time together to sleep. Still, since he didn't know what was going to happen when Kurt finally opened those beautiful eyes, whether he would be able to stay or say he had to leave, Blaine selfishly let him sleep. At least that way he could still see him.

Blaine went to the restroom and then went into the living area and pulled out his laptop. He sent his mom and dad a quick email. He didn't get to see them as often as he would like to, between living in California and seeming to always be on tour or in the studio and he missed them. He didn't have much time for himself let alone his family. 

Blaine loved what he did. He enjoyed creating his music and singing on stage. He just really hated touring and that constant feeling of being alone. Having Sam and Tina with him helped, but it just wasn't the same as having someone _with _him.

Hitting send on the email to his parents, Blaine next pulled up his tour schedule, wondering how many more stops they had left on their European tour, and when he could finally go home. He was so ready for it to be over with. He was scheduled for two concerts each in Geneva, Switzerland and Berlin, Germany, one in Rome, Italy and then there would be a three-day break before the last show in Québec City, Canada. After that, he would be heading back to California and getting with his management team to see what was next. If everything went the way Blaine hoped it would, this would be his last tour for a long time, if not for good. Four years was enough.

He then looked at the local news outlets, smiling at the pictures that had been taken of him and Kurt. He saved them to a secret folder on his hard drive that only he has access to. This is where he had saved all the pictures they had taken together at Dalton and McKinley. Blaine then quickly updated his Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook pages. He tried to do it every day. Blaine had a lot of fans, and he always tried to give them what they wanted, which was a little glimpse into his personal life. He knew he wouldn't be where he was today without them.

Before closing the lid on the laptop, he looked at the clock display. It was now 6:30 am Paris time, and if Kurt was still on the same schedule he had always been when they were still together, he should be waking up in about thirty minutes. Blaine stood up and stretched his hands above his head, and then walked over and picked up the phone to dial the number for the concierge desk

"Good morning, Mr. Anderson. What can I help you with?" a polite female voice answered the phone with a thick French accent.

"Yes, ma'am. I was hoping to order breakfast this morning, if possible," Blaine answered.

"Yes, sir. What would you like? " she responded back.

Blaine looked at the room service menu that had been left in his room. He usually didn't take time for breakfast, but today was special. He wanted to share everything with Kurt that they used to, starting with breakfast. 

Thinking back to the summers they spent together, Blaine had always wanted to spoil Kurt by making him breakfast in bed. He would wake up early on Saturday morning, slip down to the Hummel's kitchen and make Kurt strawberry crepes. Blaine had lost track of how many times in his kitchen at home he had practiced making them until they came out perfect before making them for Kurt the first time. He had always wanted everything to be perfect for him.

"Well, I need two orders of your Strawberry Blintzes topped with whipped cream, some fresh fruit, and some croissants. Also, would it be possible to get a medium drip and a non-fat mocha, please?" Blaine asked, closing the menu.

"Yes, sir. We can have that up to you in a few minutes. Is there any particular way you would like your medium drip, sir?" the concierge asked.

"Actually, yes. If possible, can you add a little cream and a shake of cinnamon on it?" Blaine asked with a smile. It had been a long time since he had had his coffee that way. He thinks the last time had been with Kurt at the Lima Bean. He had just stopped drinking it that way, not really sure why.

After ordering breakfast, Blaine reached into his old Dalton messenger bag and pulled out his glasses. Putting them on, he took out his notebook and pen, inspired to write. Usually, when he woke up, he would pull out his old guitar and work on his music. This morning since he didn't want to wake Kurt up, he just started writing down words that were running around in his head.

_I need to get with my manager when this tour is over and see how much longer I had in this contract_, he thought with a sigh. Blaine was tired of touring and tired of going from city to city day after day. He would love just to be able to do what he wanted to do again. He didn’t think it was too much to ask to just be himself, not what others thought he should be.

Blaine was so lost in his writing he hadn't realized how much time had slipped by until he heard a knock on his motel room door. He opened it and smiled at the waiter who pushed the breakfast cart into the room. He pulled some bills out of his wallet, handing them to him with another smile and wishing now he had taken French in school. Kurt used to try to push him to pick that language, but Blaine had always been fascinated with Latin and had opted to go that route. Unfortunately, he never really got a chance to use it.

Waiting for Kurt to wake up, Blaine got lost in his music again, letting the words flow through him. This is the one thing about his life that he loved. He loved creating music, taking just a bunch of different words, stringing them together and creating magic. He had always been able to get lost in the music, even back in high school. Kurt had always given him so much inspiration. He would stare into the beautiful face of the boy he loved and music would just happen.

He had never had a lack of inspiration until the last year Kurt and he were together. it was as if his muse had left him when Kurt did and it had taken him a long time to get that back. It had taken him so very long to get past the pain, the loss, and the feelings buried deep inside himself that he had just not been good enough. To him, Kurt had always been this beacon of light that could light up the world and he had always wondered how long it would take Kurt to realize he could do better than him. Blaine had always prayed it would never happen, and then it did.

Blaine had had to rebuild himself after Kurt left. He had to learn to create his own space that Kurt wasn't the center of and that had been the hardest part and had taken the longest to get used to. Blaine's world had revolved around Kurt for as long as he could remember. Their lives together had begun and ended with Teenage Dream. Sitting there even now five years later, he couldn't shake the pain he felt from their last year together.

Both had made so many mistakes and caused each other so much pain. Sitting there, he realized that the only thing that been missing in his life was asleep in his bed in the other room, but was still no closer than has been the last five years. With a deep sigh, Blaine stood up and stretched. _Man, when did his thoughts get so maudlin?_ He was just about to sit back down and work on his song again to keep his mind focused when he heard the bedroom door open. Blaine turned around, and just like the first time he had ever laid eyes on the man in front of him, he felt like he had been kicked in the gut, and lost his breath. He could do nothing but stare at him.

"Hi," Kurt said, looking at Blaine with a shy smile.

"Hi," Blaine said softly, looking him in the eyes before walking over to him and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Are you hungry? I ordered breakfast," Blaine said, looking at Kurt. He was wondering why all of a sudden, it was hard to talk to Kurt. Kurt had always been the person he could talk to, the person he could say anything to, and now he felt hesitant.

"Yes, I am," Kurt said, following Blaine over to the little table and chairs. He sat down, and just like last night, Blaine served him. This is something Kurt had missed, the feeling of being cared for and loved. Blaine had always wanted to do everything he could for Kurt. Taking a sip of his coffee he could do nothing but smile.

"You remembered," Kurt said with a little shock in his voice.

"Of course, I did. I ordered that same drink for you almost every day for three years. How could I forget?" Blaine asked, staring at Kurt. He was wondering for the hundredth time how Kurt didn't know just how important he had been in Blaine's life and how he could never forget anything about him.

Kurt took a bite of his Blintzes and sighed. They reminded him of the crepes Blaine used to make for him. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the memories. Before Blaine had transferred to McKinley, he would spend the weekends at the Hummel's so he wouldn't have to drive so far. Blaine had always gotten up and cooked crepes for Kurt. These Blintzes took Kurt home.

"So, what are you doing today?" Kurt asked Blaine, not looking up or at Blaine, afraid of what he might see.

"Not sure other than around 5:30-ish I have to head to the concert hall. We have a meet and greet scheduled. Normally we do that after the show, but our flight is leaving a little earlier than normal, so we are doing it this afternoon instead. After that, we will do a run-through of the songs we will be doing tonight," Blaine answered, eating the last bite of strawberry off of his plate. So happy to be this close to Kurt again.

"Where will you be heading out to next?" Kurt asked, taking a sip of his coffee. He felt so shocked that Blaine had remembered what he liked. Kurt had always figured Blaine would have happily forgotten anything having to do with him. Especially after everything he had done, all the pain he had caused him.

"After the concert tonight we head to Geneva, Switzerland. We have two concerts scheduled there. Surprisingly, that makes things easier and it gives me a little breathing space before having to board another plane. Plus I get a little more time to explore. We performed in Dublin last year. By the time we landed, and because of the time the concert had been scheduled for, I only had an hour to explore before I had to go to the concert hall. It sucked so much. You know how much I have always wanted to go to Dublin," Blaine said with a little pout, and then he realized what he had said. Like Kurt was going to remember Blaine's fascination with Dublin. How going there had been on his bucket list, like going to Paris had been on Kurt's.

Blaine had forgotten that even though Kurt had been his world, he had not necessarily been Kurt's. He can still remember all of Kurt’s dreams. They had been talking about everything they hoped to do together after they graduated for so long, how could he not? Everything they wanted to do and the different places they wanted to go "after they were done with Broadway, of course."

The summer between Kurt leaving Dalton and Blaine transferring to McKinley they had spent hours making their list. Blaine even still had it on his phone. Every time he would do something either Kurt or himself had added to the list, he would smile a sad little smile. He had never marked a single thing off his list though, because even though he might have done it, Blaine might have gone there, he hadn't done it with Kurt by his side.

"You'll just have to go back then," Kurt said softly, not looking at Blaine. He had seen the pout and then heard how the cadence in Blaine's voice had changed. Kurt can still remember how Blaine used to go on and on about the different things he wanted to explore when "they" went to Ireland together. He had always gotten this far off look in his eyes when he talked about it. Almost like it was some kind of fairy tale land to explore.

Blaine just looked at Kurt, noticing how he wouldn't look at him. He absolutely hated the distance between them. They were right in front of each other but could have been miles apart. Blaine hated that he felt like he had to be careful with every word he spoke. They used to be able just to talk, to be them. He didn't know what they were now, and he hated it.

"Yeah, I guess I will," Blaine said softly, taking the last sip of his coffee and standing up. "If you will excuse me a minute, I need to go change clothes."

Blaine had to leave the room. He had to walk away because he suddenly couldn't breathe. How could everything feel so right and so wrong at the same time? _His _Kurt was right there in the room with him for the first time in four years, and he felt like he was walking on eggshells around him. It had never been like that before. That was one of the things he had loved most about their relationship. They had always been able to talk to each other about anything, and never had to worry about it. Now everything just felt off.

When he finally walked back into the living area, he noticed that Kurt had stood up and was putting his jacket on, he was about to walk out of his life again.

"Please, don't go," Blaine whispered, tears springing to his eyes. Just like that, he was back in Central Park, watching as Kurt walked away from him. How many times could a person's heartbreak and be able to survive it?

"I just thought it would be better," Kurt whispered back, with tears running down his cheek.

"How could it be better, Kurt? How could you leaving me ever be better?" Blaine almost yelled.

"You just seemed frustrated. I didn't want to get in your way," Kurt answered back.

"You know, one thing I always loved about us, Kurt? It was that we could talk about anything. We never really had to pick our words carefully," Blaine said softly, walking over to Kurt. "We could just be ourselves around each other. I miss that so much, Kurt. I miss you." Raising his hand, he placed it on Kurt's cheek rubbing his thumb slowly back and forth across his cheek, never looking away, getting lost in those eyes all over again.

"I miss that too," Kurt whispered back staring into Blaine's eyes, feeling so at home again.

"Stay with me, Kurt," Blaine said before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on Kurt's lips, feeling that zing he always felt when they kissed. Loving the fact that it was still very much there. "Spend the day with me, please."

"Ok," Kurt whispered back, stepping a little closer, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck before kissing Blaine. Oh, how he had missed this feeling. Feeling like he was where he was meant to be.

"Ok, really?" Blaine said with a smile spreading across his face, beyond excited.

"Yes, really," Kurt said, laughing at Blaine's excitement. He had missed watching Blaine when something happened that made him happy, how he almost bounced. "I do need to stop by my room and take a shower and change clothes if that is ok," Kurt said, looking at Blaine.

"Oh, we can definitely do that," Blaine said, laughing before picking up his phone and wallet. He grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him out the door, not wanting to give him time to change his mind.

They got a cab when they walked out of the door, and Kurt told the driver the name of the motel he was staying at. While Kurt was in the shower, Blaine pulled out his phone and opened up his list and marked off: **Trip to Paris**. Even though they hadn't technically come here together, they were together now. He quickly looked through the list, trying to figure out how much they could get done off the list before he had to go back and get ready for the concert.

The first thing he saw made him smile. Not because of what it was, but because Kurt had added two hearts after it: **The love bridge Pont des Arts.** It was the footbridge that crossed the Seine where millions of padlocks had been placed for years. Kurt had wanted to come to Paris and attach a lock with their names on it. They might not be able to do that, but they could at least go and see the bridge. Look at all the padlocks and then spend a little time at the Louvre. He didn't know how much time they would have after that, but they would just go from there.

Blaine also contacted the driver that had been set up for his use. He wanted to surprise Kurt by where they were going. He didn't want to get in a cab and tell the driver where to go, he wanted the driver just to take them. With a smile on his face, he talked to the driver, explained where he was, what he wanted, and sat back and waited for Kurt.

With a smile on his face, he thinks back to all the times he had waited on Kurt when he was picking him up to drive with him to school, or when they were going on a date. To Blaine, that had always been one of his favorite things. Watching Kurt come down the stairs, seeing what outfit he had come up with that day. Today, Kurt didn't disappoint. He wore a pair of black skinny jeans that left Blaine's mouth-watering, and a light blue button-down shirt that almost matched the color of Kurt's eyes. He could do nothing but stare at him.

"Wow," was all Blaine could say with a soft smile on his face.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered, feeling as his face flooded with color. No one but Blaine had ever made him blush so much.

"You ready?" Blaine was finally able to ask.

"Yeah, let's go," Kurt said, smiling as Blaine reached down and took his hand, guiding him towards the door of his motel room and then over to the elevator.

"Give me a minute, and I will stop by the concierge desk and ask for a cab to be called. It can take a while, most of the time, if you don't," Kurt said, starting to pull away.

"There is no need, we have a car here," Blaine said, looking over at Kurt, before sliding his dark glasses back in place.

Outside waiting for them was a town car and driver. When they got close to the vehicle, the driver opened the door for them. "Mr. Anderson, I think I have everything you requested," he said, handing Blaine a brown paper bag while Kurt slid into the car.

With a smile on his face, Blaine took the bag and said, "Thank you," before following Kurt in the car.

"What are you smiling about?" Kurt asked laughing, loving the look of happiness he saw on Blaine's face.

"Oh, nothing, " Blaine said, leaning over and placing a kiss on Kurt's cheek before he could stop himself. The driver got behind the wheel, and they were soon on their way. Blaine could do nothing but smile, watching as Kurt realized where they were going.

"Blaine?" Kurt whispered, looking from Blaine to where they just pulled up and back at Blaine.

Blaine opened up the bag he was holding and pulled out a padlock and a black sharpie marker. "I know it isn't engraved the way you always said you wanted it to be, but I figured for now this will work," Blaine said, looking down at his hands, all of a sudden not sure anymore.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered, putting his hands on either side of Blaine's face, the way Blaine had done to him hundreds of times before. "It's perfect," Kurt said softly, looking at the lock, feeling as the tears flooded into his eyes. How could he have ever thought he meant nothing to Blaine when he did something like this for him.

Before stepping out of the car, Kurt carefully wrote their names and the date on the front of the lock, and then ‘I love you’ on the back. Stepping out of the car together, they walked across the bridge until they found the perfect place to hang it. Kurt used the key to open the lock and then fastened it to the bridge. And just like millions of people in the past had done, Kurt threw the key away in a nearby trash can, knowing he would never need that key again because he would never want that lock removed.

"I love you, so much," Kurt said through his tears, reaching out to Blaine and pulling him to him, kissing him with everything he had.

"I love you, too," Blaine said between kisses. He had loved Kurt since he was sixteen years old. Blaine had been the first one of them to say those three words and had been the last one to say them as well, but at that moment, he knew that he never meant them more.

They spent the next five hours walking around Paris, enjoying the time they had together, laughing and talking about anything that entered their minds. The duo stopped at a street vendor to grab something for lunch and then continued their walk until with a sigh, Blaine realized it was time for him to head back to his motel to start getting ready for his show tonight. He wasn't prepared for this day to end. They still had so much they needed to talk about, so much they still needed to figure out.

They met the driver at the prearranged place and headed back to Blaine's hotel. He hadn't let go of Kurt's hand more than a couple of times all day long, and he wasn't looking forward to when he had too.

"Do you want to go upstairs with me and order something for dinner before it's time to head to the concert hall?" Blaine asked questioningly. He wanted Kurt to stay with him but wanted to make sure that Kurt wanted to be with him.

"I would love to," Kurt said, smiling when he saw the happy expression that crossed Blaine's face.

When they got to the room, Blaine handed Kurt the room service menu and told him to decide on what he wanted while he went and changed for tonight. Kurt was still looking at the menu when Blaine walked back out. Kurt looked up, and his mouth dropped. He was used to Blaine, the way he used to dress. The boy he had loved from the moment he saw him at Dalton, but the man standing in front of him was so different.

Blaine had slipped on a pair of skin-tight blue jeans that had both knees ripped out, leaving nothing but the strings attached, and a skin-tight black t-shirt. That wasn't what got to him, though, because Blaine had outlined his eyes with dark black eyeliner that made his eyes pop and seem so much brighter.

When Kurt had walked into Blaine's dressing room the night before, Blaine had already cleaned his face and changed clothes. Kurt couldn't begin to tell you what Blaine had had on the night before because he hadn't been able to take his eyes off of his face. But standing there now looking at Blaine, he was lost. How could he ever hope the Blaine standing in front of him now, could be interested in him. It made him almost want to cry. He had gotten his hopes up that they could make it, but why would this Blaine want him when he could have anyone he wanted.

"Kurt, sweetheart, what’s wrong?" Blaine asked walking up to Kurt and wrapping his arms around him, pulling him close. Kurt wouldn't look at him, so Blaine put his index finger under Kurt's chin and gently pushed up until Kurt looked at him.

"It's nothing Blaine, nothing is wrong," Kurt whispered.

"Kurt, you know I was always able to tell when you weren't telling me something. What's going on?" Blaine asked, looking at him concerned.

"It's nothing Blaine. Seriously, nothing’s wrong except I am starving all of a sudden," Kurt said smiling at Blaine. He had always been a good actor, even though he hadn't acted since high school.

"Are you sure, Kurt?" Blaine asked, still feeling like something was off, but not wanting to push Kurt away by keep asking him.

"I'm positive, now feed me," Kurt said, laughing, and he felt a little better as he saw the smile spread across Blaine's face.

When their dinner was delivered, they both sat down on the couch to eat instead of at the table. Kurt and Blaine both decided on club sandwiches, chips, and diet coke, so they just got comfortable sitting close together and talking like they used too, laughing and enjoying themselves. Before long, though, they were talking about their last year together, the laughter died and the smiles disappeared. Blaine hadn't wanted to get into this tonight. They had such little time with each other left, but they both knew it was needed. If they had any hope of building a future with each other, they had to fix their past.

Kurt was the first to speak, because, to him, he was the biggest cause of what had happened between them. It had taken him a while to face what he had done and accept the blame for the decisions he had made. He just hoped by talking they could fix what was wrong.

"Blaine, I owe you an apology. When I talked to you, and told you why I started dating Adam when you first came to New York, I thought the reason I gave you was the real one. I know what I said hurt you, and I am sorry for that, I am. There was more to it, though. I know what I told you as to why I did what I did, and in my head I really thought that was why." He took a calming breath before continuing. "When I moved to London, I was really depressed. I missed you so much, and I knew it was my fault because I had destroyed us. I went and talked to a therapist. She helped me see the real reason. I told her all about you, how we met, how you were this amazing person, and through therapy, I learned that I never felt like I was good enough for you, that you were just settling for me." Tears were now falling down his face. Kurt was determined to talk about this though, so with another fortifying breath, he continued.

"I know you always said you loved me, and part of me believed you, but the other part couldn't see why you would want me. I was _nothing_. I just knew in my heart that when you got to New York, you would find all these other people who would show you what you were missing by being with me. That you could do so much better. Instead of waiting for you to realize you were making a mistake by being with me, I did what I did. I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself for that," Kurt said, breaking down with tears streaming down his face.

Blaine stood up, looking at him. "Not good enough for me, Kurt? Not good enough? Don't you realize you were my world, my reason to breathe? I always felt like I wasn't good enough for you. That is why I was so scared of you going to New York without me. I just knew you were going to realize what you had been missing being with _me_. I knew you were going to wake up one morning and realize I wasn't what you thought I was. You were going to figure out that you didn't need me anymore and that I was just your stupid high school boyfriend, the person _you _had had to settle for." Blaine calmed himself down some and went to kneel in front of Kurt.

"I know I went out with Adam a few times, but that never amounted to anything because he wasn't you. I went two years before I asked anyone out again. I met someone at one of my concerts and took him out the next day. I kissed him goodbye and broke down on the way back to the motel. Even though you and I had been broken up for two years, you were still the only person I was ever supposed to kiss. I waited another six months before I asked Bradon out. We dated almost a year, he lived with me even, but he broke up with me because I couldn't have sex with him. Once again, that was something I wasn't supposed to do with anyone but you. Matt and I broke up right before this tour started. I had cared about him, but not enough to care when he left. I know that sounds shitty, but that is how I felt." Blaine made sure Kurt was looking at him in the eyes. This was important and Kurt needed to see that Blaine meant every word he was about to say.

"What I am really trying to say, is every person I have ever gone out with hasn't worked out because, Kurt, they weren't you. I compared everyone to you. The way you laughed, the way you carried yourself. You were my everything. How could you possibly think you weren't good enough for me?" Blaine said, staring at Kurt, tears running down his face.

"What did I ever do to make you feel like that, Kurt? I thought you knew how much I loved and _needed _you. I would have given you everything. I would have given my life for you," Blaine whispered, now completely falling apart. He stood up, turned his back on Kurt and walked to the balcony so he could get some air. It felt like all the air in the room had been sucked out, leaving nothing behind.

"You didn't do anything, Blaine, you really didn't. It was me; it was always me. You always treated me like I was the most precious thing in your life. You gave me more love than I deserved," Kurt said, walking up behind him. "I thought back to high school, back to when I was texting Chandler. In a way, I think my issues might have started there. I know why you pulled away from me those few weeks, I do. You were trying to prepare yourself for when I wouldn't be around anymore, but in the back of my mind, I think I thought that you were doing that because you wanted to be with Sebastian. He was so much more on your level than I was. You guys had the same kind of background, and you two seemed to have so much more in common than we ever could." Admitting his mistakes hurt. They didn’t hurt as bad as losing Blaine had though, and he wanted to lay everything out on the table.

"I think I texted Chandler to see what you would do, to see if you would use it as an excuse to break up with me so that you could be with Sebastian. How juvenile is that? Then I had to see your face when you were looking at my phone, how hurt and devastated you looked. I had to hear you sing that song in glee, and I saw then what _I _had done to you. And I thought ok, he does love me, I am the person he wants to be with. Then the doubts crept back in the minute I hit New York, and you weren't there." His stupidity and childishness was being laid bare, there for Blaine and the universe to see. It felt refreshing and terrible all at the same time.

"I didn’t know what to do or how to handle things, so I pushed you away. I stopped taking your calls and started hanging out with Adam. Blaine, I am so, so sorry. I can never fully express how sorry I really am. When you showed up at my door and told me you had cheated, it was like I got my validation for going out with Adam. You had been with someone else. Therefore, it couldn't be me you really wanted. I had been right to start dating someone else, that way I wouldn't be alone," Kurt said, leaning on the railing around Blaine's balcony.

"Can I ask, did you really not sleep with Adam? When he talked about you, he told me that you were high maintenance, but at least you were good in bed," Blaine said looking at him with a sad look on his face.

"Blaine, I can honestly tell you that you are the last person I have been with, the only person I have ever been with. Me and Adam went out, we messed around, but that was it. Like I told you at NYADA that day, I might have done some things I am not proud of, but I have never lied to you. I never slept with him. I couldn't, I just couldn't. You were my world too Blaine. I don't know how everything got so out of control, I just felt so very lost,” Kurt whispered. "Can you ever forgive me for everything I did."

"Kurt, I forgave you a long time ago. Your last day at NYADA when you told me goodbye, I stood there for a few minutes, thinking about what that goodbye meant. I didn't want you to go. I ran after you. I checked every class I thought you would be in, and I didn't find you. I ran to your apartment. Rachel answered and told me I had missed you that your plane should have left ten minutes before that." Blaine was panting, remembering that day like it was yesterday. He remembered the pain and the determination he had felt as he ran all over the city trying to find his one and only love.

"I tried calling you, only to find out you had disconnected your number the day before. Rachel finally told me that you had had your phone disconnected because you knew you would need to get a new number when you got to London anyway. I begged her to give me your new number when she got it, and she told me she couldn't, that you had told her not to. Kurt, I _begged _everyone that I thought might have your new number to give it to me, I just needed to talk to you. I needed you to come back to me, to be with me like we used to be. I even went as far as to call Burt. Everyone told me the same thing that Rachel did, that you had made them promise not to give it to me. God, I was so hurt by that Kurt. Beyond being my boyfriend, you were my best friend and you didn't even want to talk to me anymore. I even sent you a letter to the school you said you were going to be going to, only to have it returned with 'Student Unknown' written on the outside." Blaine had started to calm down from the panic he had phantomly felt at retelling how he had searched for Kurt and been told he no longer wanted anything to do with him.

"You were gone out of my life, and I just needed you back. I didn’t care if it was only just as a friend. I needed you in my life, but I faced dead end after dead end everywhere I turned. I finally gave up, and tried to move on," Blaine said looking at Kurt.

"I'm sorry about that, Blaine. I thought it would be easier to face a world without you if I could convince myself you didn't call me because you didn't have my number instead of you just not wanting me anymore. I was given that letter right after I got to school, but I was too afraid to open it. Afraid of what it might say, so I had the secretary of the school write that I wasn't there, and send it back to you," Kurt said, looking out over the railing again, not able to look at Blaine.

"In what world would I ever not want you? Even when I was mad at you, I still wanted you. I needed you more than I wanted you, and you were just gone. I have never felt so lost in my life. I know I made mistakes, too. I pushed you away, because hearing you had cheated on me hurt so bad, but then it hit me, I had done the same thing. It didn't matter who cheated first, we were both guilty, and it took me way too long to realize that. I hope you can forgive me," Blaine said, never meaning it more.

"Blaine, I forgave you long ago. As you said, we both messed up and made mistakes. I let my insecurities in your love for me make me do so many things I regret," Kurt said, looking at him.

"Now what do we do, Kurt? Where do we go from here? I can't go back to a life without you in it in some form, even if I have to settle for you just being my friend," Blaine said looking at Kurt. He needed him to know how serious he was

"Do you mean that Blaine? Do you really mean that? Because I want everything, I just don't know how to make this work. You’re on tour right now and I live in London," Kurt said, starting to feel hope for the first time in five years.

"I think if we try hard, we can make it work. I want everything with you too Kurt. I would settle for being your friend if that is all I can get, but I want so much more, I want you," Blaine said, whispering pulling Kurt into his arms, holding him tightly, kissing him the way he had wanted since he saw him in the audience last night.

A knock on the door brought Blaine back to reality. Well his reality, looking down at his watch, and he saw, it was already 5:15. "Shit, I need to leave for the concert hall in like fifteen minutes. We need to go over our set for tonight," Blaine said walking away from Kurt, to answer the door.

"Are you ready to go, Blainey?" Sam asked with a grin, walking in the room, stopping when he saw Kurt standing on the balcony. "Oh… wow. Kurt… good to see you, dude."

Kurt could tell by looking at Sam he didn't feel like that. He knew that Sam and Tina weren't happy with him. The last time he had gone home to Lima, he ran into Santana, and she had gone off on him. She had finally cooled off but warned him not to expect a friendly welcome from Sam and Tina. They were both still mad about the break-up and what he had done to Blaine in New York.

"Hi, Sam. It's good to see you too," Kurt said, looking at him. They used to be friends, way back when. "Blaine, I guess I need to head out. It was really good catching up with you again," Kurt said softly, walking past Sam and heading to the door.

"Kurt… Please don't go. Sam, I will meet you in the limo in ten minutes, let me grab a few things and I will see you downstairs ok," Blaine said, looking at Sam. He was grateful to Sam for always being there for him, but he wasn't ready to lose Kurt yet.

"Ok, see you downstairs in ten," Sam said, looking at Kurt shaking his head before walking out the door.

"Blaine, I need to go, you have a concert to get to, and I know you have things you need to do," Kurt said, looking at Blaine, so not ready to leave.

"Please, come with me. I have to rehearse the songs we are going to do tonight, but usually, there are thirty minutes between rehearsal and when the concert starts. Plus, there is the opening act that normally plays for at least thirty minutes before I go on. Please come to the concert with me. You can be backstage, and we can talk. I don't want you to walk out of my life again, Kurt. I need you in it. Please," Blaine said, not afraid to beg for something that was this important.

"Ok, I'll go with you. We do still need to figure us out," Kurt said with a smile on his face looking at Blaine.

"Thank you," Blaine said, leaning in to place a soft kiss on Kurt's lips, before turning around, bouncing into the bedroom to grab his guitar, phone, and keys, he then grabbed Kurt's hand as he walked back towards the door. Usually, when the last concert at a location was finished, Blaine was ready to head out to the next venue, but not this time. This time he was where he so needed to be. Tonight was going to be the best night of his life…

A/N: In June of 2014, part of the Pont des Arts bridge had to be closed when one of its metal grills collapsed, lugged down by the locks. In May of 2015, the city council decided to remove all of the padlocks (45 tons in total) and install panels to prevent people from fixing new ones. In my story, they are still there, of course, because that just seemed like something Kurt would have had on his bucket list, and it was a wish Blaine would help him fulfill.


	8. Another Goodbye

A/N: Thank you once again to my amazing Beta JayHawkWrites. Thank you for the likes, follows, and Kudos I have gotten on this story, and also to everyone reading it. Thank you for taking the time with my story.

oOoOo

Before shutting the door of the motel room for the last time, Blaine looked around to make sure he wasn’t leaving anything behind like he always did before leaving a room. Blaine didn’t necessarily have to do this, though. He knew that Joey from his road crew would be in later to bring down his suitcase and take it to the airport with the rest of the crew’s luggage. Joey was really good about double-checking the rooms, making sure nothing was left behind. Still, his mom had always taught Blaine to always take a minute and double-check on his own. With a soft sigh, Blaine shut the door and then reached for Kurt’s hand, intertwining their fingers as they started walking down the hall. Blaine knew he was going to miss that room, not so much the room itself, but what had happened in it. He had been able to reconnect with Kurt in a way he had almost given up hope of ever being able to do again.

At the elevator, Blaine pushed the button to go down and then leaned over to place a soft kiss on Kurt’s lips. He wasn’t ready to let him go, wasn’t ready to say goodbye. He had just gotten Kurt back. How was he ever supposed to say goodbye to him? “I love you,” Blaine whispered, wrapping his arms around Kurt, wanting to hold him for a few more minutes.

“I love you, too,” Kurt whispered back, reaching up his hand to wipe a tear off of his cheek before wrapping his arms around Blaine. Kurt had missed this so much, had missed Blaine.

When the elevator arrived, they pulled apart and Blaine reached down to hold Kurt’s hand again as they walked into the elevator and pushed the lobby button. “Are you ready?” Blaine asked as the elevator stopped and the doors slowly opened. Kurt looked at Blaine and nodded his head, even though he knew he would never be ready for this again. He knew he would never again be ready for the separation or the saying goodbye. They had done enough of that in the time they had known each other.

“Mr. Anderson, we hoped you enjoyed your stay with us, and we look forward to your next visit,” Henre’ the hotel manager said, walking up to Blaine as they stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby.

“Thank you so much for making our stay comfortable. If our tour ever brings us back to Paris, we will be sure to book our accommodations here,” Blaine said, shaking hands with the gentleman.

“We would be honored to have you, sir,” Henre’ said with a smile and a small bow. Blaine’s crew had been one of the best-behaved bands they had ever had. Henre’ had been here when the rock group Aftershock had stayed for two days, and when they had left, it was discovered that their rooms had been torn apart. Blaine’s group had all been well mannered and quiet with no disturbances at all.

Blaine thanked the gentleman one more time before sliding his dark sunglasses back on his face and heading for the revolving door. He had already spotted the paparazzi waiting outside. Blaine plastered his stage smile on his face and waved, the whole time holding on to Kurt’s hand, guiding him towards the waiting limousine. Blaine stood back, waiting for Kurt to get into the car, before following him in and sitting down.

“So, Kurt, I have to say I’m surprised to see you here,” Tina said with hatred in her voice.

“I know, it’s been a while. How are you doing, Tina?” Kurt asked. He had known he would have to face her eventually but had hoped it wouldn’t be tonight. Tina and Kurt used to be friends when they were at McKinley together. They had been one of the five original members of the New Directions. He had known that lines had been drawn between their friends when he broke up with Blaine. Most of their friends had sided with Blaine, even though they had known Kurt longer. He couldn’t really say he blamed them. If Blaine had just been his friend, and someone had treated him that way, Kurt would have hated them. Sam and Tina, of course, had sided with Blaine, and thus had been witness to the destruction Kurt had caused.

Kurt regrets everything he did during that time. The thing he regrets the most, though, was that he hadn’t taken the time to pick up the phone and check on his ‘friend’ after the school shooting. Burt had told Kurt that he had seen Blaine and that he had made it out ok, but Kurt hadn’t stopped to think of the emotional toll that the shooting must have had on Blaine. Kurt can still remember the voicemail Blaine had left for him after probably the sixth time trying to reach out to him and never getting through. Blaine had said goodbye for the last time. “_I honestly thought you would have cared enough to at least call to check on the person you once said was your ‘best friend.’ Don’t worry, you will never hear from me again after this_,” and Kurt hadn’t.

“Oh, I’m doing just fucking fantastic Kurt. It’s been so much fun over the last five years helping my best friend pick up the pieces of his broken heart after his asshole of a boyfriend dumped him,” Tina said sneering at Kurt, hate flashing in her eyes.

“Tina, please,” Blaine said, looking at her.

“Tina, please what, Blaine? Tina, please stand back and watch him fuck you over again? Tina, please be there when he does it again?” Tina says, looking at Blaine, and then back at Kurt.

“I’m never going to hurt him again, Tina. I am _never _going to say goodbye to him again,” Kurt said looking at her, squeezing Blaine’s hand.

Tina laughed, “How many times have we heard that before, Kurt, huh?” Tina asked, no longer laughing and looking Kurt straight in his eyes.

“I know, Tina. I know I have a lot to make up for, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for every pain, every hurt I have ever caused him. I know it doesn’t help, but I have been hurt as well,” Kurt said, still looking at her.

“You’re right, Kurt, that doesn’t mean a damn thing to me,” she said before shutting her mouth and looking out the limousine window. She didn’t say another word until they got to the concert hall.

When the limousine pulled up outside of the venue, the driver walked around and opened the door. Tina stepped out of the car first holding a clipboard and took off. Blaine stepped out next and looked around to make sure it was clear for Kurt to get out, then stepped back to help him out of the car.

“I’m sorry about that,” Blaine whispers, placing a kiss on Kurt’s cheek.

“No, I get it. I deserve everything she just said, and I meant what I said, too. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. I don’t know how, but I will,” Kurt said looking at Blaine with determination in his eye.

“Kurt…” Blaine started, but Kurt shook his head.

“No, Blaine…” Kurt said only to be interrupted, this time by Tina.

“Kurt, if you think you could move now, we have a lot we need to do to get ready for tonight’s show,” Tina said as she walked back to them. “Blaine, just let me know who you want me to bring backstage for you after tonight’s show,” she said with a smirk, shooting one more look at Kurt before turning around and walking away.

“What did she mean by ‘_just let me know who you want me to bring backstage for you?’” _Kurt asked, looking at Blaine. He was almost sure he knew the answer to that question but just hoped Blaine would deny it.

“Kurt, I’m going to explain this to you and it’s something I need you to understand, even if you might not like it. Actually, I know you won’t like it. I have been so lost for the last five years. Tina would schedule a meet and greet for me after every show. I would meet fans and sign autographs. I was in Nevada one night, and I looked out in the audience, and I saw this guy named Alex. I was in a vulnerable state that night. It was the second anniversary of you breaking up with me. I looked out and saw him. I guess it hit me that you and I were never going to get back together. You were never going to want me back again. To be honest, Kurt, I just got tired of being alone. I decided that night to have Tina ask him backstage for me. That was the first time I had done that. I took him out for dinner the next night and when I took him home, I kissed him goodnight. Kurt, it felt so wrong kissing him. Like I said last night, even though we were broken up, you were still the only person I was ever supposed to kiss.” He knew this was going to be hard for Kurt to hear, but he didn’t want there to be any secrets between them.

“I didn’t do it again for six months, but then I thought I might be ready to try again. I would look into the audience, find someone that interested me and ask Tina to bring him backstage for me. Every man I ever had her bring back to me was the complete opposite of you. They always had dark hair, dark eyes, and tanned skin. I knew that if I was with someone who looked too much like you, I would never be able to go through with it. I needed that much of a difference just to make it through. I know how bad that must sound to you, but that is what I had to do just to survive,” Blaine said, reaching down to grab both of Kurt’s hands and then raising them to his lips to place a kiss on the knuckles of each.

“Did you sleep with all of them?” Kurt quietly asked, dying just a little inside and praying that Blaine was going to say no. He was silently hoping that he hadn’t been sleeping around with dozens of men. That thought alone hurt Kurt more than he would ever be able to say, even though he had no right to judge. He had given up that right five years ago.

“No, Kurt. Sweetheart, no. You’re the last man I made love to, remember last night I told you that that is why Bradon broke up with me. We broke up because I could never have sex with him.” Blaine said, looking at Kurt, trying to get him to understand. Blaine was upset with Tina for making that comment, and he understood that she was just trying to protect him, but…

“What about Matt?” Kurt asked.

“Kurt, it was the same thing with Matt in a way. I was never able to give myself entirely to him, either. I’m not saying that I have lived like a monk. I have done other things, just not that. Matt and I had been pulling apart for months. We weren’t getting along, but to be honest, it was easier having him there. Dealing with his shit was easier than being alone. I hated being on the road alone; that is why Matt always came with me. Yes, Tina and Sam have been there, but it wasn’t the same as having someone _with_ me, Kurt,” Blaine said, hoping he was explaining himself well enough so Kurt wouldn’t leave him again. He needed to have a few words with Tina. That whole incident had been uncalled for. Blaine didn’t want to talk with her in front of Kurt though, they would discuss it tonight on the plane to Geneva.

Blaine looked at Kurt, willing him to understand. He placed his finger under Kurt’s chin, gently pushing up so Kurt would have to look at him. “Kurt, I have missed you every day since the day you told me goodbye. You have always been in my thoughts. Every time I went somewhere or saw something we talked about doing, I thought of you.”

“After everything I have done to you... after everything I have put you through, how can you still want me back?” Kurt asked. So many times he had dreamed about this day. Blaine would say he wanted him back, and here he was; and Kurt was so afraid to believe.

“Kurt, I have been in love with you since I was sixteen years old. You have always been the most important person in my life. I found out the hard way that I _could_ technically live without you, but I don’t ever want to have to again. I need you in my life, Kurt. If I have to settle for just being your friend, so be it. Do I want more from you? Yes. Will I always want more from you? Hell yes. But Kurt, if friendship is all you are able to offer me, then I will gladly take that as long as I have the right again to pick up the phone and talk to you the way we used to. I know there are a lot of things that have gone wrong between us, but I think we are worth fighting for._ You_ are worth fighting for,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt again.

Kurt pulled away and looked at Blaine, “You’re worth it too, Blaine. And you’re right, _we_ are worth it. I would be happy just to be friends again, but I want more, too.”

“Blaine, it’s time for your warm-up,” Sam said, walking up to them. Sam hadn’t been as verbal in his distrust of Kurt, but Kurt could tell by looking at him that he didn’t like Kurt being around Blaine. Kurt knew that Sam and Tina both just wanted to protect Blaine, and Kurt was glad that he had someone with him that cared about him.

“On my way, Sam,” Blaine said, placing another kiss on Kurt’s lips before reaching down, grabbing Kurt’s hand and walking with him into the auditorium.

“Wow, I can’t believe how big this place is,” Kurt said. He had seen the show last night, and could tell that the place was packed, but he couldn’t really understand just how big the auditorium was. The place looked massive when it was empty. Last night had been a sold-out show. Kurt had barely gotten his ticket. If it hadn’t been for a connection with one of the designers Kurt worked with, he wouldn’t have. He had also been lucky that his seat had been close enough to the front that Blaine had seen him.

Kurt wonders what would have happened if Blaine hadn’t seen him and Kurt had gotten up the nerve to try and see Blaine instead. Would one of the security team have just let him pass? Blaine had said that he was ‘on the list’ at all his concerts. Does he say that at every concert, or did he just say it because he had seen Kurt?

Blaine walked out on stage and did the first mic check of the night. He always loved this part, being on stage, he always felt at home there. There had been a time in Blaine’s life when he hadn’t felt like he belonged anywhere. Dalton and Kurt had changed that, and in the process changed him. Blaine had found himself. Kurt had always pushed him to do better, even if he didn’t realize it. He had always made Blaine feel like he could do anything.

“Testing one, two, testing,” Blaine said, holding the mic looking up into the balcony where one of his road crew was making sure the speakers were hooked up correctly. They did this first thing every night, even if they had performed in the same location the night before. They had made the mistake of not doing it once. It had been the first year Blaine had been on tour, he was in the middle of his set, when all sound stopped. From that time on, they always took the extra time to check everything. None of them ever wanted something like that to happen again.

John gave Blaine a thumbs up, letting him know that everything was sounding the way it should. Blaine started running through the songs he would be performing tonight, watching as John went through the lighting check next. Making sure they had the spotlight positioned in the correct place, so Blaine would know where his mark was, not that he generally stayed there. Blaine would sometimes be too full of energy to stay still, very reminiscent of a Dalton Blaine. He always wanted to make sure he gave the people in his audience what they had paid for.

Blaine was sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage playing his guitar, lost in his own world, singing when a thought hit him. “Hey Sam, I want to add ‘For You’ to the list tonight,” Blaine said, turning on his stool, looking back at Sam.

“Are you sure Blaine? You never want to sing that song,” Sam said, looking at Blaine with a shocked look on his face.

“Yeah, I’m positive. What do you think about putting it in between ‘Now or Never’ and ‘Say Goodbye’?” Blaine asked, figuring ‘For You’ would fit perfectly between them.

“Let’s run through it a few times. We don’t play it that often,” Sam said with a small smile. ‘For You’ had been one of Blaine’s breakout songs, one of the ones that had put him on the map. Blaine didn’t play it very often because of what it was about. He always said it brought back too many memories.

The last time he had played that song, they had been on the bus between venues when Blaine had decided to have a drunken bender. He had asked Sam to call Kurt for him because he couldn’t figure out how his phone worked. Sam had told Blaine that he didn’t have Kurt’s number. Blaine had looked at Sam with the saddest puppy dog eyes he had ever seen and said: “_Ohs yesh. Ishright. Doeshn’t have it cause he doeshn’t lovesh me yanymore, doesh he_?” Blaine had said, slurring his words. He didn’t really allow himself to get drunk often, not since he had gotten drunk in high school and kissed Rachel. That particular night had been rough on Blaine, and he just needed to forget for a while. He needed to be able to let go and for a few hours forget.

They played through the set three times before they had it sounding the way Blaine wanted it to. Occasionally he would look out into the auditorium just to make sure Kurt was still there. When he sang ‘For You’ the last time during rehearsal, he sang it directly to Kurt. That song had been written for him so long ago. It was only right to play it again with Kurt sitting in the audience.

“Hey, Blaine? Are you ready for the meet and greet? I have the group ready when you are,” Tina said, walking out on the stage, ever-present clipboard held in her hands. She might not like Kurt being here, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from doing her job. She had been working as Blaine’s assistant since his very first concert, and she wasn’t going to stop doing her best now.

“Yeah. Do you want to bring them out here so they can have their pictures taken on stage, or do you think it would be better backstage?” Blane asked as he stopped playing and turned on his stool to face her.

“If you want, I can bring them out here,” Tina said, starting to turn around.

“Hey, Tina. Thank you for everything you do for me, by the way. I know I don’t say it enough, but thank you,” Blaine said and stood up to hug her. Yes, they still had to talk tonight, but he was glad that Tina was in his life.

“Ahh, Blainey Days,” Tina said with a soft smile before turning around and walking back off the stage to get the group of people that Blaine would be meeting.

Kurt sat back in the seat he had been given for the night and watched the group that Tina brought out. One of the men caught his attention right away. He was really good looking, and couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of Blaine. Kurt swears he can see him running his eyes up and down Blaine’s body, checking out every inch of him he could. It takes everything Kurt has to stay in his seat and not jump up and yell, “Keep your eyes off of my man.”

That’s when it hits Kurt that Blaine isn’t his man. They had done a lot of talking, had said they wanted to be in each other's lives, and had told each other they wanted everything again, but the question of being boyfriends again hadn’t come up. Kurt wonders if they will just fall into it like they did when they first started dating. Neither one of them had asked the other to be their boyfriend, they just were. Should Kurt assume the same thing now? Before Blaine gets on his plane tonight, Kurt had a question he needed to ask him. With that, Kurt sat back and watched as ‘cute guy’ got a little too close to Kurt’s guy. The smile on his face somehow reminded Kurt of Sebastian, and he wanted to stand up and rip that smile off of ‘cute guys’ face.

Kurt watched as ‘cute guy’ leaned in and said something in Blaine’s ear. Blaine smiled and then pointed to where Kurt was sitting in the auditorium. Blaine smiled even bigger. Kurt doesn’t know what Blaine had just said to him, but the guy didn’t even wait for the rest of the group to leave. He turned almost like he was looking at Kurt, and then turned the rest of the way around and walked off the stage. Blaine spent a few more minutes with the group and then Tina ushered them off stage.

Blaine walked to the edge of the stage and then jumped down. He walked over to Kurt with a smile still on his face. “Hey, beautiful. Do you want to come with me for a few minutes?” Blaine asked, holding his hand out for him, just like he did all those years ago without any hesitation. Kurt reached his hand up and felt warmth spread over him as Blaine grasped it, helping Kurt to stand. Blaine placed a kiss on Kurt’s cheek and then guided him to the backstage area and through the maze of hallways to the room Kurt had been led to the night before. Blaine reached out and opened the door, and then stood back and waited for Kurt to walk in, before following him and shutting the door.

Blaine walked over to Kurt and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. He would never get tired of having Kurt back in his arms. Blaine leaned down and placed a soft, sweet kiss on Kurt’s lips. He wanted to do so much more, and had wanted to since last night when he had finally had Kurt back in his bed, but Blaine settled for a kiss. He was happy to have Kurt back in his arms, back in his life. Just like their first time, Blaine knew when he finally made love with Kurt again, it would be special. No matter how much he wanted to, it wouldn’t be with Kurt pushed up against a door in a dusty dressing room. It would be somewhere where Blaine could take his time and show Kurt just how much he loved him, how special he was, and how much Blaine had missed him. Every inch of Blaine screamed to be as close to Kurt as he could get, but he refused to rush this. They weren’t technically official yet, well, except in Blaine’s heart, that is.

“So, what did you think?” Blaine asked, walking over to the dressing table that had been supplied for him. He sat down and started re-applying his eyeliner which was the only stage makeup he ever wore. Blaine pointed to another chair for Kurt to sit down.

“You were fantastic, Blaine. You owned that stage. It was almost like you were born just for that. You have always been amazing, but now you're just…” Kurt stopped, not knowing how to explain what he wanted to say.

Blaine looked at him and smiled. “Thank you,” Blaine said looking at Kurt through the mirror. Those words from Kurt meant more to him than any sold-out concert he had ever had or every record he had ever sold. Kurt’s was the one opinion Blaine had always valued above everyone else's. His opinion had always meant the most.

“Can I ask you something?” Kurt asked while looking at Blaine in the mirror

“Kurt, you can always ask me anything,” Blaine answered him, turning around so that he could face Kurt again.

“What did that guy on stage say to you?” Kurt asked.

“What guy?” Blaine asked, not knowing which guy Kurt was talking about, there had been five men in the group for the meet and greet.

“The one that got really close to you before he left the stage,” Kurt said, hating that he was so jealous.

“Oh, him. He was just asking if I would be interested in getting together with him later. He tried to slip me his number. I told him that I had a boyfriend, but thanks for asking,” Blaine answered, looking at Kurt like it was no big deal that he had just said he had a boyfriend.

“You have a boyfriend?” Kurt asked softly, not looking at Blaine. He was doing everything he could not to break down crying.

“Of course I do silly, he is in this room with me,” Blaine said with a smile on his face. “Who else would I be talking about?” Blaine asked, really confused now. Had he misjudged Kurt and the conversations they had had?

“I’m your boyfriend?” Kurt asked, his eyes getting big and a grin spreading across his face.

Blaine just laughed before standing up and walking over to Kurt. He knelt in front of Kurt, reached his hands up so that he could frame Kurt’s face. “I guess I kind of forgot to ask you a very important question, didn’t I?” Blaine said with a laugh, leaning in to place a quick kiss on Kurt’s lips. “I guess we aren’t those teenagers anymore who just ‘knew’ what we were. This needs to be official so you will never have another doubt. Kurt Hummel, will you do me the honor of becoming my boyfriend again?”

“_YES…_” Kurt said, laughing, throwing himself into Blaine's arms. “One hundred percent yes.” Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine. It had been a long time since Kurt felt this free. He was back in Blaine’s arms, back in his life where he had always been meant to be, and they were official once more.

A knock on the door interrupted them. “Mr. Anderson, you have fifteen minutes,” one of the runners said before shutting the door back.

“I have a question for you now, sweetheart. Can I have my boyfriend's number again, please?” Blaine said with a smile on his face, feeling happier than he had in a long time.

“Only if I can have my boyfriends as well,” Kurt said laughing and then handed his phone to Blaine like he had the very first time they ever exchanged phone numbers. He watched as Blaine entered his number into Kurt’s phone before passing it back to him. Kurt texted a message to Blaine so that he would have Kurt’s number.

Blaine took one look at his phone, before looking up at Kurt, “I love you, too, sweetheart. More than you will ever know.”

Blaine stood up and then reached out his hand to help Kurt stand. “You ready for this?” Blaine asked as they walked toward the door. Kurt could only smile as he remembered the last time Blaine had asked him that same question. Kurt nodded his head as he followed Blaine out the door, knowing in his heart that he would follow Blaine anywhere.

Blaine guided Kurt to one of the stage runners and asked her to take Kurt to his seat. Blaine quickly kissed Kurt one more time before turning around and heading in the other direction towards the stage door. Blaine could hear the final chords of his opening acts last song, and with a smile on his face, he walked towards the stage. He waited for a few minutes for his band to get where they needed to before plastering a smile on his face and walking towards the mic. “Let the show begin,” Blaine thought.

“_Heelllooo, Paris_,” Blaine said as his band started playing the first few chords of the song he would be starting with tonight. “Thank you to everyone that came out to see us tonight. I hope you enjoy the show.”

Blaine sang and jumped and performed with more energy that night than he ever had. He was happy, truly happy for the first time in a very long time, and he knew a certain person out in the audience was the reason for that. Blaine did his whole set and then pulled a barstool to the center of the stage. “I have a new song I want to perform for you tonight. I started writing this song just this morning, actually. For the first time in a very long time, I got my inspiration back. I sat down at first just to kill some time when a song started running through my head, and it had to be written down. I have never performed this song before, and even my band hasn’t heard it yet, sorry guys,” Blaine said, turning around looking at them apologetically. He saw the look on Sam’s face, almost like ‘what the hell?’ “I hope you enjoy it,” Blaine said as he pulled his guitar into place and started playing what he, for now, was calling ‘Kurt’s Song.’

“_You came into my life again, just when I needed you the most_…”

Blaine finished singing his newest song, and could only smile when every person in the room started clapping and screaming. At that moment, Blaine knew he had his next hit, but the only opinion he really needed was standing front row, center, with the biggest smile Blaine had ever seen spread across his face. Hearing his Kurt scream with joy made Blaine’s heart swell. God, how he loved that man.

“Thank you, again, for coming out to see us tonight. We hope you have enjoyed yourselves and that you will join us again the next time we come back,” Blaine said through the mic, having to speak loudly over all the cheers he heard around him. This had always made Blaine feel good, hearing people screaming for him, loving his music, somehow making all the travel worth it. Blaine didn’t know if his tours would ever lead him back to Paris, but he was happy with the time he had been here.

As Blaine was standing on stage, he saw the same runner that had taken Kurt to his seat, walk up to him, and guide him to the backstage area as Blaine had asked her to. With a smile on his face and one last wave goodbye, Blaine walked off the stage feeling so much happiness and joy he thought he might burst from it. Just when he thought his night couldn’t get any better, he saw Kurt running towards him, and throwing himself into Blaine’s waiting arms, hugging him tightly.

“Blaine, you were wonderful tonight. And that last song you sang was just…” Kurt once again was at a loss for words. He had heard Blaine sing his songs before, had even been present and watched as Blaine would write his thoughts down on paper in the spiral-bound notebook he was never too far away from. Still, that song was the best thing Kurt had ever heard. It touched him in a way no other song ever had, or he knew ever would.

“Thank you. I wrote it for you,” Blaine said, leaning in to kiss him. He was just about to tell Kurt that every song he had ever written, every song he had ever performed had been about him, both the happy and the sad ones. He didn’t get to, though, because he heard screaming again, and not the happy kind of screaming he had heard in the auditorium tonight.

“Blaine, what the fuck was that? What the hell did you think you were doing?” Tina said, walking over to Blaine looking furious.

“I was performing ‘_MY SONGS to MY AUDIENCE_’… what the hell are you screaming at me for?” Blaine asked her just as loud, quickly getting pissed off. He hadn’t been yelled at like that since he was a teenager, and the last time had been from his dad. He refused to stand back and be screamed at by Tina. Yes, she was his friend, but she also _worked_ for him.

“Damn it, Blaine. You know the label is going to have a field day with this. You know you are never supposed to sing a song that hasn’t gone through them first. I hope you are pleased with yourself, Kurt, because you might have just ended Blaine’s career,” Tina said, looking at Kurt and let the hatred she had felt for Kurt for years out. She had loved Blaine since their senior year of high school and had hoped he would finally come to her after the breakup. Yes, she knew he was gay, but she had always felt like, if given a chance, she could make him fall in love with her. But no, he had gone crawling back to Kurt, someone who wasn’t even worthy of breathing Blaine’s air.

“You need to back the fuck up, Tina, and remember who works for whom here. If you don’t like how I do my shows, then you can leave now and catch the next flight home. I don’t need someone so incredibly negative around me. Kurt didn’t know anything about it. He didn’t even know I wrote it, or that I planned on performing it tonight, so you owe him one hell of an apology,” Blaine said madder than he had ever been in his life. Who the hell did she think she was?

“Hey, everyone needs to calm down back here,” Sam said, walking over to them, looking at Tina like she had just lost her mind.

“Sam, you know the label is going to hand him his ass for that, right?” Tina said to Sam as she tried to cool off. She knew she had gone too far this time. She and Blaine had had their disagreements before, but she had never yelled at him, and he was right. Yes, they had been friends since junior year of high school, but he was also very much her boss.

“And if that happens, we will deal with it then. You know the label isn’t going to do anything. Blaine’s contract with them is almost up and they’re going to play nice until he resigns with them and you know that. He brings them too much revenue between his albums and ticket sales to piss him off. Jack isn’t going to let Blaine go anywhere,” Sam said as he looked at Tina like she had just grown a second head.

“I just hope you guys are right,” Tina said, turning around and walking off without another word.

“What the heck was that about?” Sam asked Blaine.

“I have no idea, man,” Blaine said with a humorless laugh before turning to look at Kurt. “I’m sorry about that, Kurt. I don’t know why she yelled at you like that.

“It’s ok, really. You guys might not remember, but I have known Tina a lot longer than the both of you have. I don’t blame _you_ for anything she said. Try not to stay mad at her. She was worried about your career and doing her job. Could she have done it without yelling… yes. But don’t be too hard on her. You know Tina’s heart is always in the right place,” Kurt said, wrapping his arms around Blaine, knowing from experience that that was one of the best ways to calm his boyfriend down. Lord knows he had enough experience seeing as he was usually the one that upset Blaine to begin with, Kurt thought with a smile.

“Yeah, true,” Sam said, laughing. “I hate to break this up, guys, but Vic told me to come and get you. It’s time to leave for the airport. It was really good seeing you again, Kurt,” Sam said and for the first time really meaning it. If Kurt could put that smile back on Blaine’s face again, Sam was happy for it.

“Will you go to the airport with me? I can have the driver drive you back to your motel afterward,” Blaine asked, nowhere near ready to say goodbye to Kurt again so soon.

Kurt nodded his head and reached down to grab Blaine’s hand. He followed him out the side door and to the waiting limousine. The ride to the airport was quiet, neither one of them ready to be separated again. Even though they both knew it was different this time, it was still another goodbye, and neither one knew for how long.

“Call me when you land,” Kurt whispered, trying to hold his tears back. He was standing on the tarmac beside Blaine’s private plane. Because it was on a private airstrip, Kurt had been able to walk all the way to the plane with Blaine. He didn’t have to stop at the security gate to say goodbye.

“Kurt it’s going to be hours before we land in Geneva, you will probably be asleep by then,” Blaine said, staring into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. He cupped Kurt’s cheek in the palm of his hand, slowing moving his thumb up and down.

“I don’t care, Blaine. Please call me,” Kurt said again.

“I will, sweetheart. I promise. I miss you so much already,” Blaine said as he felt a tear slid down his face. He had just gotten Kurt back and was once again having to say goodbye. Blaine leaned in and placed one more kiss on Kurt’s soft lips, tasting the salt from their shared tears. “I love you so much, Kurt. Please don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you so much, too, Blaine, more than you can possibly know. I just wish…” Kurt said softly.

“I know, sweetheart, I know. But we will figure all this out together, I promise.” Blaine said with one more kiss before he turned around to walk up the stairs to the airplane. He turned around before stepping in the door. “I love you, sweetheart,” Blaine said with a sad smile.

“I love you, too,” Kurt whispered back, crying as he watched Blaine walk in the plane and the door shut behind him. Kurt walked a few feet away, and heard the plane engines roar to life, and then watched as the plane carrying the love of his life began its taxi up the runway, soon in the air and out of sight.

Kurt slowly made his way back to the airport, heading towards the car that was waiting to take him back to his motel. Kurt pulled his phone out of his pocket when he felt it vibrate.

“_Don’t forget, Kurt, how very much I love you. Bye, for now, my love, until I can talk to you once more. I am so glad I have you back in my life, please don’t ever leave it again,” Blaine ~*~_

With a smile on his lips, Kurt slipped into the limousine and was on his way. Kurt was truly happy for the first time in a long time. All was right in his world again.


	9. Until Next Time

A/N: Thank you for all the likes, follows, Kudo's, reviews and for just reading my work. You made my day. Thank you for my amazing beta JayHawkWrites for all your suggestions and fixes. You are the best. TB.

~*~

Saying goodbye to Kurt had been hard. Blaine had known it would be, but until he walked through the door of the plane, he hadn’t known just how hard. Making his way down the aisle to the seat he always occupied, he sat down and looked out the window, watching Kurt stand there. Before the plane started to taxi, and before the pilot asked for everyone to turn off their electronic devices, Blaine sent Kurt a quick text. He needed him to know how much he loved him, and how much he was going to be missed.

When the plane started its taxi down the runway, Blaine couldn’t take his eyes off of Kurt. He kept wishing he was back with him and wondering how long it would be until he could be again. Blaine felt a lump in his throat and a pain in his chest he hadn’t felt since the last time Kurt had told him goodbye. No, it wasn’t the same situation as it had been then, nor for the same reasons, but it was still another goodbye, and it hurt.

Leaning his head on the back of his seat, Blaine closed his eyes, once again thankful for being able to have his own private plane. Yes, it had been an extravagant purchase, but for Blaine, it had also been a necessary one. When he had first started touring, transportation had been on buses and commercial airlines. Blaine wasn’t above those things, but being able to sit somewhere and just be quiet and not be disturbed on an extended tour was priceless. When Blaine agreed to the second world tour, he knew that purchasing his own plane was the only way he’d survive it. It was bad enough being away from home and being alone for such long periods of time, but to be held up by one delay after another was too much to take. Blaine had had enough when their second plane on one leg of their first tour needed to land early due to mechanical issues. He had known then that his own plane was needed.

Technically the plane wasn’t his. It belonged to the foundation that he had started right after he had signed his first contract with Virgin records. When royalty payments had started coming in, Blaine had gotten with Wes, and they had started The Warbler Foundation. It was a non-profit organization that they used to help fund things like The Trevor Project and to set up scholarships for students at Dalton. There were a lot of boys out there like Kurt who needed the protection and safety of Dalton, but their parents just couldn’t afford the tuition. The foundation tried to offer two new scholarships a year and had a fund set aside for emergency placements. Wes and Blaine were hoping within the next few months also to be able to start a scholarship fund for their sister school, Crawford Country Day.

Blaine wanted to show his appreciation to the school for everything he had been given. This foundation, and by association the scholarship, was the perfect opportunity. Wes ran the day to day operations, helping to get funding for their scholarship program, while Blaine was in the background as a silent partner. His name couldn’t be found on anything dealing with the foundation. He just wanted to help without getting recognition for it. That wasn’t why he did what he did. 

To help keep the foundation running and be able to do what they were currently doing, Blaine donated every royalty check he got from the sale of his albums to the foundation. He would never need the money; he could live the rest of his life on the intrust from his trust fund alone. By donating his royalty checks, more people could be helped.

During the hour-long flight from Paris to Geneva, Blaine thought about how to handle the Tina situation. She was one of Blaine’s best friends and had been there for him when his world had crashed down around him and he had needed her the most. Blaine couldn’t sit back, though, and let her talk to him or Kurt the way she had. Blaine understands that she was just trying to protect him, but she had crossed a line tonight. She had gone way too far and he had no idea how he was going to handle it. He knows that if it had been anyone else, they would have already lost their job. 

When Jack Ambrose had first agreed to become Blaine’s manager, and he had signed with Virgin records, they had gotten together to build Blaine’s band. Sam Evans was brought on as a bass player, becoming the first band member to sign a contract. Blaine had needed his friends around him at that time. When Jack had recommended that Blaine hire a personal assistant, someone to work with the label to schedule flights and set up hotel reservations, Blaine had called in Tina right away, knowing that she would be the best person for the job. Until tonight, he hadn’t regretted that decision. Jack had tried to explain that business and friendship didn’t usually go well together, but up until tonight, everything had been perfect.

“Blaine, can we talk?” Tina asked Blaine quietly, before sitting down beside him.

“Not tonight, Tina, ok. We’ll get together in the morning and discuss everything after we’ve had time to rest. We’ll go over everything, then ok?” Blaine answered. He wasn’t ready to have this conversation when he still didn’t know what direction to take it.

“I’m sorry, Blaine. I know I stepped over the line,” Tina said.

“Yes, you did, Tina, but as I said, I don’t want to get into this tonight. Let’s wait until the morning when we will both have clearer heads and are less likely to say something we might regret. I love you, Tina. You are one of my very best friends but don’t push it tonight, ok. We’ll get together tomorrow,” Blaine said to his friend, hoping she would get up and go back to her seat and leave him to his thoughts. Right now, his feelings were still too raw, and he had a feeling if she opened her mouth too much, he would just tell her to go home. When she sat there not moving, Blaine sighed and closed his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t sleep, but he needed to think.

By the time Blaine’s plane landed in Geneva it was 1 am and Blaine was dragging. It had been a really long day. He had woken up early and then spent the entire day with Kurt sightseeing. He wouldn’t complain about getting to spend time with Kurt, he only wished he had gotten to spend more time with him. But the concert on top of a day spent walking around had left Blaine with no energy. The only thing he wanted to do was get to the hotel, check-in, text Kurt, shower, and then crawl into bed. The flight hadn’t taken as long as Blaine thought it would, but they had been delayed on the tarmac, leaving them having to wait before they could disembark the plane. Blaine walked off the plane happy and unbelievably sad at the same time. Happy because he had Kurt back in his life, and sad because they were already separated for who knows how long.

With a sigh, Blaine walked towards the waiting limousine and slid in. When Tina and Sam followed him, he didn't say a word, just looked out the window and watched the passing lights through the window. He still had no idea what was going on with Tina, but right now he knew, if he spoke to her, he would say something he would regret. Instead, he opted to keep his mouth shut until the morning. He planned on calling a meeting with her and let her know what changes needed to be made. Blaine would need to think of a plan if she wouldn’t agree to the changes, though he really hoped she would.

When Blaine finally made it to his room, it was already 2 am. He didn’t want to call Kurt this late, but he knew Kurt would worry if he didn’t. Blaine opted just to send him a quick text to let him know they had landed safely, he loved him and hoped that Kurt had a good night and that they would talk sometime tomorrow. When Blaine finished the text he walked towards the bathroom, wanting nothing more than a long hot shower and then to crawl into bed. Blaine sat his phone on the counter, and right as he was leaning over to turn the water on, his phone started playing a very familiar song. It was a song that had always had a way of making him smile, even if he had been having the worst day of his life. 

“Kurt, sweetheart, why aren’t you asleep?” Blaine asked, hating that he had woken Kurt up.

“I couldn’t sleep until I knew you were safe. How’s Geneva?” Kurt asked, trying to hide a yawn.

“Well, from what I saw of it in the dark on my way to the hotel, it seems ok,” Blaine said with a soft laugh.

“Well, I’m glad you made it there. Will you call me in the morning when you wake up?” Kurt questioned.

“Try to stop me. You will be the first person I call. I love you, sweetheart,” Blaine said, still not believing he could say those words to Kurt again.

“I love you too. Night, Blaine,” Kurt whispered once again, yawning.

“Night, Kurt,” Blaine said, laughing as he heard the yawn. When the call disconnected, Blaine sat his phone back on the countertop and stepped in the shower. He stood under the spray for ten minutes, letting the warm water massage his body. When he was done, he stepped out, dried off, and put on an old pair of McKinley gym shorts before crawling into bed. After he pulled the covers over his shoulders, it didn’t take long and he was asleep.

Blaine slept the next morning until 10:30 that morning. It was the first time in years he had gotten a solid eight hours of sleep. He was usually lucky if he managed to get in five. The first thing he did was reach for his phone and called Kurt. Blaine figured Kurt would be at work, but he had promised him last night that he would call.

“Good morning, sleepyhead. I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me,” Kurt said with a smile in his voice, but Blaine could also just make out a little bit of concern as well. He had seriously thought Blaine had forgotten about him.

“Nope, I just woke up. And Kurt? How could I ever forget about you?” Blaine asked, sitting up and pushing to blankets off so he could get out of the bed. Blaine walked over to the window and pulled the curtains back, looking down at the sites of Geneva.

“I don’t know,” Kurt said with a small laugh. “So what are you up to today?”

“Well, I have to have a meeting with Tina sometime this morning, and then we have an interview with some TV station. I’m not really even sure what I am supposed to be talking about, yet another reason to meet with Tina,” Blaine said. He was not looking forward to his meeting with Tina.

“I’m sorry, Blaine. I feel like that is all my fault,” Kurt said softly.

“Kurt, this is in no way your fault. There are some things she and I need to work through. I have let some things slide in the past, but this time I can’t,” Blaine answered. “So, are you already at work?”

“Yeah, I have been here since seven this morning. I’m trying to get everything taken care of before I head back to London on Wednesday. We have a lot we need to try to get done,” Kurt answered back, sounding tired.

“Do I need to let you go?” Blaine asked, not ready to hang up, but he knew Kurt was at work and had a lot to get done with only a short window of time to get it done in.

“No, I was just about to take a coffee break anyway. Hang on a sec, Blaine,” Kurt said.

“_ Wait. What _?”

“_What_ _do you mean André is here_?”

“_ Did he say why _?”

Blaine heard Kurt laugh then. He could only hear Kurt’s side of the conversation, but from what he could make out, Kurt’s boss André Baptiste had shown up in Paris and surprised Kurt. André Baptiste, whom Kurt had admitted to dating at one time, was now with Kurt, in Paris, and Blaine was stuck in Geneva. He just really wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Blaine I’m sorry, I need to go, André is here and is wanting me to meet him at his hotel to go over a few things,” Kurt said, already sounding a million miles away. “Can you call me tonight before you go on stage?”

“Why does he want you to go to his hotel instead of meeting you at the shop?” Blaine asked, really not liking the sound of Kurt going to another man's hotel room.

“Oh, he never comes to the shop. I always have to meet him somewhere else. He says that if he comes in, he ends up spending more time than he planned,” Kurt answered as he stood and gathered what he would need to take with him. “Listen, I need to go. I’ll talk to you later ok, love you.”

Blaine didn’t get a chance to respond. Before he could even say ‘I love you’ back, Kurt had already disconnected the call. _ Trust _, Blaine told himself. He had to trust Kurt if their relationship was ever going to work. Blaine had to trust that Kurt loved him, that he wanted to be with him, that he wanted to be in this relationship as much as Blaine did. If not, then they had nothing, and he wasn’t ready to believe that.

With a sigh, Blaine got dressed and headed to the conference room the hotel had agreed to let him use. Yes, Tina was his friend, and he could have just had this meeting in his room. However, since this was business-related, Blaine felt like this conversation needed to be held in a more professional setting. Not looking forward to this at all, Blaine pulled out his phone. He had a few calls he needed to make.

“Morning, Tina. I’m on my way down to the hotel conference room. Could you meet me there in about thirty minutes, please?” Blaine asked when she answered.

“Blaine, is there a problem?” Tina asked. Blaine could hear the nervousness in her voice. This would be the first time they had a meeting like this anywhere other than in his room or hers. She must have realized this talk would be more official.

“We just have some things we need to discuss this morning,” Blaine answered, not wanting to have this conversation over the phone.

“Blaine, can’t we just discuss it now?” Tina asked. Blaine could tell now that her nervousness seconds ago had turned to fear. He hated making Tina nervous, but this talk needed to happen.

“Tina, thirty minutes in the conference room, please,” Blaine said before disconnecting the call. His next call was with his manager. Blaine was dialing the number as he walked into the conference room, half expecting Tina to be there already.

“Jack, hey, it’s Blaine. I have some things I need to go over with you,” Blaine said once his manager's assistant had patched him through. Blaine explained everything that went on last night and explained the original song he had performed. 

“Although I wouldn’t recommend you performing your original songs like that, there is nothing in your contract forbidding you not to. You broke no agreement by doing so. I, however, will strongly advise you against doing so in the future. If one of your fans records one of your original songs before the label does, there will be no real way to prove it is yours. Once the label has recorded it, it falls under their copyright protection,” Jack explained.

“Ok, I get that,” Blaine said, he would typically have not done something like that, but Kurt had been there and that song had been written just for him. Blaine had felt the need to perform it as another way of letting Kurt know just what he meant to him. Was it stupid? Possibly. Would he do it again? In a heartbeat. Yes, it might have been careless, but Blaine had just felt the need to do it then and there. “Ok, what do I do about Tina?”

“To be honest, I’m surprised it took you two this long to clash. Blaine, Tina is your friend, and from what you have said, she has been for years. Sometimes when you have a friend working for you, the line between professionalism and friendship becomes blurred. They sometimes forget that you are not only their friend but also their boss. They will sometime say things that as a friend could just be overlooked, but as their boss, they are crossing a line. That is why I was hesitant when you said you wanted to bring her on as your personal assistant. I could tell talking to her for about five minutes that she had strong feelings for you.” Jack took a second to formulate his next few sentences. It would potentially be a difficult thing for Blaine to hear and process.

“I understand you’re gay, and nothing would have ever happened between the two of you. I could tell that even after all the years she has known you, Tina somehow hopes you will change your mind, that she can be what you need somehow. I can't tell you what to do with her, Blaine. That’s a decision only you can make. But if you opt to let her continue to work for you, there needs to be a change in how you deal with each other during working hours. There needs to be more structure in your working relationship. When you are doing a business-related task, you are her boss only. Friendship needs to be left outside the door. She needs to be treated the way any other member of your team is.” Jack hoped that Blaine took into consideration everything he was saying. It wasn’t that he wanted Blaine to get rid of Tina, but he did want things to run smoothly for his star. If Blaine’s focus was split, he wouldn’t perform optimally. Nor would it be good for his overall health. Yes, Blaine made him money, but Jack also cared about him as a person.

“If today doesn’t go well, and I opt to let her go home, what all is involved in that. Do I have to let the label know since I guess she technically works for them?” Blaine asked.

“No, her only working capacity for the label is as your personal assistant. The only reason she was brought in was that you wanted her to be. When that agreement ends, her relationship with the label ends. She is there only because you wanted her to be. If you no longer want her there, that is up to you,” Jack answered.

“One moment,” Blaine said when he heard a knock on the door. Tina was ten minutes early, Blaine thought with a smile, and then let it slide off his face. Just like Jack said, friendship/business separation. “Ok, Jack, Tina is here for our meeting. I will get back with you later to let you know how everything went.”

“Ok, let me know if I need to bring someone else in. Good luck, and remember what we talked about,” Jack said before disconnecting the call.

Blaine got up and opened the door for Tina. “Come in and have a seat,” Blaine said, motioning her in and pointing to one of the chairs in the room, only then did he notice Sam.

“Is there something I can help you with, Sam?” Blaine asked, realizing how he had always acted around them. He had never acted like their boss. Blaine had always just been their friend. He did treat them differently than any other member of his crew, so he was just as much at fault in what happened with Tina as she was. Blaine had allowed the lines to be blurred between their working relationship and their friendship. Lesson learned.

“No, Tina just said she was having a meeting with you, and wanted me to come with her,” Sam said, walking into the room and slouching down in one of the chairs.

“Sorry, Sam, but I need to have a private conversation with Tina,” Blaine said.

“I don’t mind him being here,” Tina said hopefully.

“This is a business conversation between you and me, and I do mind,” Blaine said, using a voice he had never used before. The voice of her boss.

“Oook,” Sam said with a funny look on his face. Blaine had never acted like that before.

“I’ll get with you later, Sam,” Blaine said, holding the door open for him, and then shutting it behind him.

“Tina, please sit down,” Blaine said again when he noticed she was still just standing there. Blaine waited until she finally sat down and sat in the chair across the table from her.

“Ok, Tina,” Blaine started, wanting to get this started and over with. “You are my friend and have been for years. You have been there for me more times than I can count, and I love you for that, ‘_ as my friend.’ _ Last night, though, you crossed a line. If another one of my employees had talked to me the way you did, they would have already been sent packing. You yelled at me in front of every member of my crew, and that will not be tolerated. I know I am partially to blame because I have always treated our professional relationship the same as I have our friendship. After yesterday, I realized I was wrong in doing so. We have no structure in our working relationship, and that ends now. During business hours, while we are working in a professional capacity, I am your employer only. You don’t yell at me. You don’t tell me I did something wrong. You come to me as my personal assistant, and we discuss it professionally.” Blaine took a much-needed breath and continued. 

“I understand that you have strong feelings about Kurt being back in my life, I do. You saw the damage that was done first hand. I love him, and we are trying to work ‘us’ out. Yes, he cheated on me, and yes, some ugly things were said between us. You have to also remember that I cheated on him as well. It doesn’t matter who cheated first. We were both guilty. Professionally, and as my friend, I need you to back off. You don’t have the right to yell at him the way you did. As my friend, you have the right to be concerned, and I appreciate that. But don’t push it, Tina. I will not lose him again.” Blaine said.

“So, what now? Do I still have a job?” Tina asked, sounding concerned.

“Yes, you still have a job. I still need you, Tina. I don’t know of anyone else I would trust to do what you do. But you need to understand that if something like that happens again, you will be fired. This is your warning. Are we clear?” Blaine asked.

“I understand. Can I ask you something as your friend?” She asked concern back on her face.

“Of course. Tina, any time we are not together in a professional capacity, you can talk to me like you always have,” he answered.

“Are you really sure about Kurt? Blaine, you were devastated the last time. Are you sure you can trust him with your heart again?” Tina asked, and Blaine could tell her question was coming from a place of concern.

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Tina, I love him just as much now as I always have. My feelings for him have never, nor will they ever change. I know Kurt and I have a lot we need to work through, but I feel confident about us this time,” Blaine said. “We have both grown up and seen what life without each other is like. I never want to live through that again, and neither does he.”

“Ok, if you are sure Blaine, then I am happy for you. I’ll stand by you. Question though, how are you guys going to do so much long-distance? It didn’t seem like you guys could make the distance between Lima and New York work,” she asked the only question that still had Blaine concerned. He knew he was willing to work for his relationship with Kurt, but as she said, there was a lot more distance between them now than there ever had been, and when they had tried it before, they had splintered.

“It is something I am willing to work for, fight for, more than ever. I let my insecurities in Kurt’s love guide me before. I will never do that again,” Blaine answered. He was sure of this fact alone if nothing else.

Blaine’s resolve was severely tested later that day. He tried several times to call Kurt and sent multiple texts, only to hear nothing. Blaine’s mind started thinking about Kurt going to André’s room. Blaine was working with his band, trying to hammer out the show they would be doing tonight. Every location, they tried to make the setlist a little different than the ones before. Blaine had several fans that followed them from venue to venue, and he always wanted every show to be unique for them. In between songs, in between working on particular choreography, Blaine tried and failed to reach Kurt. He kept fighting himself not to go back to the dark place he had gone when Kurt had first moved to New York and had stopped answering or returning Blaine’s calls.

Kurt finally called Blaine, when he was right in the middle of the interview he had been requested to do, and couldn’t answer his phone. Blaine had Kurt’s ringtone set back to “Blackbird” the way it had always been in high school. When his phone started playing that song, he knew instantly who was calling, but also knew he couldn’t answer it. With a smile of apology and a soft sigh of regret, Blaine pulled his phone out of his pocket, put it on mute, before placing it on the chair beside him. Blaine forgot to take it off mute.

After the show, Blaine had his usual meet and greet. This was the first time in a long time, he hadn’t picked someone out of the audience and had them brought backstage to meet him. That made Blaine smile. He no longer needed to do that to meet new people. The only person he would ever need was back in his life again. And Blaine couldn’t be happier.


	10. And Then She Kissed Me

By the time Blaine got back to his hotel room, he was disheartened. He’d never managed to talk to Kurt and they had played phone tag for the rest of the day. During his interview, his phone rang. Blaine had taken it out of his pocket, put it on mute, and then placed it on the empty chair beside him. In that instant, he had broken a promise he had made Kurt so long ago. Blaine can still remember the love he had felt, as well as the nerves when he handed Kurt the promise ring he had spent over a month collecting gum wrappers for, and then putting the ring together. Blaine had been so afraid that Kurt was going to see it as cheesy or cheap.

It had been their first Christmas together as a couple, and Blaine had wanted to give Kurt something he had made just for him, something special and straight from his heart. Yes, he had given Kurt a few other things, but that ring, to Blaine, had meant a lot. As far as he was concerned, he had never given anyone anything more special before or after. He had felt ecstatic when Kurt had loved it.

Blaine had promised many things that day, but the main one, the one he never thought he would break, besides the whole ‘_defend you even though I know you’re wrong_’ one, Blaine had promised Kurt “_to always pick up your phone call, no matter what I’m doing_.” Yes, during the break up that promise had been broken along with several others. Still, they were back together, they were a couple again for just over twenty-four hours, and Blaine was breaking one of the most important promises of all, he had ignored a call from Kurt. Blaine was aware that this was his career, and he had had a job to do, but Kurt was more important to him than anything. Blaine wanted to kick himself when he finally got a moment to check his phone to see if Kurt had ever called him back, only to realize he had left his phone on the chair center stage and on mute after the stupid interview.

Blaine ran over to collect it before it could be lost, and when he looked at the phone, he found the display showed not one, but five missed calls and three texts all from Kurt. Blaine had immediately tried to call him and got nothing but voicemail. He waited a few minutes and tried again and got the same. He didn’t have time to try again, it was almost time to go on stage, and he needed to go and change clothes and get ready for the concert. Instead of calling, Blaine opted to send a quick text instead. Thoughts of senior year kept running through his head, no matter how hard he tried to push them down. Kurt was busy. Kurt was dealing with wrapping everything up so he could go home tomorrow morning. Kurt wasn’t avoiding his calls this time. Kurt wasn’t with André. Why did André even have to show up when Kurt would be in London soon anyway?

_From Blaine: Kurt, I’m sorry I missed your calls today. I left my phone on stage and just now realized it. It’s been a crazy day. We’ve had to work with some lighting and sound issues, but I am about to go on stage in ten minutes. If you have time to call, we can talk for a few minutes. I love you sweetheart, and I miss you like crazy._

….. Nothing. Darkness coiled around him, bringing with it all the doubts, no matter how hard he fought to keep them at bay. Blaine couldn’t keep the thoughts of Kurt going to André’s room that morning from running through his mind. He kept reminding himself that he could trust Kurt, that they both wanted this relationship to work. They loved each other, but now he was filled with doubt. They had loved each other before and had both cheated. What if Kurt met up with André and decided that _he_ was what Kurt wanted after all, not Blaine.

Blaine tried to concentrate on the concert, on the songs he was performing. Every person in that audience had paid to see him. It was another full house. The people out there were there to be entertained, to hear him sing, and from that second on, Blaine gave it all he had. He bounced. He danced and gave the best performance he possibly could. He had just finished his third song, turned to get a drink of water when he felt his phone vibrate. He did something he never does when he is on stage, he pulled out his phone and read the text message he just received.

_From Kurt: Blaine, I know how frustrated you must be that we haven’t been able to talk to each other today. I’m frustrated, too. God, when have I said ‘that’ before. Lol. But seriously, I’m sorry we keep missing each other. I’m still trying to get everything in order so I can go home. Please call me when you get off stage, I’ll be waiting for you_, _and we can talk then_. _I love you_.”

Blaine had a smile on his face through the rest of his set. He had finally heard from Kurt, and everything was going to be ok. When Blaine finished his last song, he quickly thanked his audience and walked off stage. Even though he had something else he wanted to do, Blaine waited for Tina to bring up the selected audience members that had been chosen for the meet and greet. He signed autographs for all of them and was only a little shocked when Tina asked him to pose with a guy named Stefan for a picture.

That wasn’t something he usually did, and Blaine wasn’t really thrilled, especially when the guy wrapped his arm around Blaine’s waist. His first instinct was to pull away, not liking the touch at all, but decided to smile and get the picture over with. After that, Blaine was done and only had one thing on his mind, talking to Kurt. On his way to his dressing room, he was pulling his phone out of his pocket with a smile on his face. Usually, the first thing he did was clean his face and then changed into his regular clothes. Tonight, though, his only thought was getting in touch with Kurt and easing his mind.

“_Hi, this is Kurt. Sorry I can’t answer your call right now. I’ll call you back as soon as possible. .Au revoir_.”

“Kurt, it's me. I just got off stage and was looking forward to hearing your voice. I love you,” Blaine whispered before hitting the end call button. _This can’t be happening again_, he thought, slowly shaking his head. Blaine cleaned up, changed his clothes, and followed the runner out to the car, ready to go back to his room, never once letting his phone leave his hand. When he sat down in the limo, he looked at the phone display one more time with a sigh before laying his head on the back seat and closing his eyes.

“Well, that didn’t take long,” Tina mumbled.

“Don’t start, Tina. _Please_, just don’t start,” Blaine whispered, looking out the window, ready to be alone with his thoughts. All he needed right now was to hear Tina’s ‘I told you so,’ he knew she was dying to say.

“I’m not going to start, Blaine. I’m just saying…” Tina said with an I told you so look on her face.

“Tina, just stop,” Blaine answered her back, looking at her with a warning, trying to remind her of the conversation they had just had this morning.

“Fine, Blaine, fine. When he breaks your heart again, don’t come running to me,” she answered back, shooting him a look.

“That’s it, Tina. I’ve had enough,” Blaine yelled. “You need to shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone. I’m done with your bullshit snide comments. One more word on the subject and you can go to the motel, pack your shit and head home. I don’t need this right now from someone I thought was my friend.”

“I am your friend, Blaine. Which is why I’m saying this. Kurt is a mistake. He was a mistake in high school, and he is a bigger mistake now. He’s going to do nothing but break your heart all over again,” she answered back.

“Well, if that happens, that is his and my business, not yours. Don’t say another word Tina, I mean it,” Blaine said, looking at her and daring her to open her mouth again. He watched as Sam looked between them with a ‘what the hell’ look on his face.

For once, Tina kept her mouth shut. When they got back to the motel, Blaine couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. He went straight to his room, not stopping and talking to anyone. He just needed to be alone. Blaine tried Kurt’s number one more time and got voicemail again. He gave up. He placed his phone on the nightstand beside the bed. Without showering, without even changing his clothes, he just crawled into bed and curled in on himself. What could Kurt be doing that he couldn’t answer his phone? That thought led to another and another before he picked up his phone and threw it across the room hearing it smash against the wall.

Blaine must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, the room phone beside his bed was ringing, and the clock display showed 3 am.

“Hello,” Blaine managed to mumble out.

“Blaine, where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you for hours,” Kurt said, and Blaine could tell by the way he talked that he had been crying.

“Kurt, sweetheart, are you ok?” Blaine asked, sitting up, instantly awake and concerned, completely forgetting that just a few hours ago he had been sure they were over before they even got started again.

“Why haven’t you been answering your phone, Blaine? Why??? I finally had to pull up the schedule of the tour you sent me. I found the telephone number of the stupid motel you were staying at, but, the stupid management wouldn’t patch me through to your room. I finally had them call Sam, and he told them it was ok. Thank God I didn’t have to talk to Tina. I can just hear it now. Are you avoiding my call?” Kurt asked, his voice breaking.

“No, Kurt, sweetheart, I’ve not been avoiding you. To be honest, I was starting to think you were avoiding me. I’ve tried calling several times today and just kept getting voicemail. I even called you the second I got back to my room, and still nothing,” Blaine answered.

“I know, and I’m sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower and had put my phone on my nightstand and didn’t hear it ring. I tried to call you right back, and you didn’t answer. I even sent you a text. This has been a crazy day. Every time I thought I would have a second that I could call you, André was dragging me into a meeting, or, like this evening, there was a fashion show he just had to see. I just missed you so much, and I wanted to hear your voice, and all I have been getting is voicemail after voicemail. I was beginning to think that maybe you changed your mind,” Kurt whispered, still so scared. “I thought you were avoiding me. I thought you answered this phone because you didn’t know who was calling you.”

“Oh, Kurt, no. I haven’t been avoiding you. When you called me this afternoon, I was right in the middle of that stupid interview. I had put my phone on mute and sat it on the chair beside me, and then I forgot to pick it back up. By the time I realized what I had done, I had five missed calls from you. I tried to call you then and got your voicemail, and then it was time to go on stage. That’s when I texted you. When I got back to my dressing room, I tried again and nothing, and then the same thing when I got to my room here. I got a little upset thinking that you were already done with me again, and I threw my phone against the wall,” Blaine finally admitted.

“So, you broke your phone. That is why you haven’t answered me?” Kurt asked, finally able to laugh. “You know, we really do need to have a long talk and work on our communication skills.”

“I know, and trust me, the first chance we have, we will. I wonder how hard it will be to get a new phone in Geneva?” Blaine asked, laughing.

“So, I’m taking that to mean not to expect a call first thing in the morning right?” Kurt asked, laughing.

“I guess not, but I’ll call you as soon as I get it replaced. I’ll also remember from now on to have you added to the approved caller list. I just didn't think about doing it before now, because I usually have my cell with me,” Blaine answered.

“I guess in a way, that’s a good thing. My flight leaves out at 5:30 in the morning, and happy, happy, joy, joy, André is flying back with me,” Kurt said with a sigh. André had been driving him crazy since he showed up unexpectedly like that, knowing Kurt needed to get his stuff packed to get ready to go home.

“So, in other words, you're telling me not to freak out in the morning if I call, and you don’t answer right away,” Blaine said, laying back down, getting comfortable again.

“Pretty much,” Kurt said with a soft laugh.

Kurt and Blaine talked for another hour, filling each other in on their day. They also decided from now on, when either of them had doubts, they needed to text each other then. Even if it was just to say I need to talk to you. They each promised to send a quick text back even if they were busy to say ‘busy right now, will call you back.’ Kurt understood that if Blaine was on stage, he wouldn’t be able to call or text back right away, but promised to always keep Blaine’s schedule with him so that he wouldn’t freak out if Blaine didn’t call or text quick enough. This had been a rough day for both of them.

“That sounds like a plan,” Blaine said, yawning before he could stop it.

“It’s late, B. I’m going to go ahead and get off here and let you sleep. Call me when you get your new phone, ok? I love you and miss you like crazy,” Kurt whispered.

“I promise. I love you, too, Kurt. I’ll call you in the morning as soon as I can. Have a safe flight, and I miss you, too,” Blaine answered with another yawn, hanging up the phone to the sound of Kurt’s soft laughter. Blaine slept better that night than he had in a long time.

oOoOo

Blaine was awake at 8:00 the next morning and he couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. He was in such a good mood, he and Kurt were ok. He quickly jumped in the shower and dressed for his day. This was his last day in Geneva, and tonight after the concert, they would be flying to Berlin. Blaine knew he would be performing two nights there, and then it was off to Rome for one. After that, he would have three full days off before he was scheduled to perform in Québec City, Canada, the last leg of his tour.

Blaine already had plans for his three days off. The concert in Rome was scheduled for May the 25th, and Kurt’s birthday was on the 27th. This was the first time in five years they would be a couple on Kurt’s birthday. He had every intention of being with Kurt and surprising the hell out of his boyfriend, Blaine thought with a smile, stepping into the car that had been called for him.

Blaine was able to find a phone and even managed to save all his contacts off of his old one. Thank goodness he always kept the numbers and pictures backed up on his SIM card. As promised, without even looking at the time Blaine called Kurt, and could only smile when he answered.

“Man, I was beginning to think I was going to need to fly to Geneva and help you find a phone,” Kurt answered and then laughed.

“Damn, now you tell me, sweetheart. If I had known that was all it would take to get your ass here so I could see you again, I would have dragged my feet a little longer,” Blaine said, laughing back, settling into the car seat with the biggest smile on his face. He had missed this, all the times he and Kurt spent on the phone together just talking.

“If I could, I would be there, trust me. I had no idea what I would be facing when I got into the office this morning. Looking at the place, you would think I had been gone a year instead of only a month,” Kurt said, sighing as he sat down.

“Oh yeah, how was your flight,” Blaine asked, stepping out of the car at the shop he had asked to be brought to. He wanted to find something for Kurt for his birthday. If he couldn’t find it in Geneva, he would look in Berlin and Rome. Blaine was just really glad Kurt had made it home safe.

“It was good. André only drove me a little crazy on the flight home. I didn’t realize that he would expect me to show up at work this morning. I thought I would get time to settle back in, but nope. Let me tell you Brian was pissed. First, because I was gone so long, and then again because I had to leave an hour after getting there. André wanted me at work by 8 am to start scheduling his next show,” Kurt said sounding busy.

“Brian?” Blaine asked, stopping dead in his tracks, not even thinking about the person that had been walking behind him until she bumped into him when he stopped so suddenly. “Sorry,” he said to her, turning around to look at her for a minute. Blaine started walking again, trying to remember if Kurt ever said his ex-boyfriend's name was Brian, the guy Kurt had dated for over a year before breaking up right before he went to Paris. Why was this Bryan guy at Kurt’s house so early in the morning?

“Yeah my fat cat. I told you about him, didn’t I? He weighs over 20lbs and is a brown tabby. His main activity when I’m home is looking at me with this ‘I hate you’ expression on his face,” Kurt said laughing until it hit him how Blaine had sounded. “Wait a minute, Blaine, what were you thinking?”

“Umm, nothing,” Blaine said, feeling stupid now.

“Blaine…?” Kurt asked again.

“I hadn’t heard of this Brian before and I remembered you talking about your ex that you dated for a year before going to work in Paris. I put two and two together…” Blaine started to say.

“And came up with five? Come on Blaine, you know I love you. I don’t want anyone else in my life but you. Remember, trust…” Kurt said, knowing he should be upset, but only felt happy that Blaine was back in his life, and still wanted him like he used to.

“I know, sweetheart. I know, and I’m sorry. Things were so much easier, _WE_ were so much easier when we saw each other in school every day. I miss that, you know. Me stopping to get us coffee on my way into school. You waiting for me every morning at your locker with that smile I love. I miss our time in glee club when we used to be able to snuggle together in the back row and getting to spend so much time together. Things were so much easier then, and I think I took it a little for granted then the time we had. If I could go back, I would redo a lot of it,” Blaine said, stopping at a bench and sitting down for a moment, missing Kurt so much even though he was talking to him on the phone. How were they supposed to do this?”

“I know, B. It won’t always be like this, you know. I miss it, too. Getting to see you every day, doing our duets. Our Friday night dates that you always made special, even if we were just hanging out at Breadstix. If I could, I would change a lot of things, too, Blaine, but I wouldn’t change a single moment of the time I got to spend with you,” Kurt said, and Blaine could hear him choking up.

“I wouldn’t change us either, sweetheart. Not one minute of it. And you’re right, we’ll figure this long-distance relationship stuff out together. Hmm, where have I heard that before?” Blaine said with a sad laugh.

“We’ll do better this time, B. We both know what it means to lose each other and I’m not willing to do that again. If I can talk to you on the phone anytime I want to again, I’ll be a happy camper,” Kurt said as tears rolled down his cheeks. He had known this was going to be hard but had no idea just how hard. Maybe it was time to make a change in his life. Kurt decided right then to look into that. With Blaine’s career, he would be limited to California, or maybe even New York, but Kurt could work anywhere. He would have been surprised to know Blaine was contemplating the same thing.

“Shoot, I need to go, Blaine. André is wanting me to go with him and check out a few models for his next runway. Call me tonight?” Kurt asked, hating to hang up, knowing both of their emotions were still so raw. “I love you, B, and I’m so glad to have you back in my life. Please never doubt that, never doubt me.”

“I love you too Kurt, and I’ll call you later before I go on stage, ok?” Blaine asked, not ready to hang up the phone, but knowing Kurt was at work, and had stuff he needed to do.

oOoOo

“What the hell does this picture mean Blaine?” Kurt almost yelled when Blaine answered his phone. He could hear how busy Blaine was. Kurt knew Blaine would be at the concert hall getting ready for his last show in Geneva. Kurt had just got an anonymous message on his twitter feed, showing a picture of Blaine and a really cute guy. Said guy had his arm around Blaine’s waist, and Blaine was looking at the guy with a smile on his face, looking a little too happy for Kurt’s peace of mind, especially when it had been tagged “_could this possibly be Blaine Anderson's new boy toy_?” Kurt had been hurt, and then he got mad. After the conversation they had had this morning, he knew he was supposed to trust, but this was pushing things a little too far.

“What picture Kurt?” Blaine answered, holding the phone away from his ear as Kurt screamed.

“Check your text message Blaine. I just sent it to you, and then maybe you can explain it to me. Is there something you want to tell me?” Kurt asked, trying to calm down and give Blaine a chance to explain.

“Fuck me…” Blaine answered with a sigh.

“That doesn’t sound very comforting Blaine. Is there something you need to share?” Kurt asked, trying to keep his voice from breaking when all he wanted to do was cry.

“That fucking bitch. That picture was taken last night at our meet and greet. I should have known something was wrong when Tina was quick to snap a picture. That guy's name was Stefan. His girlfriend had gotten them their tickets and then was too sick to come to the concert. When he was picked for the meet and greet, he asked for that picture to be taken so he could prove to her that he’d actually met me. We don’t usually take pictures, normally it’s just autographs, but I did it this time because she was sick. I can’t believe Tina would do this. This not only hurts me and you, but it hurts Stefan, too. I guess I need to have another talk with Tina. I swear Kurt, nothing happened. I just got you back, and I am not going to screw this up,” Blaine answered and Kurt could tell by his voice that Blaine was being 100% serious. Kurt no longer had any doubts.

“I’m sorry Blaine. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I should have talked to you first,” Kurt said, hoping Blaine wasn’t mad.

“No, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I can’t believe she did this. My mom is going to see it. She already worries about me enough, now this…” Blaine said, pacing backstage, running his hand through his hair. Tina had done things in the past, but this was the last straw. When Blaine and his crew were heading to Rome, Tina would be heading home to California, or Lima, or wherever the hell she decided to go. She had gone too far this time. He was done.

“Kurt, I’ll call you back, I have something I need to handle. Love you,” Blaine said, disconnecting the call after Kurt had told him he loved him back and stalking off to find Tina.

“Tina, in my dressing room, **_now_**,” Blaine told her when he found her. He could tell by the look on her face she knew she had taken it to far, that she was done.

“How could you, Tina? How could you do this to me, to Kurt, and especially to Stefan? He has a sick girlfriend, and you used that picture to play games,” Blaine said, still not believing she had sunk so low to pull that stunt.

“He’s going to hurt you again Blaine. He’s going to cheat on you and leave you broken,” Tina answered. “I couldn’t just sit back and let it happen again.”

“So you decided to turn _me_ into a cheat. Why? What did Kurt ever do to you, Tina? You guys used to be friends,” Blaine said pacing his dressing room.

“If he broke up with you, I could be there for you. I could help you get over it. Eventually, you would realize that I’m the best person for you. You know I love you, and I know you love me. We could have been good together if he hadn’t managed to worm his way back into your life again,” Tina answered, her voice starting to get loud.

“You know I’m gay, right, Tina? Yes, I love you, but as a friend only. That is all it could have ever been, and after this crazy stunt, I’m not even sure if I can be that anymore,” Blaine said, still in shock over her actions.

“I can make you love me, Blaine. Watch,” Tina said before she threw herself at Blaine, surprising him with a kiss. He stood there for a moment in shock before he realized what was going on and he pushed her off of him.

Blaine walked over to his door, opened it, and looked down the hall. “Hey, Joey can you come in here a minute please?” When Joey walked into the room, Blaine looked at Tina “Please escort Ms. Cohen-Chang back to her motel room, make sure she has all her stuff, and escort her to the airport. She will be leaving the tour immediately.”

“Tina, you’re fired,” Blaine said, before walking out the door, and walking towards the stage door, getting ready to do his final show. “Heeellllooo Geneva!”


	11. Surprise.

A/N: Thanks to my beta JayHawkWrites as always, for taking the time to do this.

oOoOo

After Blaine sings his final song of the night, and while the last chords of music are still softly playing in the background, he walks back over to the mic. “Thank you to everyone who came out to see us tonight. You are an amazing crowd. Good night Geneva, and thank you for welcoming us to your beautiful city,” Blaine said with a wave, one of his signature smiles, and then he walks off stage. Glad another leg of their tour was complete. Three more concerts and the tour would be over, and he could finally go home, whatever home entailed these days.

Blaine hated the idea of going back home to an empty apartment. He couldn’t bring himself to care that Matt would no longer be there, but the person he so wanted to be waiting for him, lived in another country, in another world and Blaine was hoping that between the two of them, they could figure out how to combine their two worlds together again. There really was no other option. Blaine knew he couldn’t go back to a life without Kurt. He would give this life up in a heartbeat if it meant they could be together again.

Blaine happily accepts a bottle of water from one of his backstage crew, opens it up and downs the whole bottle. No matter how many concerts he does, he’s still shocked almost nightly how hot it gets on that stage. The first concert Blaine had ever done, he had made the mistake of wearing a leather jacket. He had still been trying to develop his brand, find his place. Blaine had made it through the first few songs, and that jacket had come off. After that, he only wore a t-shirt and jeans, and sometimes even that was too much.

Blaine wiped off his face with a towel that had been left for him and stood back, listening to the screams coming from the audience. That never got old. Blaine loved to stand backstage and hear the fans cheer for him. It lets him know that he had done something right, that they liked what he had done. Even after all this time, Blaine sometimes still has his doubts that he’s good enough to be there. It still shocked him that every concert he did was sold out, sometimes months in advance. He had always felt like it was a case of the right time, the right place. Remembering when June had taken him under her wing and guided him on. Blaine had still been reeling from losing Kurt, but she had pointed him in the right direction. This might not have been the life he had dreamed of all those years ago. Curled up next to Kurt, as the two of them talked about what they wanted for their future, but, other than the touring, Blaine was happy with the way his life had turned out. Minus losing Kurt, of course.

As the band started making their way off stage, Blaine stopped them until the whole crew was present. “Listen, guys, I know we’re all anxious to get out of here and get to the plane, but we need to have a quick meeting about something that happened earlier tonight. Before we do that, though, I need to have a quick word with Sam, so if you guys don’t mind hanging around for a few minutes, we’ll be right back. Thanks, guys, for everything you do. I appreciate you more than you will ever know.”

Walking away with Sam, Blaine heard the crew starting to whisper behind him, whispers of the band breaking up, wondering if tonight was the end, or would they finish out the rest of the tour since they only had three concerts left before heading home anyway. They all knew Blaine had been unhappy for a while, he always tried to hide his feelings, but he was a better musician and singer than actor. The whole crew had hoped that with him touching base with his ex again, things might have changed, he had actually been happy the last few days. Blaine noticed that even Sam seemed nervous.

“Blaine, is everything ok? You’ve seemed a little off since you walked on stage tonight. I’m not saying you weren’t as great as usual, but it seemed almost like the spark was missing. Like you lost the fire. Did something happen with Kurt? To be honest, I was a little worried about that. Do I need to get Tina? She always seems to know what to say, and why isn’t she already here anyway?” Sam asked, looking around, talking fast, trying to figure out what kind of damage control he and Tina would need to do this time. Sam was surprised that Tina wasn’t already there. She usually had everyone that had been chosen for the meet and greet backstage before the band ever left the stage. Especially on the last night at a venue.

“No, Sam. Everything is fine with Kurt and me. The reason I needed to talk to you is _because_ of Tina. I wanted to tell you what was going on before I talked to the rest of the crew. I had to let Tina go tonight. She will not be with us for the rest of the tour,” Blaine said, hating even saying those words. Tina had been one of his best friends forever. She had been there to pick him up when his world had fallen apart, and so many times after that, but after what she had done, Blaine couldn’t let her stay.

“Blaine? But why, what happened?” Sam asked, confused.

“Over the last few months, Tina has been doing and saying little things that I didn’t like. I didn’t say anything about it because we both know that’s just Tina being Tina. But it had gotten to a point where I couldn’t let it slide anymore. She seems to have taken offense to me getting back together with Kurt. I understand that you guys have your doubts about him and me. You were both there when we fell apart, and I’m ok with that. I’m ok with you two feeling the way you do. What I’m not ok with is Tina purposely trying to sabotage us,” Blaine answered.

“What do you mean sabotage you? Tina would never set out to hurt you, Blaine. She loves you,” Sam asked, not believing that Blaine had fired Tina. They had all been friends since high school. They had been there for each other when each one of their relationships had fallen apart. Sam and Blaine had been there at the beginning of their senior year when Mike had told Tina, he thought they would be better off as friends. Blaine and Tina had been there for Sam when Mercedes’ career had taken off, and she decided she didn’t have time for him anymore, even though he had gotten everything started for Mercedes by posting a YouTube video of her singing Disco Inferno. And Tina and Sam had been there for Blaine when Kurt had pulled the rug out from underneath him.

“I know she loves me, Sam. I love her too. She’s one of my very best friends, but lately, things have gotten bad between us. I tried to keep it away from you. I didn’t want you to feel like I was asking you to pick sides. Because that is the last thing, I would ever do. Sam, the other day when I had my meeting with Tina, when I had to ask you to leave, it was because of this very issue. That’s why I told you that I needed to talk to Tina alone. I’ve never had a problem with talking to the both of you together before, but something was brought to my attention, something I was doing, that I needed to change.”

“After our last concert in Paris, when I sang one of my original songs, she blasted me in front of the whole crew. If she’d come to me in private and told me she didn’t think that was a good idea, we could’ve talked about it, and everything would’ve been ok, but she did it in front of the whole crew. She knew that I had always let things like that go in the past because she was my friend. If Alex or Marc had acted like that though, they would have been gone instantly. But, because she is my friend, I kept letting things slide. I might have let that one go too if she hadn’t attacked Kurt. He had nothing to do with me changing my set list, with me deciding to sing that song, but she took her anger out on him.”

“I talked to Jack about it the next morning, and he told me he had been worried about me bringing Tina on as part of my team from the beginning, but he knew it was what I wanted, that I needed the two of you with me. Jack went on to remind me that yes, Tina was my friend, but during working hours, she was also my employee, and I had never separated the two. I let the lines be blurred for both of us. Jack told me that I needed to talk to her, let her know that during work hours, she was my employee only. After hours she was free to give me as much shit as she wanted to. We talked about this Sam and Tina agreed with it. She told me she knew that she’d crossed a line and she apologized. Tina promised it would never happen again. She did, however, keep making digs at Kurt, but since we weren’t working when she did it, I just asked her to drop it. She had her opinion, and that was ok, but I didn’t want to hear it.”

“I’m not even sure why, but somehow she got it into her head that if Kurt wasn’t around, now that I wasn’t with Matt, I would finally realize that she and I would be perfect together…”

“What!!! Tina knows your gay. What the hell? I mean, there was that time in high school when she had that small crush on you, but she got over that a long time ago.” Sam said in disbelief.

“I thought so too, until Kurt and I got back together. She started doing little things to try to make Kurt and I doubt each other. That was another thing I’d talked to her about, and I thought we had everything settled until I saw this,” Blaine said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and showing Sam the twitter feed that Kurt had sent to him.

“Why would she do that? That not only hurts Kurt but you and this dude at the same time,” Sam said, passing Blaine’s phone back over to him.

“I’m not sure, but when I asked her about it, she said, and I quote, ‘_I can make you love me, Blaine. Watch_.’ And then Sam, she kissed me. I thought the time I kissed Rachel Berry was bad, but Sam, this was like kissing a wet Chihuahua,” Blaine answered.

Sam stood there with his mouth open in disbelief for a few minutes. How could Tina possibly believe she could ‘_make_’ Blaine love her as more than just friends by kissing him. Sam stared at Blaine in shock for a few minutes, and then he thought about what Blaine had said, and saw the look of disgust on Blaine's face, and Sam lost it. He laughed so hard he about peed himself.

“I’m sorry man, I’m sorry, but the look on your face and just when did you kiss a wet Chihuahua anyway?” Sam asked, still laughing so hard he could barely stand up.

“Not funny, Sam. And so not the point,” Blaine said, watching Sam laugh until he finally broke down, laughing himself. “Wow, I’m so glad you’re my friend there Sammie, you are hilarious,” Blaine said, shaking his head watching as Sam tried to pull himself together.

“Sorry man, but wet Chihuahua… really?” Sam said, bursting out laughing again.

“Ok, ok, enough of that _friend._ I need to go talk to the crew and let them know what’s going on, so we can get out of here,” Blaine said, shaking his head and walking away from a still laughing Sam.

Seeing Blaine walking back towards them with a smile on his face and a still laughing Sam behind him put the rest of the crew's minds to rest. They weren’t about to lose their jobs after all. They all knew they could sign on with another band, but they all liked working with Blaine. He always made sure they knew how important they were to him. Not every group did that.

“Thanks for waiting for me guys and for being patient. I know we’re all looking forward to getting on the plane, getting to Berlin, and finding our beds. This shouldn’t take long. Tonight before the show started, I had to let Ms. Cohen-Chang go. She will not be with us for the rest of the tour. I won’t go into the reasons behind this decision, but I felt you all had a right to know.”

“Unfortunately, without her being here, things might not run as smoothly as usual, so I’m going to have to beg your patience until the end of the tour when I can hire a new assistant. Luckily we only have four more concerts left on this tour. I’m going to be talking to Jack in the morning and have him call ahead and advise the venues that, for now, all meet and greets have been suspended. If you have any problems, come to me, and we’ll figure it out together. Thanks in advance guys, for your patience. You make what I do possible, and I wanted you to know that. Ok, let's get out of here,” Blaine said with a smile, turning around, following a runner towards the exit, and out to one of the cars that would be taking him and his crew to the airport.

oOoOo

The rest of the tour went smoothly, with no major hiccups happening. After the concert in Rome, Blaine and his crew went their separate ways, agreeing to meet up for their last show in Québec City, Canada. Blaine couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he made his way through the airport. He was going to London to surprise Kurt for his birthday. Blaine had started making plans for this surprise the minute he had left Kurt in Paris. Blaine had managed to rent a house through Airbnb for three days. Yes, he knew he could have just stayed with Kurt, but for part of his plan, Blaine needed a kitchen, and it would have ruined part of his surprise if he had had to use Kurt’s.

When Blaine’s plane touches down at Heathrow, it’s just past midnight local time. He turns his phone on and calls Kurt as he’s making his way through the airport and then on to customs. It had become routine for Blaine to call Kurt when he walked off the stage every night after a concert, or if he was flying to a new city, then Blaine would call as soon as his plane landed, to let Kurt know that everyone was safe, and they would talk about what Blaine saw as he made his way to his motel. Blaine knew Kurt would be waiting for his call. This time, however, Blaine didn’t tell Kurt where he was, he didn’t describe what he saw as he made his way to the house he had rented. No Kurt would have known right away where he was.

“No sweetheart, as usual, I can’t see a thing. It’s so dark, all I can really see are the lights we pass. I’ll go exploring tomorrow and tell you all about it,” Blaine said with a smile spreading across his face. It was killing him that he was back in the same city with Kurt, and couldn’t go straight to him, but if he wanted to surprise him, this is how it has to be. Blaine had even gone so far as to call Kurt’s boss André and asked him to make sure that Kurt worked tomorrow, well, technically today. Kurt was probably going to kill him when he finds out, but hopefully, it will be worth it.

“So, you have three nights before your last concert on tour. What are you planning on doing during your time off?” Kurt asked.

“I had honestly thought about flying home, or going to see mom and dad for a few days, but the thought of going through customs, going home for a day and a half, then having to turn around and do it all over again, just seemed like too much trouble. I can just go home after the last show, and relax for a while. Maybe go and spend a week with Mom and Dad. It’s been a while since I’ve been home, to be honest. I guess I’ll just bum around Québec and see what kind of trouble I can get myself into. Sam’s already dying to get out and about,” Blaine said with a sigh.

“Oh, ok,” Kurt said, sounding disappointed.

“Kurt, what’s wrong?” Blaine asked, sitting up straighter in his seat, watching the lights of London as they passed.

“It’s nothing really, I was just going to suggest you come here during your downtime, but you’re right about the customs thing, that would be kind of crazy, wouldn’t it,” Kurt answered softly, and then a thought hit him. If Blaine couldn’t come to him, maybe he could go to Blaine, they could spend three days together in Québec. That thought had Kurt smiling again. He would talk to André first thing in the morning.

“Listen sweetheart, I need to go ahead and get off here. We just got to our hotel, and we need to go get checked in. I’m so used to Tina taking care of all this for me. Oh well, I’ll call you in the morning, ok?”Blaine asked, stepping out of the car seeing that the owner of the house he would be renting was already there.

“You’d better. Tell Sam hi for me, ok. I love you Blaine,” Kurt said, walking towards his room to get ready for bed.

“I love you too Kurt, and I’ll talk to you in the morning. Night,” Blaine said before ending the call.

“Ms. Conners? Hi, I’m Blaine Anderson,” Blaine said, walking up to the petite woman waiting on him, holding out his hand

“Hi Mr. Anderson, welcome to London,” She said, shaking his hand. “Per your request, I’ve done the shopping, and picked up everything on your list. I left the receipt with the totals on the bar. The kitchen is fully stocked and should have everything you need. Please call me if there are any problems,” Ms. Conners said with a big smile. She was a big fan of Blaine’s and hoped to use the fact that he had stayed here as an advertisement for future renters.

“Thank you so much. You just saved me an earlier morning than I had planned on,” Blaine said, taking the keys she offered him and made his way into the house. Looking around, it was perfect.

Blaine opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of diet coke. He hasn’t had one since he left Paris and had almost forgotten how good they were. Looking through the rest of the fridge, and then the cabinets, Blaine found everything he had asked for, down to the square, white, bakers box he would need in the morning. Taking another sip of his coke, Blaine carried his suitcase into the room he would be using, set it down on the bed, and rummaged through his clothes until he found the pair of lounge pants and t-shirt he planned on sleeping in that night. Stripping off his clothes as he walked to the bathroom, Blaine stopped long enough to grab a fresh towel and wash rag off of the dresser, and made his way to the on-suite bathroom. Finally taking the shower, he had wanted to take since stepping off the stage in Rome. The water hitting his body felt wonderful.

When the water started to turn cold, Blaine stepped out of the shower, dried off, dressed, and picked up his clothes. On his way to the kitchen Blaine grabbed the bag he always kept his dirty clothes in and went in search of the washer. When he found it, he stood there in front of the thing for five minutes, trying to figure out how it worked. He had forgotten that in the UK, most people had a washer/dryer combo in one machine. Blaine read over the instruction for the third time, and then finally just went with it. At least the clothes he was trying to wash was just what he wore off stage. None of what he considered work clothes would be damaged. Those were on their way to Québec, with part of his crew, so if he damaged something, he could always replace it. His mom would die if she knew how many times that had happened, Blaine thought with a grin.

When he had the washer set to wash and dry his clothes, he made his way back to the bedroom, pulled down the bed linen, and crawled in bed, sighing as his body sank into the soft mattress.

oOoOo

When Blaine’s alarm went off the next morning at 8:00 am, he turned it off, rolled over, and almost drifted off to sleep. Remembering what today was, was the only thing that stopped him. Making his way to the kitchen, the first thing Blaine did was fire up the coffee maker. Blaine, without coffee, was still not a good thing. After finishing his second cup, he got to work on part of Kurt’s surprise. Blaine had several things planned for today. Once he was done, Blaine turned off the oven, and while everything was cooling, he went and got dressed for the day, taking particular care with his looks, he would be seeing Kurt today after all.

When everything was ready, Blaine made his way outside to the car waiting for him, his precious box in hand. He gave the driver the address of where he was going and then sat back trying to calm his nerves. Would Kurt be happy to see him, or would he resent it that Blaine hadn’t warned him of his visit? By the time they were pulling up at the address, Blaine was a nervous wreck. He sat there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, trying to calm down, before paying the driver and stepping out of the car, making sure his sunglasses were in place, he made his way to the door.

The minute Blaine opened the door, he felt a refreshing blast from the air conditioning. He looked around for a moment and then noticed the visitor's desk and made his way over to it, sitting the box he had been carrying down on the counter. Blaine waited a few minutes for the receptionist to notice him, and when she didn’t, he cleared his throat. When that didn’t work either, Blaine decided to speak.

“Excuse me, ma’am, could you please call Kurt Hummel and tell him his boyfriend is here,” Blaine said with a smile, his heart skipping a beat, just being able to say that again.

“Funny... If you knew Mr. Hummel, you would know he doesn’t have a boyfriend,” the woman answered without looking away from her computer screen.

“I beg to differ, but I’ll play along with you. Can you please tell Mr. Hummel, he has a visitor then,” Blaine said, trying not to lose his patience.

“Listen, I have strict instruction from Mr. Hummel not to bother him under any circumstances, and I don’t plan on it, especially since he is in a pissy mood this morning,” She said, still not looking up from her screen.

“Why is Kurt in a pissy mood?” Blaine asked, now concerned. Kurt had seemed fine when they talked last night. Maybe because he hadn’t called Kurt first thing this morning the way he usually did. Blaine had just gotten so busy, he had lost track of time, plus he had known he would be seeing Kurt this morning anyway.

“Not that it is any of your concern why _Mr. Hummell_ is pissy, but he tried to convince his boss to let him off so he could go to Canada today, why I don’t know, but André told him he had just gotten back and he was needed here. I think he was also pissed that he had to work today since it’s his birthday. It would seem that he always gets his birthday off except this year, _it must be nice_,” She said in a whispered tone.

“Listen, would it be possible just to call Kurt and ask him if he has time to see me?” Blaine asks, thinking he is going to have to ruin his surprise, pull out his phone and call Kurt himself.

“Listen, Mr….”

“Anderson, Blaine Anderson,” Blaine said, waiting for her to look up and recognize him. She had a magazine on her desk with his picture on the front page for goodness sake.

“Yeah, right, Blaine Anderson, sure you are,” she said, laughing and only then looked up. “Bloody hell, it’s really you. You’re Blaine Anderson.” She said, staring at him with her mouth hanging open.

“Yes, I am. Now can you please call Kurt and let him know his boyfriend is here to see him?” Blaine said with a smile spreading across his face. That never got old, getting to call Kurt his boyfriend again.

"No, you're _the_ BLAINE ANDERSON" she almost screamed looking at Blaine starstruck.

Ahh, a fan Blaine thought with a smile. "Yes ma'am, now, can I _please_ see Kurt?" Blaine smiled, watching as she quickly picked up the phone and dialed a number.

“Mr. Hummel, Mr. Blaine Anderson is here to see you, and I mean _THE_ Blaine Anderson,” Blaine started laughing when he heard Kurt screaming over the phone, and watched as the secretary pulled the receiver away from her ear.

The next thing Blaine heard was someone running down the hall and he suddenly found his arms full of Kurt. “Blaine, what are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I would have forced André to give me the day off. I don’t know why he is making me work today anyway. He knows what today is,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine, only then wondering if Blaine even remembers what today is.

“That’s my fault sweetheart. I called André a few days ago and told him that I wanted to surprise you for your birthday. I had a feeling you were going to try to surprise me in Canada, but this is the first time in over four years that we can be together on your birthday, so I wanted to surprise you here, starting with this,” Blaine said picking up the box he had sat on the counter when he had first walked in, handing it to Kurt.

“What’s this?” Kurt asked, holding the box looking up at Blaine, still in shock that he was really there.

“Well, I started thinking about a few promises I made you our first Christmas together as a couple. I might be a few years behind, but I hope this will start to make up for it,” Blaine answered softly.

Kurt was lost, trying to think of what promise Blaine could have made that would need a box. Kurt sat the box back down on the counter, opened the lid, and started to cry, instantly remembering the promise ring Blaine had given him their first real Christmas together. Kurt remembered one of the promises Blaine had made that day was, ‘_I promise_ _to bake you cookies at least twice a year.’_ That first year Blaine had kept that promise. He had made Kurt his favorite cookies more than twice that year. They had broken up before Blaine could ever make him more.

“You remembered,” Kurt whispered, with tears running down his face, reaching out to pull Blaine to him.

“Remembered what? My promises to you that day, or that today was your birthday? Because Kurt, how could I have forgotten either,” Blaine said, leaning back enough to kiss Kurt. Only when he heard people around them cheer, did Blaine remember they were in a public place. “Come on, let’s get out of here and go somewhere quiet. Oh, and André agreed to give you the rest of the day off.”

Kurt could do nothing but smile. That was three promises Blaine had kept today. The first being to surprise him. Kurt couldn’t have been more surprised by Blaine’s visit. The second, to kiss him whenever, and wherever he wanted, and oh how Kurt had wanted that kiss. The last being the cookies. Blaine had taken the time to make Kurt his favorite cookies, how he didn’t know and didn’t care. Blaine was here, and that was all that really mattered, after all, Kurt thought pulling Blaine back into his arms, never wanting to let him go again.


End file.
